Cautionary Talespin

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2010-02-09T12:03:00.000-06:00

So it's been a couple weeks since I promised to start blogging again. I suck at this game, but I've been in my "empty box". And I like it there.

I start my new job on Monday and I'm super excited. I hadn't planned on going back to work outside the home for another couple years, but I think I've found the perfect job for me... so it's a good change.

My loving Andy and I were at church for the Stupid Bowl Party on Sunday. I saw a lady with a haircut similar to mine and said something like, "Her hair looks almost like mine." Andy's response: "All middle-aged white ladies have haircuts like yours." To add insult to injury, he further explains by stating, "It's like when I bought my truck... I didn't notice all the blue Dodge's until I had one." That explains the dual-cab sized behind I keeping dragging around with me. Thanks Andy. Love you too.

Mark Gungor is a genius. Pure genius. And he's pretty funny too. Andy and I joined a small group thing at church where we discuss Gungor's Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage DVD's. According to Gungor, men's brains are filled with tiny, single-task oriented boxes. There is a box for work, a box for cleaning, a box for sports, a box for sex (that box is probably bigger than the rest) and get this... there is a "nothing" box. When they are done with the task at hand, let's say changing the oil in the car, they close the box, put it back where it goes and proceed on to the next box. It's important not to interrupt them while they are in a certain box because they won't retain a word you've said. I believe that. Especially when they are in the nothing box. And there really is nothing in there. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. And they won't let us in there to see what it's all about because they think we will want to throw some paint on the walls, put up a curtain or two and add a nice throw rug. Yanno, to make it more cozy. So the next time you ask your dear husband, "What are you thinking about" and he replies, "Uh.... nothing," it's probably true. Don't fret. Soon enough they'll put that stupid little nothing box away and get out another one.

Andy bought me a ginormous bag of peanuts from a street vendor the other day. And I love him dearly for it. Now I can sit on the couch, stare at the TV and hork down 5 lbs of peanuts. My theory: If he gets a "nothing" box then I get an "empty box". I've come to adore my empty box. It's like taking a mental health day, only shorter.

I have a love/hate relationship with tax time. I love that we still get refunds. We might even pop out a couple more kids just to ensure the money keeps coming in. Kind of like life-long welfare moms having babies to get a raise. It works for them. The only problem is tax time comes right after Christmas time. That's stupid. It should be during the summer, say July, when we take our Florida vacation every year. Not when we are still playing catch up for going overboard buying Christmas presents for every kid in Oklahoma. Perhaps if I didn't expect a refund I wouldn't spend so much on Christmas. Wishful thinking, I'm sure. It just seems every year we end up paying off things instead of getting to treat ourselves to a new fridge (one that closes without hurling 200 pounds of body weight against it), or a new livingroom suite (one that doesn't have springs stabbing you in the rump from a houseful of folks plopping bodies on it), or even a new bedroom set (preferably with mattresses that don't squeak so the kids won't hear about "mommy and daddy time").

I've often wondered something. I'll be in the livingroom ~~playing~~ working on the computer with my back to the TV, but I'm still listening to the program that's on. Andy will come in there, snatch up the remote and change the channel to something sports related without a second thought. Bleh. But when he's in bed and he hears me coming down the hall on my way to bed, he hurries up to turn the TV on George Lopez or Roseanne because he knows I love those two shows. Why doesn't that same thought process apply in the livingroom?

That's all for my random thoughts. I should probably get some work done today.

Toodles.

What I Meant to Say Wednesday

2010-01-20T11:40:00.003-06:00

Excuse me normally funny person who I usually love to be around, remember when I said abso-friggin-lutely nothing the other day when I was over at your house and you were ranting about mean kids, specifically one of MINE!?!?

What I really meant to say was:

Even though you are 300 lbs and 6 foot 4, if you don't take a big swig of ~~shutthehellup~~ your super-sized Jack and Coke I'm going to climb up that massive body of yours and punch you dead in the mouth! Repeatedly. Until I see blood.

How dare you point fingers at my ~~obnoxious~~ angelic child and blame her for TWO things, when one was clearly done by another kid!!! Not to mention they ALL are acting just like... well, just like K-I-D-S!!!!

How dare you rant on and on about it like her ~~quick-to-pounce, spider-monkey~~ nonviolent mother wasn't even in the room!!!

How dare you act like this when her father, in another room tending to YOUR children, wasn't there to choke you out!!!

How dare you insult the ~~perfect~~ parenting style of myself and my husband because we don't SCREAM incessantly at our children instilling fear to their very core!!!!

I think it's time you find another babysitter, my dear friend, because apparently the 10 frigging hours I spend each and every weekday of my life taking care of your two ~~demon~~ precious spawnlings, who happen to actually listen to me and then turn into little hellions the instant their mom walks in the door, isn't proof enough of my impeccable parenting methods. Yes, my friend, I think it's time because I quit!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That felt so darn good!

You know you want to join in on the fun at Chief's! Go ahead... it's free therapy!

Science and Sex Ed... Hmm

2010-01-20T10:59:00.002-06:00

I know... it's been a month since I've posted. After reading this post I can only pray the blog-Gods forgive me for my absence. Trust... it's funny.

So yesterday I get a two calls from the school of eldest child, age 15 and thoroughly enjoying her first year of high school. I'll save the call from the principal for the another post, but the first call was from Ms. Hensley, the science teacher.

Science just happens to be Nisha's first class of the day. Blah. Who wants learn all about scientific discoveries and technical terms at precisely 7:41 am five days a week?!?! I can feel her pain. Kind of. I don't feel the pain of the child who already has FOUR missing assignments this semester and barely passed a test when she's only been back to school after Christmas vacation for TWO weeks!!!

So I inform the lovely Ms. Hensley this problem will rectified the very next time she is graced with Nisha's presence -- rest assured -- and hang up.

Of course, after school Nisha is just as delightful as ever and carries on with her normal activities of snarfing down a couple hot dogs and planting her ample behind on the couch to catch up on her DVR'd Maury episodes. She just can't wait to see who the baby daddy is... or isn't. We have a ~~screaming match~~ pleasant chat about exactly why her science work isn't being turned in and what's her reply??? "I don't know." Ex-ca-use me. You don't know? Why don't you know? You attend that effing class each and every morning, know about the assignments, know your teacher gave you until Monday to get them all turned in and yet you don't know. I just don't get it.

So, being the ~~meanass~~ ever patient and loving mother that I am, Nisha is forced to get out her homework and get it finished. She gets out her book and papers and gets busy. Shortly after she's having a complete conversation with herself. Normally she saves these conversations for the bathroom. She'll walk in there, shut the door, and talk to herself in the mirror. That's normal right?

She didn't know I was listening, obviously, and if I wasn't it would be held against me later. She told herself she wasn't going to do the homework and she'd just ask a friend for help or get her teacher to help her, and shuts the book. Oh no, that's not going to work little sister. After ~~telling her I was going to punch her in the head if she didn't straighten up~~ gentle persuasion she opened the book back up and I decided to help.

So we get to the thermal expansion section of her textbook.

Science Lesson: For those of you nonscience geeks, it's like when the red or silver line in a thermometer rises when heated. I know. We all thought it was magic and the little red line just floated up to the right number. Actually, the red or silver line is either alcohol or mercury (which expand when heated) and because they have nowhere else to go as the temperature rises, the go up. Fancy huh?

Well, because Nisha isn't the brightest bulb in the box I try to explain things in a nonscience way so she'll understand. And the only thing I could think of was...

ready?

no, I mean are you really ready for this???

a weiner

That's all I had people. A weiner. I couldn't, for the life of me, come up with ANYTHING else on this God-forsaken planet that gets bigger when heated???

So I proceeed with my science/sex ed lesson by saying:

Me: I guess it's kind of like a weiner.

Nisha: (gasp) Mama!

Me: Well, it starts out small and as it heats up it stretches out and gets bigger right? It has nowhere else to go but out.

Nisha: (ears and cheeks turning red) Mama!

Me: Thermal expansion is what happens when a dong gets excited. But you can't use that example in class, k? They'll call CPS on me and they'll take you away forever. Promise me you won't use that example! Promise!!!

So there you have it. That's my answer and I'm sticking to it.

(Disclaimer: Thermal expansion is not the real explanation for a penile erection and should not be used as a real example, especially in science classes. It should be saved for biology, obviously.)

Midnight Megaphone

2009-12-18T23:37:00.002-06:00

So it's almost midnight and I'm perusing blogs instead of finishing the last chapter of this book. It makes absolutely no sense to me because once the book is finished, I get paid... and it's close to Christmas and being paid would be lovely. But no. Everything in my head is spinning so fast I can't concentrate on the Final Flippin Chapter!

Wanna know where my thoughts are?

I suppose I could share.

I get a call today about noonish from Andy's mom. I usually don't answer because I know she's just looking for him and will try his cell phone next. No biggie. Something told me to answer today. And I'm glad I did.

She's calm at first and asks who she's talking to (b/c apparently I sound like a man and she usually thinks I'm Andy when she calls). I tell her it's me and she immediately gets frantic. She's bawling on the phone, blubbering and I finally get it out of her, "My house has just been broken into! They've stolen everything, Christmas presents and the TV..." I stop her, tell her to keep calm (especially since Baby Love is over there) and call Andy. He's in a meeting of course... because that's what happens during every emergency. There is always some important business deal going down right when the family calls to report a pteradactyl in the backyard or something. Anyway, I simply tell Andy, "Call your mother right now, someone just broke into her house."

Andy, of course, being the "perfect son" heads straight to his mom's house, plays CSI guy and calms his mom down. A few hours later the police have come and gone, mama has a new door with steel reinforcements professionally installed and Andy is on his way home with the kids.

He's obviously upset. His mama is all of 4 foot 11.5 inches. She's just a short little, plump lady who wouldn't hurt a fly. She loves with all her heart and is completely devoted to her family. Her husband passed over 15 years ago she's never looked at another man. She still has birthday parties for him and celebrates his life, their lives together. She's an amazing person.

The middle son has graciously offered to hand over a wad of cash so Christmas will still be on for the kids at grandma's. An insurance claim will be filed of course, but it surely won't get here in time for Santa to deliver presents.

In my spare time (like right now, when I should be snuggled up next to my husband who will be leaving me in 2 short hours to go hunting) I was thinking... Mean People Suck! This is the time of year when people should be happy and smiling and giving and loving. This is the time of the year when fireplaces are lit and you can smell the chimneys through the whole neighborhood. And when kids are even watching the news to see if we will have a white Christmas.

This is also the time of year when the loser ass bullies are breaking into the homes of hard-working folks and rob their children of Christmas presents. And when thieves are everywhere, carefully stalking their next victim. When purses are held tight to the body and walking to your car alone in the dark after a shopping spree causes the heart to thump so loud you can hear it.

Which leads me to this... why is it people don't feel blessed until something bad happens? Everything revolves around Christmas presents. Do they even know why there is a Christmas in the first place? What this holiday really means? Andy said something to me tonight, I don't remember the exact comment, but my retort was, "Maybe this Christmas people should focus a little more on the blessings of health and family than how many Christmas presents are under the tree."

I wasn't being mean. He agreed actually. I'm guilty of not appreciating my blessings until a threat rears its ugly head. I am guilty of not teaching my kids the value of life and living a good life instead of fixing and pacifying them with material things. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between bribing and teaching. And sometimes I'm just too lazy to fight about it, so I opt for the easy way out -- bribes.

My goal this Christmas season is to get closer to the basics and show by example how to bless others, instead of catching the kids counting how many gifts under the tree have their names on them and keeping some kind of tally to see who has the most. Andy and I seriously need to redirect our family so blessings are treated as blessings and gifts don't monopolize the meaning of Christmas.

And it took a robbery to hit me in the face. Pathetic.

Happy Tuesday Bloggyland

2009-12-01T09:08:00.003-06:00

So I've been MIA for a while now and decided to get back to the blog world.

Quick update:

Still in school
Still writing (on my 3rd book now)
Still happily married and enjoying my wonderfully blended family

That about sums it up.

Andy and I went to see my family in Texas for turkey break and had a great time. I got my mama to say "shitload" and I giggled like a 4 y/o. Then my grandma asked Andy if he thought she was a "good Indian" or a "bad Indian". Way to put him on the spot granny. My mom helped me smuggle a ton of spices out of granny's kitchen (only because she buys industrial-sized seasoning bottles) and my car smelled like a restaurant for three days. Poor Andy drove all the way there and all the way back, let me get us lost on the way there, and was in bumper to bumper traffic on the way home. And because he bought me a power inverter so I could take my laptop and plug it in, I didn't pay attention to anything other than Sims3 and how far away Jack in the Box was. He's so good to me.

I still keep Big K and Baby K during the week for Andy's nephew and they are getting so big! Baby K is walking and talking and being a big girl. Big K is such a great big sister, except of course when she doesn't want to share.

Nisha is almost 16 and driving me bonkers about her drivers license. Poor kid. It won't be coming any time soon and she hasn't quite wrapped her head around that idea. Her neurologist wouldn't sign the medical release, said a family physician needed to do that. I found that particularly odd since she's had seizures for 15 years, had the same neurologist for 15 years... and they wouldn't sign the paper. Hmm.

DD was accepted into a college prep school this year and is doing so well! She was behind in the public school system and they are moving her right up to where she should be. By next year she'll be at least a grade ahead of the public school kids in her grade.

Baby Love just turned 5 and she's in school this year. She loves it! Such a fast learner too! And Monkey Boy is enjoying the days alone with his grandpa during the week because the girls are all in school. He's eating up the attention, and actually is much more calm when they aren't around.

Our custody schedule has changed a bit since Baby Love is in school and that part sucks, but we know it's for the best. DD and Baby Love stay with their mom during the week so they are in the same bed each night and have a dedicated routine for school. Monkey Boy gets to come over a couple times a week to stay the night and then we get all three of them every other weekend. Nisha is with us full-time and I don't think she'd change a thing. Andy has shown her in the past 2 years everything that a father should be and she's eating it up.

Andy's promotion at work has brought him closer and closer to the big-wigs and greater contacts at work. I'm so proud of him! I'm still plugging along at school and I don't think I'll ever be finished. I should get to start my degree program in the spring, and then it's another 15 months to get my BS from there. And my plan is to immediately start my Master's right after that.

So I think that's the recent rundown... I should probably get back to this book I'm writing. The quicker I get finished, the quicker I get paid. Although I have decided to start with the blogs in the morning to get my creative juices flowing. Can't wait to read up on everything I've missed over these last few months!

Have a great Tuesday bloggy friends!

I'm Writing a Book... and I Need Your Help!

2009-09-28T13:10:00.002-05:00

Ok so if you read the last post, you'd know that I'm pursuing my career as a writer now.

I've been blessed with several awesome opportunities as of late and I'm enjoying every minute of it. Most of the things I write at the moment are ghostwriting jobs, which means I get no credit, do all the hard work, and then hand off my creation to someone else to make millions (ok millions might be a slight exaggeration).

So here's my latest big project and I really need some help guys.

I'm writing a lymphoma survivor case study. I need 7 survivors of lymphoma (Hodgkin and nonHodgkin) with various types of treatment; chemo/radiation, surgical, herbal, dietary and any other alternative method.

I need 7 people I can interview (online or off) who will allow me to write a chapter each on their entire process; from prediagnosis to remission. I would really like to use their names, the names of physicians, hospitals, etc., but I understand if they prefer that information be left out.

This book will be written as an inspirational guide for those who have just been diagnosed with lymphoma and I'm really excited about it. If I do a good job on this one, my client has promised many more projects like this in the future! So c'mon, help a budding writer out!

If you all or anyone you know is a survivor of lymphoma and would like to be featured in a book, please get back with me. I've joined several forums for cancer survivors and the likes for leads, but I'm opening the floor to the bloggyworld as well.

Thanks guys, any help is appreciated!

LTNW: I'm Back....Again!

2009-09-28T12:55:00.003-05:00

Long time no write peoples! I'm not sure if anyone still reads this blog... probably not since there's been nothing to read in AGES!

Things have sure been busy around here. I thought with summer ending and the kids getting back in school I'd have more time to devote to my blog. Ugh!

Here's the good and bad... just to catch up!

Good - I'm still in school and one day will have that blasted Master's degree! One day a long, long... long, long, long time from now... but I WILL finish!

Bad - I'm no longer a medical transcriptionist. After 15 years I've quit. I hate it. I've grown to despise doctors who eat and dictate, can't spell and can't pronounce drugs or general anatomy parts in a clear manner. And I'm not even talking about the ESL doctors, they are a friggin BREEZE! Plus - with emerging technology, my job is going to be eliminated anyway. My service got hit hard last December when a major hospital went to a "point and click" system in their ER; that was a multimillion dollar account. Then, three weeks ago I get a similar notice that we've lost another biggie. Not good. This was my bread and butter people!

Good - I'm pursuing my dream of writing. At 12 I decided I wanted to be a writer, but never went for it full force. It's a sink or swim world baby! I was a big fat chicken, I'll admit. But I had to count on money coming in and there was no sure thing with writing. Recently, I've been doing a lot of ghostwriting for a bunch of different projects. I'm getting my feet wet and I love it! One of these days I'll have my own books published and I'm going to need every single one of you to make a purchase. Thank you in advance.

Bad - My ex is still an idiot. I thought there was a statue of limitations on a stupidity-coma, but he's going on more than 5 years now and nothing has changed. There's still a heartbeat and a viable pulse, but it appears there is no activity "upstairs".

Good - My husband continues to surprise me on a daily basis. He's by far the most loving and devoted person on the planet and I can't imagine my life without him. I should pat myself on the back for stalking him. Job well done.

Bad - New drama unfolds with the dear hubby's ex and I'll be sure to enlighten you all soon enough. She's... well, uh... she certainly surprised me.

And on that note, I'll end the good and bad news update from my crotch of the US stance in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma.

So... We're Married Now!!!

2009-08-03T08:11:00.003-05:00

We headed for Florida but with a new idea in mind. We decided instead of having a huge wedding at home to get married at our favorite place in the world... Anna Maria Island!!! Everything fell perfectly into place, and to tell you the truth, we couldn't have planned a more beautiful and perfect wedding!!! Along with the wedding as the highlight of our vacation, we also had a blast on the boat and jet skis, packed a picnic and played on the beach, saw dolphins and manatees right in the water with us, went parasailing, enjoyed a Yankees game where they smashed the Tampa Bay Rays, and of course, hit our regular bars for the dart tournaments and karaoke.

We were able to have our two oldest girls there, along with my sister, her Dick and her two youngest kids there as well. We hired an awesome lady, Rev. Georganne Butler, to perform the barefoot sunset ceremony, incorporating all four of our kids names, while the two oldest girls took their places on each of our sides. We found the perfect location on Anna Maria Island right in front of the Sandbar, a well-known restaurant in the area, who seated our party of 8 right on the patio area overlooking the gorgeous beach, just before sunset. My sister, the excellent photographer that she is, took some amazing shots.... here are a few!

During the ceremony...

The cake and champagne at the house...

The wedding toast....

All of us at dinner at the Sandbar... this was taken by Brian, quite possibly the best waiter on the planet!

This was after the ceremony and during dinner... we got tons of shots of the sunset in all its glory...

Truly an amazing experience. It was secluded, private, simple and delicious... Now no longer living in sin, I'd like to reintroduce myself to the bloggy world as Mrs. Andy.

Makin' Friends Monday

2009-07-13T08:11:00.002-05:00

So it's Monday again. Bleh. I'm in a pretty grumpy mood this morning, and I'm sure I'll rant about that later... but for right now I'm going to try and turn my spirits around with Makin' Friends Monday! Woop woop! I played along last week and I got lots of nice comments from lots of nice blog peeps and really, who can be in a pissy mood when things like that happen?

So Kasey at All That is Good usually hosts, but I'm assuming she's still out galavanting the country and Mamarazzi has been kind enough to fill in. Go on over and check it out! They both have awesome blogs!

Mamarazzi asks us to name 5-10 of our favorite things, inventions or things that have changed our lives... this should be easy enough, especially since I'm an infomercial-whore and addicted to things that once I see, I'm definitely going to need.

Now obviously, as a perfect mommy and wife-to-be I wouldn't be able to maintain my throne without saying the my entire favorite things post includes only that of my four children and fiance. Without them, my life would be dreary and ugly and meaningless.

Ok, now on to the more important things:

Pepsi - this has been an addiction of mine for as far back as I can remember. Without Pepsi, my days are long and boring and caffeine-less. I don't drink coffee on a regular and I can't afford fraps from Starbucks on a daily basis, so something has to feed my crack-whore addiction. Nothing else I've found is legal, has the oomph to make me move my ample ass in the morning or tastes that dang good!
Google - I'm nosey and an information nutjob. I have this instinctive need to fill all this empty space in my head with random knowledge. My brain is a like a vat of useless information that some day might be of use when I'm a contestant on Jeopardy or Who Wants To Be A Millionairre. One day I'll be smart enough, but until then I'm going to google any and everything.
Plastic containers & Ziplocks - I know it sounds stupid, but think about it this way... if you have an entire cabinet full of plastic containers, you will never need to find a way to save left-overs, freeze meats if you buy them by the family pack and don't need to use the entire 7 lbs of hamburger meat at a time, a place to put all the hair ties that comes with having a family of 4 girls, a place for the crayons that usually end up under the couch b/c the stupid Crayola box never houses them quite right if you remove them only once, all the office/desk stuff (paperclips, thumb tacks, stamps, loose change, etc) that just doesn't have an appropriate place, the tween/teen pens and pencils that you definitely have to keep separated from the Crayons. Seriously, these things save my life on a daily basis.
Notepads - I'm a list makin' fool. I make lists for the lists I need to make. Like today, I'm starting my list of things I need to make a list for so we will be prepared to leave for our Florida vacay 10 days from now. I need to make a list of what to pack for each child, for the man (because I pack his stuff too), the fun-in-the-sun check list so we don't burn our asses on the uber-hot Florida beaches, the snack list for ice chest on the trip there, the grocery list for the snack list so I can make treats instead of spending countless dollars on shit for them to munch on in the car... the list-making never ends.
Lawry's. This is a serious addiction and Andy makes fun of me for this one. In my cabinet right now I have 5 large, unopened bottles of Lawry's Seasoning Salt and 4 large, unopened bottles of Lawry's Garlic Seasoning. It appeares that every single time I'm in the grocery store, this makes the "I may not need it right now, but eventually I will so I'm going to buy it" category. I use mostly these two seasonings on meat dish I cook and I think I'm scared one day I won't have any and dinner will be ruined. I even have one bottle of each, unopened, in the camping buckets (because we are prepared like that and have two, big ass camping buckets will all the seasonings, utensils, plates, a skillet, cutting board, knives, sunblock, hair-tie bag, floaties and a checklist of everything that we are going to need for the next camping trip).

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure my list could go on forever. They are simple things that make my life a lot easier... which makes life easier for Andy and the kids... See it's not all selfish. I'm thinking about them too. I mean seriously, their life is MUCH easier when Mama has her Pepsi-fix while she's writing down that she needs Ziplocks on her list of shit to get at dollar store, but not before googling to see if there is a more appropriate way to store all the trial size vacay shit that she's going to buy at wally world for the Florida trip so everyone has their OWN shit and Mama doesn't have to hear shit when the kids start griping about the other one using all the shampoo and shit.

Seriously, this shit makes my life easy!

Calling ALL BLOGGERS!!!

2009-07-10T11:48:00.002-05:00

In lieu of the lack of responses to my previous request for help with my paper on Social Class in America, I've chosen a different subject... one that many of you may have personal experience with.

So again, I beg for help... and keep in mind, I could make you famous with my research paper and oral presentation (where I have to be all crafty and give handouts and use visual aids and stuff) for this class. I mean FAMOUS. Not bloggyland "Oh I mentioned your name" kind of stuff. We are talking royalties beyond our wildest dreams and book publications and public speaking opportunities and traveling and everything. Ok - that's all a lie, but I sure could use some personal experience stories to include in my paper.

This is the RMCH (Ronald McDonald Charity House) where we stayed in Ft. Worth. Yep - we were there for two weeks and let me tell you, there is nothing more amazing and awe-strikingly beautiful that I've experienced in my life. Since my stay at RMCH I've urged people if there is any charity in the world worth giving to, it would be there. An amazing experience.

Set aside the fact that my daughter, only 12 at the time who had dealt with a seizure disorder all her life, was in Cook Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth undergoing brain surgery. Set aside the fact that her TWO scheduled brain surgeries turned into THREE. Set aside the fact that by brain surgery, I mean cutting out a chunk of deformed brain cells in multiple spots and we wouldn't know if she was going to have neurological deficits like loss of speech, loss of motor skills, etc., until it was all over. Set aside the fact that Ft. Worth is the closest place (4 hours from my home in Oklahoma) that had a pediatric epileptologist and pediatric neurosurgeon available. Set aside the fact that we didn't know anyone in Ft. Worth where we could stay and 2 weeks at a hotel wasn't in the budget, plus meals and transportation and every other minor detail that you run across while out of town. And set aside all the anxiety, tears, worry, more tears, surgery after surgery after surgery, test after test after test, and everything else you might imagine would be involved in sending your child "under the knife".

Why set that aside? Because after staying at RCMH I realized I was one of the few mothers who would be allowed to take her child home in just a couple short weeks. I was the minority.

The families at this place were amazing. The staff was amazing. They have a full kitchen loaded down with food that is all FREE. They have a game room, a quiet room, a library, laundry facilities, WiFi and a computer with printer available for use in the lobby, a patio with picnic tables and a playground area for kids... and half the nights there was a local business catering supper. All FREE. Each family has their own bedroom, kind of like a hotel, only no maid. We had a TV, bathroom, dresser, two full size beds and a walk-in closet. All they ask in return is a donation -- whatever you can afford. The lady told me that some people pay $25 a night, some pay $10 a night, and some aren't able to make a donation at all.

I'm not a people person, and during the time I wasn't in the hospital room with Nisha, I walked over to RMCH to shower, change, clear my head and get some work done. I brought the laptop with me so I could work. While sitting on the patio pounding away on the laptop I overheard several of the conversations. One lady was there from another state with her son who had leukemia. She comes in once every couple of months and stays for a few weeks while he gets treatment, but this time his prognosis wasn't so good and she didn't think he was going to make it. Another lady, from some rural town in Texas, had her husband and another child at the RMCH while her terminally ill daughter was never going to make it out of the cancer ward. They were there to watch their daughter die. Another mother was there with her small, previously healthy toddler who suffered a traumatic brain injury and she would be wheeling her child out, never to walk or talk again. These stories just poured out of these ladies. They had all become family, a support system for each other. I stood back in awe.

I felt guilty. I didn't want to share my story with these ladies, even though they were looking at me, eyes wide with curiosity, to see if I was in their boat. I couldn't even say anything. I silently prayed for them and their children and left the table. How could I be so naive? How could I just walk around that place depressed and angry, like my world was crashing down around me, when I would get to take my baby girl home???

So -- here's my question for the peeps of the world:

Have you ever had the opportunity to stay at a RMCH or volunteer there?

Please share your story with me by email or on this post.

Iron Chef: July - Kids Cook!

2009-07-08T12:26:00.003-05:00

First and foremost, I wanted to thank Heidi at Sacred and Profane for putting on this great contest! Go check it out for details. This month she's letting the kids take the wheel. DD, the 10y/o and Nisha, the 15y/o aspiring Pastry Chef, have chosen a super delicious dessert to prepare!

Here is our entry:

Banana Split Pie

1 graham cracker crust pie

1 can crushed pineapple

1 small container fresh strawberries

2 bananas

1 box prepared Jell-O pudding (Cheesecake flavor works best)

1/4 c. chopped nuts

1 container Cool-Whip

1 jar Maraschino cherries

Spread half of the Cheesecake flavor pudding about 1/4 inch thick on the graham cracker crust.

Slice both bananas into bite-sized pieces and layer on top of Jello.

Slice about 8 or 10 strawberries into bite-sized pieces and layer on tope of the bananas.

Drain the crushed pineapple and layer that on top of the strawberries (probably only need about 1/2 of the can)

Top with Cool-whip, sprinkle chopped nuts and dot with cherries.

Freeze for 30 min to an hour and serve.

The girls are making this again on Thursday evening because we snarfed down the one on Monday and I didn't get to take any pics.... so pics to follow!

School Again, School Again, Jiggity Jig

2009-07-08T08:43:00.004-05:00

I'm totally soliciting opinions here for my class, and for my own mental health to see if I'm really living in some kind of Reality TV bubble and can't tell my ass from a hole in the ground.

First, keep in mind that I'm going to school for my counseling degree... (in my best Miss America voice) "in the end I hope to save the world, one person at a time" by walking them through whatever it is that lead them to my office, punching them in the throat and telling them to exercise SOME form of common sense. Kind of like Dr. Phil but with much more profanity and finger-pointing. Believe me when I say, I will vote for myself for the Best Counselor in America award. You can take that to the bank!

Tonight is the beginning of my first class since my wonderful month and a half break. My semesters are totally different than traditional college students in that I'm in an adult studies program and we go to school constantly. There wasn't an available class in May that I wanted to take, so I got to skip 6 weeks and enroll in my next five classes starting in July. God willing, this whole going-back-to-school-in-my-30s-idea will be worth it and I'll graduate with my BS (lol I love that term) in 2 more years. Then I'm back at it for the MS... I suppose after that I'll get a real job and join the real world lol.

So anyway, last night I'm doing my required reading in Class Matters (interesting read actually) for my Social Class in America class and I sparked up a little debate with Andy. I asked him to rank his family members (because they are all close knit but seem to be vastly different) in whatever social "class" he felt which they belonged. He went down the line of his brothers and nephews, 5 families total, and put them all in a social class. (For their sake and Andy's, I will not say who was placed where. I don't want to piss any of them off; I'm not actually married-in yet and they might try to beat me up.)

It appeared to me there was no method to his madness in classifying peeps. People who weren't homeowners but have steady jobs were put in middle class, and people who owned their homes, but weren't concerned about having extra money were put in low class. I didn't get it. So I asked him the reasoning he used. Apparently, Andy thinks of social class as the availability of money and little to do with possessions or appearance. He explained further; the people in middle class have the means to take care of a financial issue if it comes up (car needs a new engine, have to call an electrician or other service technician, etc.), and the people in lower class blow their wads, have nothing to show for it, and never have any money in their bank accounts.

Social class can be broken down into a million pieces; available health care, financial stability, homeownership, area of residence, community involvement, possessions, education, etc. I think the social classifications are totally subjective, because while some of these things mean something to me, they may not mean that much to anyone else. In addition, the geographic location tends to play a big part. In Oklahoma, we don't buy condos. It seems stupid to "buy" a residence where you share walls. But in a metro of California, it's common to buy a condo. And if you are able to purchase in Cali, you are doing pretty okay -- hence the assumption of a higher social class.

To me there is much more to climbing the ladder of social class. I don't need a personal chef to be upper-middle class because I like to cook and I don't like fancy shit. I don't need a BMW sedan to be upper-middle class either, because that isn't feasible with four children. I don't do $700 blouses and if I paid $400 for a pair of Jimmy Choo's, Andy would slit my wrists for me. What I need is home ownership in a rural area within a low crime area and excellent school district, financial stability, college funds for the kids, an investment portfolio, funds available to make a moderate sized purchase without thinking I'd have to sell my soul to the devil to get, and a six figure income. There's much more but you get the point. That's how I would classify being in upper-middle class. I'm no where near there. We live comfortably, but we aren't even close to my definition of upper-middle class.

For my research paper in this class, along with the dreaded oral presentation I propose some questions:

In which social class would you put your household and why?

Would you self-describe your social class as the same, higher or lower than that of your parents while you were growing up?

Disclaimer: For your consideration and privacy, I promise not to use your real name in my research paper, however if I make it big and some fancy magazine wants to publish my work -- all proceeds go directly to me and my non-existent social status. Thank you for your time.

RTT:

2009-07-07T08:50:00.004-05:00

It's that time again! Go on over to Keely's at The UnMom, grab the button, feel up Mr. Linky and do the damn thang!

Here's how my mind is working today, randomly:

It's 8:53 and these kids are driving me bonkers. The older two are babysitting the smaller ones and apparently Monkey Boy has taken it upon himself to pay Big K back for stealing a toy by attempting to chew her arm off. So he's sitting right here, next to me, so close I could reach down and yank out all his teeth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

School starts back tomorrow and this semester (knock on wood) looks like it's going to be a piece of cake. Social Class in America is my first class... pffffft... it's gonna be a breeze. One gripe I have though is why does every class have a flippin oral presentation. That's crap. Why can't I just write my research papers like any normal person and turn the shit it. Nooooooooo, I've got to do a research paper and prepare an oral presentation, provide a hand-out for the class bulleting everything I'm going to talk about in 5 minutes and pray I don't piss my pants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I haven't heard from my sister in three days. That means the heffa is out on some damn island somewhere via a fancy damn cruiseship snorkling and diving and having Pedro the cabana boy bring her some fruity umbrella drink, basically living it up while I'm hiding out in my garage from the 6 monsters in my house. Something is definitely wrong with that picture. Wrong!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Andy's new position at work seems to be keeping him entertained. He comes home and rambles about papers or somebody didn't get their papers back or some shit and I have no clue what he's talking about. I just smile and nod. He gets really excited about it though, so it must be fun lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My laptop is a gonner. I'm pretty pissed about that. It had all my hijacked programs on it like Microsoft Office and the full version of Adobe. Now I'm screwed. I've messed with it and messed with it and I can't repair it. I'm either going to have to rely on the PCtards with the clown car to fix it or just blow the drive and start from scratch. Grrrr!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday Andy (my pedicure givin' man) wakes me up like this: "Get up and fix me my coffee!"

Say what? I get up, pee on my hands a little and then go fix his coffee right up. One cup of coffee coming right up Sir! Then before bed I mentioned how rude he was in the morning.

This morning Andy (my pedicure givin' pissy coffee drinkin man) wakes me up like this: ____________

Wait! There's nothing there. Because that asshead didn't wake me up. His response to my attitude at being woken up like some petticoat wearing broad from Outhouse on the Prairie was to NOT wake me up at all.

Does that make any sense?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't understand why our water bill keeps going down in the summer, especially since we are watering the garden 2-3 times a day now. Maybe we don't bathe enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We went grocery shopping the other day. We took 3 of the 4 kids with us (Nisha was at my friend's house); 10, 4 and 3. So Andy's got one buggy with Monkey Boy and Baby Love riding in it. I've got the other cart trying to figure out what I've got a coupon for, comparing prices, browsing. I get out my coupons for salad dressing and try to find this Spritzer shit (that we don't use) because I want to try it out (solely b/c I have a coupon for it) and there is this broad standing right in the way. She's putting like 95 bottles of ranch in her buggy and leaning over right in my way. Finally I think she's done and she only moves her cart up about 7 inches. I look at Andy and sigh. I'm about to push her down so I can get my fancy flippin Salad Spritzer when she looks up at me. Our eyes meet... and she just stares. I'm like... kinda weirded out. She reaches down into her puss-pouch thingy and pulls out, I kid you not, 3409857345 coupons, all sorted and like ones stapled together. I've never seen anyone with 47 coupons for the same thing. She offers me a coupon for Kool-aid. She says, "They've got it on sale for 12 for a $1 and you only need 10 to get $2 off a bag of sugar, and they have sugar over there for $2 so it's like you get the sugar free." "Thank you kind Coupon Bandit," I tell her as I snatch up the coupon. She's out of the way of the fancy Salad Spritzer so I move in. Then... she comes back. "You like ranch dressing?" "Why yes, Coupon Bandit, we love ranch dressing!" So she gives me another coupon for $1 off a Kraft ranch dressing, which happens to be on sale for a $1. She gives me a lesson in coupon clipping and Andy asked me if I took notes. Andy hopes one day I'll be like the Coupon Bandit and save tons of money by buying 47 ranch bottles in one day and getting them all for free... minus the $1.25 x 47 that it cost for the Sunday papers. Either way, I saved almost $20 on the grocery bill that day. Nevermind that the bill was $400.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There ya have it. My randomness for the week. Now go play along and Happy Tuesday folks!

Friend Makin Monday: BFF

2009-07-06T08:21:00.003-05:00

So I ran across this thingamajig... well actually I've seen it a million time since I've been in bloggy land and been a complete lurker. Today I decided to participate.

There is this Friend Makin' Monday post (you guessed it, every Monday) By Kasey at All That Is Good (really neat blog BTW), but I think she's on vacay so Kelli at Outside My Kitchen Window (another neat blog BTW) is hosting this week.

Here's the idea: A question is posted. You post your response on your own blog and then leave your name with Mr. Linky. That's the hard part. The easy part is you get to read as many of the responses as you want, and post a comment on at least two. The whole idea is to get to know people a little better and make some new friends. We are bloggers and we all like friends.

Ok... so today's FMM question was about your BFF... how you met, how long ago, why is this person special... blah, blah, blah. You get the point.

First, let me start by saying I don't have many friends. Not anymore. Wait. Ok, let me rephrase: Since Andy has come into my life, I have redefined most people (with his "people are investments" attitude, read about it here) as acquaintences instead of friends. So the plethora of people who previously made the friend list has dwindled down to like 3. Pathetic.

As for my BFF... that's a hard one. I have a few very close friends that I would consider BFF's for different reasons. Andy is my bestest friend, and he should be, but I'm going to keep this to someone who lives outside my own home.

Like Nikki, she's been my friend since 9th grade and we were thick as thieves back in the day. She's been there through a lot of my ups and helped me pick up the pieces when I was down. She's always there with sound advice, even when you don't ask for it, and sometimes sounds a bit judgmental. But I know Nikki, and I know that her heart is in the right place. Regardless, she's been there... with me... through it all.

Then there's Della. I've been friends with her since 8th grade. She's a trip and I love her. She and I have been through some tough times. She's always there with a loving attitude and a heart so big you can feel it. She accepts the redneck side of me and when I need to getaway... it's Della's house I run to.

And lastly, I can't forget my sissy. She's WAY older than me (I love you sissy) and I didn't like her much when we were growing up. We have different dads and she lived with her dad for as long as I can remember. I only have few early memories of my sister, but when she was an adult and married off, we became a little closer. It wasn't until I was grown with a family of my own that we became really close. She is totally like me in many ways, and completely different in others. She has a level head when I need it, will listen to me rant, back me up when I need it and calm me down when I'm a little excited. When we are together, we laugh constantly. We can talk for hours on the phone on a daily basis and then go for three weeks without talking, call and pick up right where we left off. I love my sissy and I'm so blessed to have an amazing person like her in my life. I just wish she lived closer :(

Totally Great Giveaway at Cole's

2009-07-04T11:41:00.004-05:00

Not Kohl's... but Cole the fantastic blogger at All the Small Stuff is having an amazing giveaway people!

Totally my favorite one... whoda thunk it? LOL

This Lilly Pulitzer journal is too cute right?

Real Coach wristlet baby! That's right!

(And she's got 2 others)

I love me some Strawberry bubblebath!

I must say, I'm now stalking Cole. Totally great giveaway! Go on over and sign up, and don't forget to mention my name :D

Wonderful Wednesday

2009-07-01T08:05:00.002-05:00

I suck at coming up with catchy titles. Deal with it. I've just got a quick thing to share. Andy is the greatest man in the whole wide world and I love him to pieces.

Monday I sprained my wrist somehow and it's been a little difficult getting things done around here. Not to mention the children were evil all day long and I couldn't get squat done. I was near suicidal by the time Andy got home from work. He told me not to worry about a thing and he was going to take care of it. And let me tell you... HE DID! He cleaned the kitchen, including sweeping and moping the floor, did laundry, handled the kids, fed them dinner and everything.

I felt guilty b/c after dinner the Andi K, the 4 y/o, looks up at me and says, "I like your cooking." Let me break that down for you in 4 y/o lingo: that meant she wasn't happy with being fed leftovers and wished I would have cooked something. But I promised a good dinner the next night and she was happy with that.

Then Tuesday, he's at work and tells me he is going to come home and give everyone pedicures. Say what! I have a serious foot phobia, but we got this new foot bath thingy (free on craigslist in our dumpster diving episode... read about it here). Nonetheless, I told him I'd let him touch my feet. I actually kinda doubted that he'd follow through once he got home, especially since he took care of everything the night before so I could climb down the hysterical wall of suicidality I created.

This man is so beautiful! We go to Walgreens and he tells me to pick some smelly salts for the foot tub. My eyes go straight for a complete pedicure set, which is twice as much as the salts alone, and I bat my eyes and ask, "Can I get this one? It's the whole set!" His reply, "Whatever you want." Who wouldn't love that!?!?!?! Whatever I want! Yuppers, he's a keeper. As we head up to the register he stops by the nail polish. Cute huh? He picks out a really nice pink that all the girls' toesies will adorn. When is the last time YOUR man picked out nail polish for you?

I can't wait to be Mrs. Andy!

RTT: Craigslist, Darts and Mormons

2009-06-30T09:15:00.003-05:00

Go get your button from Keely's place and play along. It seems all my thoughts are random these days so this shouldn't be too hard lol

Not too long ago, Andy made friends with the Mormons who visit house to house, ringing doorbells and offering their Lighthouse pamphlets. They know him by name and if anyone but Andy answers the door, they ask for him. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with these people in the least, and I get a kick of watching Andy squirm while he's trying to find a reason to tell them to scram. He's totally not into the whole "organized religion" scheme and avoids talk of religion at all costs. I like watching him squirm for a few minutes before I holler out his escape code, "Andy! You've got bacon burning on the stove!" I'm sure they've figured out that bacon on the stove, the kid with strep and mother-in-law on the phone are all excuses, nonetheless, Andy takes the pamphlet and wishes them a good day.

I'm addicted to Craigslist. Completely. It's hopeless. I love the feeling of a bargain, and this is almost as fun as yard sale shopping. This way I know what I'm getting, have everything arranged and just go pick it up. Sometimes they actually will meet you somewhere. When we moved into our new house, we sold half of our stuff on Craigslist and used the money to buy new stuff. Too much fun! Sunday I hollered to Andy, who was doing some light reading in the bathroom, that someone has just (and by "just" I mean only 3 minutes ago, b/c I'm a craigslist stalker) posted that the leftovers from their garage sale were all FREE and sitting by the curb. It was just down the street and around the corner from our house and they said there was a TV and VCR, some kitchen stuff, baby stuff, "and lots more". We scurried over there and looked like dumpster divers throwing everything in the back of the truck. But it was free, and even though we had to dig through boxes of someone else's junk, throwing away a lot of the stuff, we scored a small TV and VCR for the 3 and 4-y/o room, about 20 movies, 15 or so CDs, a lamp for the livingroom, and some arts and crafts stuff. FREE! I love FREE shit!

Pepsi is my friend and I will never foresake thee. Ever.

The oldest is gone all week to my friends house in the sticks and I miss her. I want her to come home so I can yell at her about how she lets her room looks like a pig sty and remind her she needs to rinse off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. :(

Oh - we also scored a wireless router in the craigslist dumpster diving escapade. How cool is that?!

Last Wednesday after dart league Andy and I decided to stick around for a tournament. There was a deaf guy sitting at a table who wanted to play, but nobody knew. I, being the uber-friendly drunk one, decided to fingerspell to him and use the little sign that I remembered. He said he wanted to play, held out his five bucks for his entry fee and we found out that they had already called teams. Well, being the pushy people we are, we ~~forced~~ asked the one running the tournament to let him in and redraw. All was good. He got a good partner (especially if you ask her) and we assured the other players that earth would continue to orbit now. We had done our good deed. Pfffffffft! That jackass decided mid-way through the tourney that he didn't want to play anymore and left his partner hanging. Being nice gets me absofuckinglutely no where!

I sprained my wrist somehow yesterday so I can't work without severe pain, however, I am able to type this long ass blog entry without a problem. Go figure. (I love you Andy and I promise I will get to work... as soon as I'm done here... honest honest)

Monday Madness

2009-06-29T09:09:00.002-05:00

Just some blurbs from me this morning... nothing special.

I've only got Baby K and Big K today, so things should be quiet enough for me to get some work done. I've got to have 2K lines a day until Sunday (end of pay period) so that our trip to Florida is filled with the knowledge that we won't come home to a house with no lights or water. I can DOOOOO it!

Summer has been filled, so far, with lots of activities. We are busy bees around here and I'm totally digging it. I do have a gripe though. Why can't I dislike Andy's ex? I mean, isn't that what is supposed to happen? The new girl isn't supposed to get along with the ex. It's just not natural. I find myself actually trying to find reasons to be pissed off at her. How stupid can I be? I should be elated that we have a great relationship, we get along and she's a great mother. I should be blessed that I don't have that added stress... and a birth mother constantly on my ass about how I treat "her" kids. I don't have those problems. I treat all the kids like they are mine all mine... I praise them, teach them, love them and beat them all the same. And I don't hear a peep out of her. Plans with the kids and schedules change all the time, which irritates me b/c I don't know which way is up on most days. But I should be ecstatic that the mother of Andy's children actually plays an active role in their lives and loves these babies to no end. I should be thanking God almighty that I can call said mom on a whim and have her hook me up with her hook up at MotoPhoto, who gives a big ass discount, so the kids will have a precious Father's day gift for Andy. Instead, I'm sitting here thinking... I don't want to like her. Stupid. She and her entire family have been nothing but nice to me. And I totally appreciate that... except that her mother and one of her sister's always want to hug me. Ack. I don't like people in general, and these people want to touch me? What gives!

Here's another gripe I have... why does my ex-husband still talk shit about me? I mean really... get over it. I talked to a friend who I lost in the divorce to my ex-husband. Really. He got the house, dogs and all my friends. Ok, I walked away from it all and didn't look back, but still, those were MY friends. Apparently he's a better party animal than I and they chose him. Whatever. Either way, I talked to my/his friend the other day and I'm not sure if she's just trying to start shit or what, but she says he still talks trash about me. Nothing nice ever comes out of his mouth about how I've raised her basically on my own for 15 years, how I've struggled as a single mom, took jobs I hated b/c I knew I could be at home with her, stayed days on end in the hospital with her each and every single year of her life until her brain surgeries, how I've never asked for child support until just last year when I finally caved and MADE him help. Never a nice word. Just what a bitch I am. And frankly, since Andy has been in the picture, I don't have anything to do with him. Andy handles it all for me. God I love that man. So why is he still talking shit? That irritates me.

One other gripe before I go on to more pleasant things. Is lap-band and/or gastric bypass the new "in thing" or what??? What happened to dieting and exercise? I mean seriously, you still have to diet and exercise after having those procedures... it's not like it's a miracle fix-all to obesity. And good God, someone needs to explain to these people that they CAN and WILL get fat again if they don't change their eating habits.... forever! Don't get me wrong... I'm not talking about the people who seriously need help, who are seriously overweight and have comorbidities compromising their health. I'm talking about the people who actually gain weight so they qualify for the surgery. People who will put on that extra 20 pounds so they are just overweight enough to get that surgery paid for. The ones who lie about having back problems and knee problems so the insurance will cover the cost, because they can't lie and say they have diabetes or hypertension. Take that effing cheeseburger out of your mouth and do some damn situps if you are so obsessed over your weight. Grrrrrrrr!

Ok. Rant over. I feel so much better.

We are planning our Florida trip and CANT WAIT! We are hitting the road near the end of July and driving straight through. The teen and tween are coming with us this year and we decided that spending 21 hours each way in the car and it costing $300 round trip was WAY better than flying all four of us out there and back for over a grand. My sister's kids will be there this year too, and we'll have the minivan with us, so everyone can fit in it while we are sightseeing and going to the beaches. Hell, that's if we can pry the kids out of the pool at the house long enough to get them in the minivan lol. I'm sure the jet ski will be enough to entice them. Then I'll be sitting in the pool drinking Corona while Andy and the girls take turns on the jet skis. Complete bliss I tell ya!

I lost custody of the garden. Andy has completely taken over. Don't get me wrong, I love it. He gets his "man time" out there, in complete solitude and quiet, watering and fidgeting with the plants. I do go out there in the evening with him while he watering to check it out, but that is "his" garden now. I remind him that it was "my" idea, but other than that, I just reap the rewards of homegrown veggies in our own back yard and listen to his plans of how he's going to make it bigger and better for next year. I.love.that.man.

Nothing else really exciting going on here. I suppose I should get some work done before I screw around so long that I've got to work this evening to catch up.

Happy Monday folks!

Here They Are!!!

2009-06-26T08:57:00.003-05:00

The pics we took at MotoPhoto for Father's Day! Aren't my babies beee-U-tiful! I wish I could say I created all of them, but they are definitely mine through-and-through with their actions and attitudes lol!

We took several other shots, but I'm too lazy to put them up lol. The one with all five of us is for Andy's new office... and the rest are mine all mine! Ok, we got some of the oldest alone to go to her daddy for his Father's Day gift... and then the rest are mine all mine! Well hell, the one with the three smallest kids goes to their mama too... and THEN the rest are mine all mine!

Holy Cow It's Been A Hot Minute

2009-06-24T07:58:00.000-05:00

Summer life has definitely taken hold of me! With four kids full-time plus the two little ones I keep during the week, I barely have time to think, let alone come up with funny stuff for my blog. I've totally neglected my bloggy world and bloggy friends.

Man o man, where did I leave off? My sister and her Dick have come and gone... another hilarious visit to jot down in the memory book of our lives.

Two weeks later we enjoyed a weekend in Noel, Missouri for the annual Chicken Coop... and outdoor steel dart tournament filled with camping, drunks and darts. Not to mention the occasional drunk streaker running through camp. This thing has been going on for almost 30 years, and Andy and I are proud to say this was our second year there, just the beginning of another Coop family. We were introduced to the Coop by our friend Chris, who has been a Coop family member since he was 17 when his father Leon took him. They are truly Coop legends and a blast to party with. Leon wasn't able to make it this year, the first one he's missed in over 17 years, but Andy kept the spirit going with Bloody Mary's every morning. He learned from the Master himself, Leon, and everyone really enjoyed them. So much so, Chris was a blithering idiot Friday morning by 9 am. The guys decided to take a bath in the river, bar of soap and all. Andy managed to make it out of the water before his balls shrunk to nothingness, but Chris on the other hand, barely made it up the bank, crawling on all fours, slobbering and laughing so hard he almost choked. I know CPR, but I sat back and laughed. Besides, he's a big ole country boy and there was no way I could drag him up the bank.

I played in my first steel tip tourney this year and I had a blast! I brought my tequila to the dart tent (looks like a huge circus tent with 30+ dart boards all lined up) and ended up playing until the wee hours. When I was put out of the tourney, Andy was still in and we didn't leave the tent until 4 am. Then we were up at 8 getting ready for the kids tournament. I'm pretty sure we were still hammered, but I don't remember much of that morning.

I also learned to "chalk" this trip. Because they are all steel boards, there are no fancy bells and whistles that tell you the score. You have to have a semi-sober person at the board with an erasable marker jotting down every mark on the white board... mind you, there are 4 guys behind you, drunk, with sharp, pointy, steel-tip darts hurling them at the board next to your head. Talk about anxiety! I turned into a completely tequila-induced state of dyslexia. Not a good thing when there is money on the line. All the guys were very nice and hollered out their numbers to me b/c for some ~~tequila~~ reason I couldn't subtract ~~tequila~~ 137 from 501 ~~tequila~~ and come up with the right answer. The lesson I learned from that was I should have never pretended to be smart while drunk... they make you chalk.

We ended the 4-day weekend on Sunday with the annual auction. Each year, the Coop families bring an item to be auctioned off and all the proceeds go to a charity. Come to find out, the charity is actually a Coop family who is in need of financial help. That gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling... and next year Andy and I plan on having something nice to donate to the auction. I think the Coop will be a tradition Andy and I will have a for a long time.

Another two weeks goes by and we are camping at Canton Lake for Father's day. This is the lake where Andy grew up. This is the lake where his grandparents lived, where his father took him and his brothers and sisters camping and fishing and hunting. This place has a million memories for him. The kids all had a blast and we enjoyed the company of Andy's brother and sister-in-law. Kye, the sister-in-law has taken me on as an apprentice to be an "expertive camp woman" and with her help, I'll be in tip-top shape before long. Andy carried the Leon Chicken Coop Bloody Mary tradition on to the family camping trip and everyone really enjoyed it. Sunday morning after we were all packed up and ready to leave, Andy took us on a tour of the lake and shared his most prized memories at the lake with the kids and I. He was totally nostalgic and it was a nice cherry on the Father's Day cake; we all got to see his face beam with pride and joy as he shared his childhood with his family. I hope we can continue the tradition and make this a sacred place for our kids, and one day they will share it with their families.

And that brings us to today! Andy started his new position on Monday. I'm so truly proud of this man. A year ago when he transferred to Headquarters, he said there was more opportunity for advancement... and boy did he find it! He's definitely moving up that corporate ladder and I couldn't be more happy for him. I think he secretly wants to be a Trooper, but I know the training is what holds him back... he doesn't want to be away from his family that long. They have strict no communication rules, and I don't think he'd be very compliant. So, to avoid that, I think he's unconsciously finding a way to reach his goals another way. Either way, I'm going to support him every step of the way. He's an amazing man and totally deserves it!

The kids and I went yesterday to have family pics made. Andy's ex-wife has a cousin who works at Moto Photo and she gave us a hella discount. No sitting fee (and there were 5 of us) plus 50% off everything I bought. Cool huh? I got 13 sheets for just over $100! The kids looked fantastic and did all their cutest cheesy smiles and poses without getting beat! I get to pick them up today after 5:30 and I can't wait! I'll have to scan them in and post them, hopefully tomorrow.

I think that about sums up the last month of our lives lol. It should be nice and quiet (HA) around here until I go back to school July 8th and we don't have anything else big planned until our end of July trip to Florida. We are driving this year and taking the two older girls with us... that should be an entertaining road trip. Then we are taking my sisters two kids home with us from Florida and keeping them for a week. So the ride back will be TWICE as fun as the trip there lol. I guess I should start looking for a luggage rack or I'm going to end up strapping kids to the roof of the minivan.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week! I'm going to try and read up on some blogs that I've been missing out on for the last month!

Oh -- update on the possible adoption: The lady isn't quite ready to give him up yet, so we are sitting that one on the back burner. She knows she's got the option of a loving family if/when she gets to that point. Thank you all for your feedback on that one, we certainly needed an outside view!

It's A Beautiful Monday Folks!

2009-06-01T07:36:00.002-05:00

I'm soaking up the sunshine! I love summer! At least this part of it anyway.

I love that I can go outside without a jacket on at 7 in the morning for my routine cappuchino run to 7-Eleven.

I love that the kids can go outside and play from morning to night to wear themselves out instead of banging their heads against the walls in the livingroom dying for something to entertain them.

I love that we can go camping and wake up to an awesome sunrise just over the waters edge, really appreciating the beauty of nature.

I love looking out to our garden and seeing our veggies growing like crazy!

I love the smell of fresh cut grass and when you can smell the folks in the neighborhood firing up their grills!

Summer rocks! And it's finally here!

And now a side note: Looking for opinions here folks. Help!

Andy brought this up to me in random conversation this weekend. A lady he went to school with had a baby about a year ago. She's got two older teenage kids who are being raised by her mother, and apparently, she's trying to find a home for this baby. She's a party-girl and just doesn't want to give up that lifestyle... even for the sake of her own children. Judgment about this lady aside, there is a kid, a baby, a 1-year-old little boy, who needs a loving family.

First instinct: I want him. I want to hug him and squeeze him and be his mama. I want to raise him in our home, treat him as our own and watch him grow to be a healthy, strong young man.

***History lesson: Andy has been neutered. We have 4 kids, combined, but we wanted another one, maybe two. We love big families. So this fall we were going to get him a reversal and hump like monkeys to create a spawn of our own.***

So anyway, we hashed it over, a lot. We decided there would be ground rules if we decided to take this boy in.

First and foremost, I need to know about this kids' father. Obviously he can't be active in the boys life, or this boy wouldn't be nearly homeless. But I certainly don't want some angry dad at my door wanting his baby back.

Next, this has to be official and permanent. I'm all for fostering, and in fact, I've been to therapeutic foster parenting classes and the whole nine. Even so, and it may sound selfish, I don't want to place this boy in our home and she gets free reign... like she just needs someone to step in and carry the financial burden of this child until she gets her shit together. I want papers signing him over to us. I don't mind if she has visitation, but there needs to be guidelines. Does that sound horrible? Andy and I would like to raise him as a mother and father, not auntie and uncle.

There are too many if-then statements right now because we don't know the details of her situation. All we know is she's actively looking for someone to take her boy. He's making some phone calls today, and I told him that I'd like to spend some time with him. Like an interview. That's the only way I can describe it. I want to see if there is a connection. I'm a sucker for kids, so I know I'll fall in love with him, but I need to see where he is, physically, mentally, emotionally.

So my question is... do you have any adoptive stories that might help us with this decision? Horror stories and success stories. We want to hear them all. We want to be as rational as we can, and we need to know legal issues as well. My heart cries out for this baby and we don't want to just snatch him up without processing what this means for our entire family.

Side note: This sounds like it's all about me, but this is really Andy and I speaking. He feels the same way I do about this and we could sure use some feedback.

Home Alone

2009-05-27T12:10:00.002-05:00

So it's Wednesday... I hope everyone was able to enjoy their holiday weekend.

First and foremost... I'd just like to say that I finished this semester with three A's and two B's. Somehow I managed to pull a B out of my art class! I'm so proud of me!

My sister and her Dick flew in from Cali on Thursday and left yesterday evening. We had such a blast! We threw a dart tournament on Friday night at my local white trailer trash bar... of course Dick took first place... but Andy got second place so we were happy. Sucks to get beat in your own bar by out of towners though. My partner for the tournie, Mango, was not on his game and I could only do so much. He's a great shot and we've gone to the top before as partners. We all have bad nights though. We were out in 2 and 2. Bleh. My sister got my best guy friend Chris for a partner. They played a while, but didn't make it to the finals. All in all it was a super fun night. Dick wow'd everyone with his skills on the dart board and my sister kept everyone entertained, as usual.

We did get to Texas to see our mom and granny on Saturday and Sunday. Before we left though, we had to stop at a doc-in-a-box clinic to get some x-rays of my Dick's arm. Somehow he hurt it the night before. We all joked and said that Andy tried to break his dart arm since he was getting spanked over and over again. Too bad he broke the wrong arm. It was a nice visit in Texas though. This is the first time our family has had the chance to meet my sissy's Dick. They really liked him, but seriously, what's not to like? Andy cooked supper on Sunday evening and shortly after we headed back home.

Monday we had a little BBQ at our house with a few close friends, went to throw some darts that evening and called it an early night.

Now they are gone and I miss my sissy :-( She's my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I don't get to see her nearly enough. She keeps me laughing the entire time we are together. We are going to Florida to their summer house in July to see them for a week though. This summer we decided to take the two oldest kids, 10 and 15, with us and drive out there. We can make it there in 20 hours and round trip gas money will cost what one plane ticket would cost. My sister will have her two youngest with her, 7 and 19, so it will be a great family vaca for all of us.

I would have pics to post, because my sissy has an awesome camera that I want soooo bad and she won't let me have it, but she left all the memory cards in Texas, and the one she had left in the camera wouldn't read on my stupid laptop. Our mama is mailing the cards to me though, instead of my sissy, because I'd never get the pictures if she mailed them directly to her. I'm still waiting on my pictures from last summer's trip to Florida.

Anyhoodle, I'm back to my normal routine again... I have one more week... hell it's already Wednesday... I only have three days counting today... of kids still in school. Then my world will be filled with 6 kids during the day, and still trying to work through it all.

This weekend we have the kids and then next weekend we are off to Missouri for the outdoor steel tip dart tournie. Can't wait!

I guess I should get back to work if I want to be able to throw darts tonight with Andy, especially since the babies are down for a nap.

Have a wonderful day bloggy peeps!

Writer's Workshop: 10 Things

2009-05-21T09:05:00.004-05:00

Join MamaKat over at Mama's Losin It for the weekly Writer's Workshop.

I chose prompt #3: List 10 things you are currently sick of

This should be easy! LOL

1) Fingerprints. I clean the sliding glass door and 10 minutes later there are million little people hand prints on it. I clean the glass storm door in front, and MY stupid self puts a forehead print on it. Give me a break, it's never been that clean before and I guess I didn't see it when I was trying to look out the front door and down the street for the mailman.

2) My art class. Which is over by the way. That class has been one disaster after another. I think I had the end of semester blues and the itch to play outside. Every assignment I was trying to finish was interrupted with either a kid screaming, an abscess tooth, a filthy house, a paper that I wrote single-spaced instead of double-spaced, a forgotten assignment, a cram session to get my 50 dang art pieces memorized (name, era and artist) or complete exhaustion and falling asleep with my face on the laptop. I woke up in a puddle of drool more than once people. Art is NOT fun!

3) People, their obsession with Adam Lambert on American Idol and not thinking Kris deserved to win. He was the dark horse and a great competitor. I wasn't thrilled with the shriekings of Adam and to be honest, he didn't need to scream EVERY DAMN THING.

4) This dang baby. Baby K is giving me the blues people. Real baby blues! She won't be more than 2 feet away from me without screaming at the top of her lungs. Occasionally, she'll be occupied with a toy, but as soon as she hears my voice or see's me walking through the house, which desperately needs some help, she's back to screaming at me to pick her up. I've tried the 10 minute thing where I let her scream... it doesn't work. I told her mama about it and she said, "You have the disease. She does that to me too!" Well, YOU gave that disease to this baby and I need you to fix it dear mother-of-the-child or I'm going to send you all to another day care. This.Is.Not.Fun!

5) The fridge not being closed. Our fridge is a piece o shit peeps. We bought it when we moved into this house from the apt and thought we got a good deal. It was in a used appliance store, big enough and already had a child lock on it. It was plugged in and cold as ice. Nice! Within a month (mind you, a day after the 30-day warranty period) the door stopped shutting all the way and you have to physically put your body on it to close it, secure the child lock, and pray it doesn't crack open in the middle of the night. The kids don't get this. And the child lock sucks because the 3-year-old has managed to crack the combination and graze through the fridge whenever he so chooses. Stupid fridge.

6) My sick body. For some reason, April and May have been a real challenge for me to stay healthy. I'm down for 3 weeks with a horrible upper respiratory infection, and I think I'm finally over the coughing fit ritual every morning as of today. Then my wrists start acting up. Then I've got an abscess tooth from hell. My back hurts... I think it's all the sweeping. I should not be forced to pick up another broom for the rest of my life, if you ask me. I think my body is telling me to go to Tahiti and take a nice long break, be handed drink after drink by a hot cabana boy named Pedro, and sit by the beach all day long under a fancy umbrella -- where children aren't allowed.

7) Work. I don't think I should have to work. It sucks. At the end of last year things were great... I was minding my own business, making good money and working from home. Right after Christmas we lost a multimillion dollar account and I'm on part-time status. I work when I want, but there really isn't enough work to go full-time. Then, out of nowhere BAM! The doctors are dictating like madmen and my boss flips out, emailing me that I need to be pulling more work. I'm juggling a full load at school, 2 kids during the day plus our 2 kids that aren't in school yet, getting the house prepared for my sister and her Dick to come stay for the weekend... and now I'm supposed to stop everything and work full-time again. Make up my damn mind!

8) Not having enough money when I want it. I know, I know, I'll be working more now and the money will start flowing in again. Andy makes good money folks, and he does a great job supporting our family of 6. I just don't like the feeling that if I want to go out and have a few drinks and throw some darts that I'm on a budget. Or if I want to take the kids to the movies or run away for the weekend, I've got to do my guzintaz (goes-into's, Beverly Hillbillies duh) to make sure there is enough left over to pay the damn water bill. Running water and flushing toilets are over-rated.

9) Getting everyone else's mail. Since we've moved here it's been a fiasco with the USPS. With the change of address that Andy filled out from his former address the USPS apparently felt it was prudent to move their HOUSEHOLD instead of the INDIVIDUAL mail. Plus, the mail from the apartment I was in for 5 years, where my mother also was for a period of time, now has sent her mail FROM TEXAS (don't ask) to our new address. She's a mail shopper, so I'm getting an influx of stupid old lady clothes magazines, and even shipped super big mama bra's that should be going to HER HOUSE.... IN TEXAS! Mind you, Andy loves the fact that we get his nephews ESPN and other sport mags sent to our house. He uses them for bathroom reading prior to sending them to their intended owner.

10) Aunt Flow. (Pardon my raging PMS moment) It seems that EVERY time we plan a road trip I'm on the rag. Check this... we are going to Texas this weekend. Two weeks later we are headed to an outdoor dart tournament with lots of drunks and camping. There is an entire spread of time between these trips that I could rag. No. Doesn't happen. Yesterday, Mother Nature rears her ugly head and today Aunt Flow and I are close, real close. So my hot, steamy, fancy nighty slam-me-against-the-wall-and-take-me-Daddy hotel room adventures with Andy in Texas will be postponed. I hate you Mother Nature. I hate you with a passion. On a positive note, at least I won't be bleeding like a stuck pig while I'm camping. Tent sex is great too; except for the rocks, sand, dirty, stinky sweat (completely different from normal bedroom gettin-it-on kind of sweat) and the balancing act to keep from rolling off the air mattress.

There you have it. My 10 things I'm sick of. Piece of cake. I'm off to finish cleaning up this house and comply with my boss' orders to crank out some work (pffft), all while ignoring 4 kids, unless of course there's blood or a bone that appears to be out of place.

Have a great day folks... and enjoy your weekend!

Ever Been Attacked by a Lauper Hobbit?

2009-05-19T09:30:00.004-05:00

I have. Mix this:
With this:

And you get the broad that attacked me Friday night at the $500 dart tourney.

Shall I start from the beginning?

Let me give you a visual of this bar first. White trailer trash bar with a bunch of redneck men, most of whom are married. Most of these folks are tight-knit and have been coming here for years. This is a second home, and they are protective of their family. It's a Friday night, so that means the dart players are there, and they are in a category all to themselves. There is also karaoke -- drunk karaoke. It's a mess of things going on every Friday night. And occasionally, we get the young crowd that tries to run up in this hole in the wall dive and take things over. They are louder, more obnoxious and hormonal. The drinks are STRONG and CHEAP, so these morons are getting smashed without even knowing it and, 9 times out of 10, end up making complete asses of themselves.

Case in point: Lauper Hobbit vs. Spider Monkey

I'm teamed up with a dude named George. It's a blind draw tournament, so you never know who your partner is going to be, except if you are a female, you know you get a male partner. More men play than females, so there ends up being mostly male/female teams with a few male/male teams.

Anyway... George and I are playing on board 1. This is the dart board that is closest to the pool tables, and another section of the bar. These people, the new ones who don't know dart etiquette (there are rules people!), seem to want to walk up close and personal to those of us throwing for a $500 pot, instead of going around to the other side of the bar. I'm at the line, getting ready to throw and this Lauper Hobbit comes up close enough to stop me from throwing as she is trying to get around to the bar. I stop, take a step back and say, "Can't these people see we are THROWING!"

Lauper Hobbit's first mistake was the stop, look at me and say, "What did you just say?"

At 5'5" I'm no giant, but I had to look down at Lauper Hobbit and tell her politely (hahahaha) that she should go around to the other side to get to the bar because we are in a tournament and she was being rude.

She, obviously in a drunken state of mind, didn't know she was messing with Spider Monkey (a loving nickname given to me by my best guy friend Chris many moons ago when I jumped on the hood of a guys car, after whipping his ass, to again, politely, tell him he wasn't wanted at this bar).

Anyhoo - someone steps in the middle of us and then a friend of hers comes to her side and drags her off to the pool table area again, profusely apologizing drunk Lauper Hobbit's intrusion.

All is good. I'm throwing my darts, having a good time and didn't think twice about the little drunk person.

George is up at the line and I'm leaning on one of the pool tables waiting for my turn. Mind you, this is a double elimination tournament, and we've already lost one match. If we lose this match, we are out of the tournament. WAY too early in the night for me to be out!

Lauper Hobbit's second and final mistake: She comes right up to my face... ok, she's really eye level with my boobs... looks up to me and says "Excuse me" in a sassy tone. I wave for her to move to the side. There's plenty of room to my right for her to get her little body around me and scram. Apparently she didn't think that was a good enough idea. She stands there. Looking up at me. Blood red eyes, jet black dyed hair, a ton of makeup and some fancy getup that only Cyndi Lauper herself would actually look good wearing.

"Go around." I say, without giving her much satisfaction, and look over her head at the dart board.

"What if I don't want to?" she chimes in, like a smartass teenager. This biotch is obviously looking for a fight. Her fists are clenched, jaw is jutted out and she's ready for some action. Stupid girl.

"Well, then you can go that way, " I tell her as I push her backward and out of my face. Now, she's not much taller than my 10-year-old, so I know not to use full force or she'd end up clear across the bar.

This chick goes crazy. She gets knocked back a couple of feet from me pushing her and then she's like a midget-bull in a China shop. I think I could actually see smoke coming from her nostrils and digging her feet into the tile as she literally started charging for me. DONK! I punch her in the face (it was more like she ran into my fist though, after all, she was charging at me) one good time before Phillip (a 50-something previous owner of the bar, husband to the bartender that night and friend of mine), grabs a hold of the mighty midget and begins to wrestle her to the ground. Her arms are flying everywhere! She's desperately reaching for me! So I reach out to her, and tag her again in the head. I may have gotten one more punch in before Phillip flattens her little body on the ground.

Next thing I know, she's out the door. After all is said and done I see Andy wearing a shit-eatin grin when he tells me, "I knew she was fixing to get tagged when she stepped up to you like that. I just sat back and watched."

White Trailer Trash/Redneck Bar Fight Scoreboard for May 8, 2009

Spider Monkey: 1

Lauper Hobbit: 0

Ok ok, I know. Some may say I'm too old to be punching broads in the head. Other may say I'm too old for bar fights. Not to mention I'm a mommy. But yanno what, I'm also a person. A person that doesn't take shit. Real talk. And I'll be damned if I'm going to get hit first. It's just a rule I have. I especially don't like getting hit in the face. That broad was definitely going to pull something, I just beat her to the "punch".

Quick Update - I'm Alive

2009-05-17T22:52:00.004-05:00

So I haven't posted in over a week.

Admittedly, I took a mental hiatus at first, simply because everything that was happening in my life, my mind immediately went to the thought of how I could turn that into a blog. Blah. I couldn't have a moment without obsessing over blogging. So I started out taking just a couple days off bloggyland and was going to come back and post something sappy for Mommy's Day. Didn't make it.

By Monday morning I realized I had a crapload of homework for my Wednesday Intro to Art class to get done. So I spent the next three days working on that. I was the hero in class because I gave all the students a link to my flashcards online that I created. They are all instructed to bring me Starbucks next Wednesday.

Thursday... I have no idea what I did.

By Friday I had a toothache so bad I went to the ER. I type these reports, as a transcriptionist, and actually made fun of folks who went to the ER for dental pain. Seems like only drug seekers would do such a thing. Certainly not moi! Well, by Friday evening, when my face looked like I had a golf ball stuck in my cheek and I thought childbirth was a piece of cake compared to this type of pain, I reluctantly decided to check out the scenery at my local ER. The doctor who saw me (a doctor that I've typed many a ER report for, and his face looked nothing like his voice) said there was nothing he could drain, but sent me home with a nice supply of pain medication and an antibiotic. Since that moment I've been in a drug-induced coma.

Anyhoodle - I'm alive and well again...

But...

My Wednesday class, the last one for the semester (YAY!) is approaching again and I've got to get a powerpoint presentation together and study for my final. Then Thursday my sissy will be here from Cali with her Dick. We are going to Texas for the weekend to hang out with our mom and gma in Mayberry, a dinky town with a plethora of old folks and only one bar, which you have to be a member of to enter. Believe me when I type... I'm a cardholding member. We'll be back in OKC Sunday evening for a dart tourney, BBQ at my house on Monday for Memorial Day, and then my sissy and her Dick leave Tuesday.

So I probably won't be around much until next week. Looking forward to getting caught up on blogs and stalking blogs again. Until then...

Happy Friday! Darts, anyone?

2009-05-08T17:00:00.003-05:00

Happy Friday bloggyland peeps! And happy early Mother's Day.

Andy and I will be partying at the trailer trash bar tonight and throwing darts. Another $500 tourney! Woot woot! So basically, we will pay $10 each to enter, $1 each for the mystery out, who the hell knows how much we'll spend on alcohol, and then we'll pray we get a partner that can hang in there til the end. By the time it's over with, we'll have spent well over $100 and the prize money, IF one of us hits first place, is just over $100 per person. I rarely win, mostly because my drunk darts don't hit exactly where I need them to, but Andy usually stays in there for the long-haul and brings home at least some of the bacon. Plus we really need to practice. My sissy and her Dick (big dart nerds who win lots of money all the damn time) and we can't let them put us to shame. We.just.cant!

I'm brain dead today... so I'm going to steal a post from Ruggy and use it here. Feel free to play along.

I Am: desperate for a friggin beer!

I Want: to win the big money tonight!

I Have: limited dart skills after I hit the alcohol plateau.

I Wish: my sissy was already here.

I Fear: flying stingin things!

I Search: for anything and everything on Google. Such a Google-whore.

I Regret: not finishing my education way earlier in life. Studying is for the birds!

I Love: my precious family. They make me so happy!

I Always: wait until the last minute to get everything done.

I Usually: karaoke when I'm drunk.

I Am Not: as young as I used to be. I looked at my face in the mirror last night, while attempting to pluck eyebrows and nearly pinched my eyelid completely off, and realized that my face looks old. Ick.

I Dance: naked in the house when nobody is here.

I Sing: all the time!

I Never: have enough time or money.

I Rarely: finish my homework more than an hour before class.

I Cry: every single flippin time I watch Extreme Home Makeover. Ugh!

I Am Not Always: a leader. Sometimes I like to take the backseat and just ride (figuratively speaking of course, I never like to actually sit in the backseat and ride).

American Idol and Andy's Philosophy

2009-05-06T07:38:00.002-05:00

Two things today. They aren't connected. He doesn't have a philosophy on American Idol, other than thinking Adam really didn't make it into the bottom three last week and that stunt was just pulled for ratings. Pffft, he did so. I saw him. In the bottom three. With my own eyes! And that leaves Danny as the only one who hasn't been in the bottom three, at least until tonight.

American Idol recap -

I liked the duet thingy they did last night. But does that mean that AI just can't find any musical rock celebrities to perform that they have to make the contestants do duets? In any event, I was passed out on the couch when I heard Adam screaming his song and woke up. I caught the tail end of it. I'm sure it was amazing and the world ooh'd and ahh'd over his performance, but I'm still not going to go back and watch it. I get it. He's good. He's fantastic. He's a natural.

Allison. Poor Allison. I thought she was really going to rock the house last night. Joplin is definitely the artist choice for her, but the song choice wasn't hot. I still love her and I think she has come so very far in her time on AI. Raw talent. And I love that her new hair seems to have given her more confidence.

Kris. I love that face distortion he makes when he sings, his jaw moved completely over to the right side of his face. I'm so glad he got it back. I think Danny or someone really made fun of him for doing that, but it's his trademark, just like Adam wears more makeup than all the women in my family combined... it's him. It's what he does. I don't think he did so hot last night and he'll probably be the one going home tonight. But I adore that sexy, sweet face of his, that great voice of his and I know he'll do great things with his career.

Danny. I heart him. He's got that gruff sexy voice that gives me chills when he sings. That last note wasn't a great one, but I think the duet with him and Kris will keep him in the game. Guess we'll find out if going outside the box helped him or put him out of the game tonight.

As a side note... last week when Danny and Allison had their little food fight... am I the only one who thought they were really friendly? Maybe I just have a sick and twisted mind, but Danny has got to be super lonely, still mourning the death of his wife, and Allison, a hot girl with a mad voice, and the ONLY female in that house??? I realize she's only 17 and he's a grown man, but c'mon, there was something more than just a food fight going on there.

Now for Andy's Philosophy... I'm getting a bit serious here. Watch out.

I mentioned Andy's idea that most people are bad investments here, and therefore he cannot be friends with them. That was a bit harsh so I thought I'd ellaborate on this philosophy of his.

Andy thinks of people/potential friends as investments, in a very analytical type of way. He thinks that if a potential friend sucks more life out of you than they give you, they are bad investments. He believes that if people bring drama to your life, they aren't worthy of your friendship. It's very cut and dry here. If he meet someone who seems nice on the outside, but their life is in turmoil and all they do is "need", he will not waste his precious time on them. Don't get me wrong, he won't be disrespectful or tell that person what a loser they are (unless they ask for his advice and then certainly he will be very blunt); he just won't allow that person in his circle. Think about it. You invest time, money and emotional ties with friends. If they don't reciprocate in a positive manner, and your initial investment is used up with nothing to show for it, how can they be deemed a good investment?

My philosophy on friends is way different. I have friends from all walks of life. I'm not a people person really, but I find life interesting, and everyone has their ups and downs. I wasn't going to judge these people because their lives were different than mine, and they didn't judge me. I was the "mama" figure to most of them and when something horrible would happen they would flock to my door. I thought I needed them as much as they needed me. Then Andy came along and showed me exactly how some of these people were sucking the life out of me and I was allowing them to hold me back. I was constantly surrounded by gossip and who is doing what and with whom, so much so that I was forgetting all about the greatness my own life could hold.

Andy's philosophy started to make sense to me, but I wasn't ready to fully commit to that idea.

One particular friend of mine hit rock bottom and needed a place to stay. To sum it up, she was a very close friend, I offered our home without speaking to Andy first, he just warned me that this decision would bite me in the ass. It did. Hard. She once was very productive and had all her ducks in a row. I just thought she just needed someone to believe in her... no job, no car, no place to stay, completely boy crazy, and very few friends who would put up with her. I, being the rescuer and humanitarian, thought I could fix her. At first, it was working out fine. I was training her to do transcription, she was helping me with the kids during the day, sending out resumes and going on job interviews. Then she broke the rules. She went to darts one night, in my car, and by the time Andy got up for work the next morning, my car wasn't home. This turned into a huge fiasco. Andy called a friend (at 5:30 am) who called another friend who tracked her down. By 6:30 we found out she apparently drank too much and in her hormonal, drunken, needy, state of mind she went over to a dude's house and stayed the night. I tripped out on her. Not only was my man, the one who is paying the bills in the house that she is currently living in, late for work, but she had the carseats for Monkey Boy and Baby Love in my car. Needless to say, I was livid. Forced to keep my cool because the kids were there, I ushered my friend in the house and sent my man and the kids on their way, 30 minutes late.

In my life prior to Andy, I would have just thanked my lucky stars that she didn't drive my car while drunk and that she was okay. I never would have seen the predicament that she caused for my family. I would have been pissed, but I would have calmed down much faster and been able to deal with her. This time her stunt was different. And believe me, there have been some stupid stunts in the past, but nothing of this magnitude that directly involved me.

I had to put my big girl panties on and make a decision. Andy said he would handle it for me and talk to my friend (and by talk he meant put her out). As much as I wanted him to be the bad guy in this one, I decided it was my responsibility since I was the one who offered her a place to stay. I sat her down and told her... "Bottom line, you've got to find somewhere else to live." She cried, apologized, cried some more and asked, "Will you still be my friend?" Of course I would. I didn't hate her. I just knew, at that moment, she was a bad investment.

I love this girl. We have been there for each other through thick and thin for years now, and it's hard to distance yourself from people you care about. But Andy is right. He's got his head on straight about investments and friends. When they begin to cause turmoil in your backyard, it's time to cut the ties. It took me a while to wrap my head around this philosophy of his, but after I did, I was amazed at how drama-free, calm and happy my life was turning out to be. I pushed this friend out of my backyard and handed her off to her family. I still love her very much. She hit rock bottom shortly after that incident and has since started rebuilding her life. She's got a long road ahead of her, but I'm so proud of her. We talk, occasionally. We see each other, occasionally. But I definitely am still guarded regarding how close I can be to her.

People are all different. But ultimately, we are the ones who make the final decisions on who and what we allow in our lives, how close we allow them to get, and how much control of our lives we allow them to have. I was never really surrounded by a close family growing up. My family caused pain, therefore, my needs for connection with people were filled with friends, pre-Andy. Now, my need to be needed is filled by Andy and the kids. My family needs me. And my friends/associates/investments are kept at a safe distance. I still make time for my friends, love and cherish them all, but they definitely take a back burner to my family now. It's a great feeling.

RTT: Sims 2, One Missed Call & Projectile Vomit

2009-05-05T07:49:00.007-05:00

Random Tuesday Thoughts - yanno, this is my favorite part of the week, as far as blogging goes. I get to ramble on about nothing really, and people pretend (my fantastic 23 followers) to show interest... And some even comment! It does wonders for the stuckinthehousealldayandallnight EGO and I'm perfectly comfortable rambling. It's a "forte" of mine. (Gettin all fancy on ya, bet you didn't see that one coming!)

I'm going to admit that I've been keeping a RTT note pad. Ok, it's not really a notepad per say, but I do scribble notes and jot down thoughts on the back of an envelope. Hell, I have a slew of blog envelopes, one for each day of the week. I've decided to pick a new bill for each day of each week to draw all over and scribble on. Makes me feel better about paying the bill that's inside in some sort of way. Plus, this way I've always got fresh ideas. These are pretty much in chronological order, as they really happened, because you won't find any lies and false shit here folks. Because that's.how.I.roll.

Last week Andy, feeling sorry for me because I couldn't seem to get rid of that hacking, nagging cough, brought me home a surprise. Colloidal Silver Classic. He tells me to take a teaspoon of this liquid metal and put it under my tongue for 1 minute, then swallow. I'm not sure if it was mind over matter or what, but the next morning I felt FANTASTIC! I was even in a good mood, and mornings and I usually don't get along very well. Andy of course thought it would be a neat experiment... I would have to bow down to his feet because HE brought me the two week long lougie-hacking remedy, not to mention he thought I'd be shittin' nickles. He only wanted his initial $21 investment back for the tiny 4 oz bottle. I completely understand.

I'm back to work right? Kinda. Well, I'm part-time, mostly because the great doctors at one of our local ER's (the one where I once made sooooo much money it hurt people's feelings) figured out that instead of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on a transcription service, they could just invest in a point-and-click piece of shit software and completely ruin my life. So now I'm stuck doing stupid discharge summaries and transplant institute reports. Bleh! Anyway... I got my first paycheck since I had been back and it was a measly $200. WTF man! I think I got ripped off or something. Surely the account lady screwed up. Surely.

Andy occasionally looks at my blog at work, on lunch of course, because he wouldn't want folks to think that their hard earned tax dollars are going to a plethora of bookmarked pages for his enjoyment. He looked at one entry I made last week and tried to be sneaky and comment. Bahahahahahaha, it didn't take because he is not a blogger. I told him you have to have special woman powers and go through an excruciatingly painful interview by a panel of Xanax-free, hormonal women to be able to post. Then I added him as an author to this blog. Warning: Watch out for random Andy thoughts. He might sneak in here.

This weekend, I think it was Sunday evening, Andy and I were sitting in front of the boob tube and watched One Missed Call. It's supposed to be a scary movie, but it's pretty stupid. Basically, someone dies and right after they die, a "contact" of theirs from their cell phone is called from a future date and leaves a scary message, indicating their death is next. Right in the middle of the movie, and the futuristic death calls, my cell phone goes off. It's a text. Needless to say, we were a bit freaked out. AND it just happens to be one of my life long best friends, who Andy isn't that fond of. I should be dead by 7 pm today, according to the storyline.

I'm not sure if many of you are "blended families" or not. Yanno, step kids kind of blended. We are. And every time the oldest, my bio kid, the 15 y/o, goes to her dad's for the weekend and I have to endure the 2-hour long convo about how she hates her step-mom upon her return. She doesn't really hate her. She just listens to her older sisters over there bitch about her, so naturally, she thinks the step-mom is evil. I try to even the playing field and stand up for the step-mom, even though I'm secretly laughing inside... because I'm better... at everything... but for the sake of argument (with bio-dad) and respect for their household (pfffft, as if), I do what I can. One thing I'm particularly happy about is that she (the step-mom) can't cook. The 15y/o, Nisha, hates her step-mom's cooking. I love it when she comes home and tells me how horrible her food is. But this weekend was different. Nisha comes home and tells me she had the most fantastic salad ever. "It was the best salad of my life mama!" Ex-ca-use ME! Biting back my sharp tongue and cynical look, I listened and smiled. "She puts strawberries in her salads mama!" Whatever. Sounds gross to me. And my salads are WAY BETTER!

I'm completely addicted to Sims 2. If you don't know anything about it, don't look it up. It's dangerous. I played that game from 2 pm yesterday until 2 am. TWELVE FREAKIN HOURS! I declared it a left-over night and never stepped away from the laptop screen (except for the 30 second bathroom trips). In any event, I managed to virtually kill Andy and I (because I created us as characters). We started out with no kids, he knocked me up twice and we raised them. Then all of a sudden, out of no where, I can't get us to get out of bed. We aren't doing naughty things in there either. Sickos! We are just sleeping. And we can't get up. Nothing I click on works. I think my Sim actually pee'd the bed. I killed us. So then Nisha wanted to play and I helped her create a Sim. Because she's just a beginner, she did it all wrong, and now all her Sim wants to do is make babies. Ack! I'm teaching the kid, the hormonal teenager, how to MAKE BABIES! Anyway... at 2 am, everyone in our REAL house is asleep (at least I thought they were) Andy comes down the hall, takes one look at me all snuggled up on the couch, eyes beet red and plastered to that screen and says, "Ok, you are officially a loser." Sims 3 comes out in June. I need rehab.

And finally, yanno how when a kid pukes sometimes it just flies out of their mouth and ends up 4 feet away. I always wondered how that happened. Like, what mechanism in their throat and mouth causes them to shoot puke that far away. I was awestruck. Until today. I'm minding my own business in the kitchen, getting Big K some apple juice, and having a normal morning. I have another one of those damn coughing fits and all of a sudden, out of flipping no where, I hurl! And not just puke a little bit in my mouth kind of hurl, where I can cover my mouth and charge to the bathroom toilet before spewing. This was pro-jec-tile! I turned my head just in time for the monsoon of Pepsi to come rushing out of my throat! It hit the back of my top teeth, which somehow guided it right into the kitchen trash can. It was like when you turn on the faucet and magically a steady flow of water comes flying out. Let me tell you, there is no wretching and body curling like with normal puke. This was just a steady, even flow of regurg-Pepsi. Like at the fountain drink station at 7-Eleven. Totally gross. All I could do was stand there for a few seconds to process. I.just.puked.a.tsunami. Then of course I took out the trash and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Yuck! On the positive side, there was no acid taste, like something was eating the enamel right off my teeth.

Ok, your turn. Go on over to Keely's at The UnMom, snag the button, hook up with Mr. Linky and post your RTT. I'll be back later to make sure you have done it.

And NO... I'm not going to play Sims. I'm doing homework. Nosey.

Husband Meme

2009-05-04T09:53:00.003-05:00

I jacked this from The Mom Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy who jacked it from Georgie at Decisionally Challenged (currently on hiatus, boooo!)

In an effort to try and keep this one short, I've included both mine and Andy's answers together. I emailed him at work and we answered them at the same time.

**Being that we aren't married YET, I've changed the term "husband" to reflect his name. (Don't be offended honey, because I know you stalk my blog during lunch at work, I can't wait to refer to you as my husband.)

1. What is something your ~~husband~~ Andy always says to you?

me: I love you

Andy: I love you

2. What makes your ~~husband~~ Andy happy?

Me: Spending time with the kids, camping, hunting, fishing, anything outdoors. And when we wrestle. That always makes him happy. And he's not afraid to cuddle afterward. Be jealous ladies. Be.Very.Jealous.

Andy: Spending time with family/outdoors

3. What makes your ~~husband~~ Andy sad?

Me: Duh! When I'm not happy. He's truly a worry wart. And I tend to make everyone else around me miserable when I'm not happy. It's a right that every woman gets, don't you think? We bleed like stuck pigs once a month and have to "plug" our innerds, push 10-lb watermelons from our loins and then get the pleasure of making sure their every need is taken care of for 18+ years. It's a God given right that we can make other people miserable!

Andy: when Denise is not happy

4. What was your ~~husband~~ Andy like as a teen?

Me: Pffft, his mama and baby sisters tell me what a whore he was, but I wasn't there. I'm sure he'll say he was athletic or really nice or something.

Andy: Way out going young man

5. How old is your ~~husband~~ Andy ?

Me: 33 - a year and a half younger than me. And he tells me about it on an almost daily basis.

Andy: 33

6. How tall is your ~~husband~~ Andy ?

Me: 6 foot, and he loves it that I have to look UP to him, even when I'm on my tippy-toes.

Andy: 6 foot

7. What is his favorite thing to do?

Me: All out-doorsy crap AND "wrestling". He loves to wrestle.

Andy: Hunting/fishing, playing softball

8. What does your ~~hubby~~ Andy do when you're not around?

Me: He's like a little lost puppy when I'm not there. Wandering around aimlessly, cleaning things, doing laundry... pffffffffffffft or has his head so far up ESPN that he doesn't even realize I'm gone.

Andy: wonders when Denise will get home/cleans

9. If your ~~husband~~ Andy becomes famous, what will it be for?

Me: He thinks he's funny, so I'm sure he's thinking comedian, but he'd really be famous for his cooking or sewing ability, like Martha Stewart, or being in some political office making laws and forcing people to obey ~~him~~ them.

Andy: Comic or business man

10. What is your ~~husband~~ Andy really good at?

Me: "Wrestling". That's code for um... you know... gettin' busy, doin the humpty dance, gettin your freak on, makin' whoopie, gettin' laid -- need I go on?

Andy: ask Denise she'll tell you :)

11. What is your ~~husband~~ Andy not very good at?

Me: Being nice to strangers/random bar people/people who touch him inadvertently. He also doesn't like doing things with friends. He's got this idea that most people are bad investments, therefore they cannot be friends. I'll have to ellaborate on that one later.

Andy: staying calm or quiet when I have had one too many

12. What does your ~~husband~~ Andy do for a job?

Me: Um, he does something for the State and gets a really nice check and really good benefits and just got a promo where he gets his own office to do something secretive and fight fraud and identity theft, I think. That's all I know.

Andy: State Job (I love how he gets all wordy and technical LOL)

13. What is your ~~husband~~ Andy's favorite food?

Me: Raw red meat. Steaks that are still moo'ing. Yuck!

Andy: Steak or Denise's spaghetti

14. What makes you proud of your ~~husband~~ Andy?

Me: He's a great father, role model, husband-to-be, great morals and values... just an all around fantastic guy!

Andy: The way I handle situations

15. If your ~~husband~~ Andy were a cartoon character, who would he be?

Me: He's my Superman. He's faster than a speeding bullet and ALWAYS there when I need him. He could lift a car with a pinky if it meant saving me or the kids from being hurt. Superman IS a cartoon character right? Ok, maybe a little like Papa Smurf too. He's got an old soul and always seems much more wise than most people I know, calm, secure, and people flock to him for advice... and actually listen to what he says.

Andy: Hercules there's nothing I can't handle

Hi! I'm Denise, the Grocery Store Grump!

2009-05-01T13:27:00.004-05:00

**Disclaimer - this post is long as hell, but in my defense, I'm only trying to avoid putting away the groceries. Surely you can feel my pain. But it's funny too, I mean if you have kids, you'll completely understand my new found desire to hire a babysitter for me, the babysitter, while I'm at the grocery store.

Hi! I'm Denise, the Grocery Store Grump!

Yanno, grocery shopping isn't hard when it's just Andy and me. We usually end up getting stalked by some random old lady because were are just.that.damn.cute.

Taking the Baby K and Big K to the grocery store is a completely different story. Baby K throws a 10-minute fit when I place her in the front of the buggy, squirming, kicking, screaming and even producing real tears. Big K wanders off everywhere and I'm chasing her, constantly reminding her that her hand needs to be on the buggy at all times.

Then there's the endless conversation all the way through the store:

"Denise, do we have these at home? What are these? Can we borrow these? Buy, I mean buy, can we buy these. I want salad. Do we have salad at home? You said I get Dora fruity snacks. Where are the Dora fruity snacks? Did you remember we don't have any chocolate milk too? I like chocolate milk. And Dora fruity snacks. What's this? Can I have a plastic bag? I like plastic bags. Can we put meat in the plastic bag again? I like putting meat in there. That's fun. I like pickles too but I don't like pickles. Can we borrow some pickles? I mean, buy. Denise, when do we get to go to McDonald's? You said we could go to McDonald's and get chicken nuggets and french fries at McDonald's when we were done. Denise, will my mom be here in 2 minutes? What are these? Can we borrow... er, buy these? I want some yogret too. I like yogret, but only the Dora kind. I don't like that other kind like we had last time. Look at that little gril. She's got shoes like me. We both have little gril shoes. Not boy shoes. Boys eat bugs. Isn't that right Denise? Boys eat bugs and girls eat candy, right? Can I have some candy Denise? And some Dora fruity snacks?"

Finally, we get to the checkout, after of course the world has oooh'd and ahhh'd the precious kids I've ventured into the public world with. I'm always asked "oh how precious, how old are they?" and I usually respond with a blank look and "I don't know, they aren't mine," which causes all kinds of stares and maybe even secret phone calls the local police department. I've learned that it's much easier to say, "10 months and 3" and continue pushing my buggy.

I realize a lot of moms out there might like to stop and gab to complete strangers about how the growing process is just moving right along, how Sally Jane has pushed 2 new pearly whites through her gums and how Nancy June is the smartest kid in the universe...

But there are also those of us in there, *a-hem* ME, rushing through the store tossing things in the buggy because I've only got a 2 hour window before the precious teething 10 month old, cranky Baby K, is going to blow me a big, fat, runny, mud-kiss through her diaper and the smell isn't going to be pleasant for ANYONE. I've also only got one shred of patience left for Big K, the 3 year old, who is driving me up the wall touching everything in the store, trying to sneak stuff in the buggy, and standing in the middle of each and every aisle trying to poke a hole in the damn plastic bag she got from the produce section, all the while blocking traffic of the other shoppers who desperately want to get by her as fast as they can because someone else is going to beat them to the 2/$1 sale on canned green beans.

Of course I've got to have help getting out to the car because now I've got two buggies filled with groceries (I've never understood how I start with one and after it's bagged it takes up TWO) and two kids in tow. Do they send me out with some young, energetic kid? Hell to the nawl! They send me out with this 90-year-old, broke down, slow as molasses man saying "Lead the way" and I'm just thinking, "Yeah, try and keep up with me gramps!" He was super nice, but slowwwwww! C'mon skipper... any minute now Baby K's butt will explode and I do not want to smell that all the way home!

And woah, the race against time doesn't stop there folks. Then we've got to get to McDamnDonald's and beat the lunch rush to get that kids meal with blazing hot french fries so I've got to hear Big K yapping all the way home about how she really likes fries and they are really too hot and she likes chicken nuggets too but they are probably hot too and did you get me a drink Denise? because I'm super thirsty and I want chocolate milk did you get me chocolate milk from McDonald's? My mama does. Are the fries cooled off yet because I'm super hungry Denise...

We get home. I get the kids out of the car, sit Big K down on the couch with her happy meal b/c I'm going to need the entire kitchen table and all the counters for the shitload of groceries I just bought, get the baby changed, get the groceries in the house, sit down to feed the screaming baby her lunch, plug her with a bottle, set her in the playpen, move my quarter pounder and drink to the quad room where I think I'm going to get to enjoy it, far, far away from the kids... when Big K insists we listen to this stupid CD that was the "toy" in the happy meal.

We listen to the entire CD twice, singing along and dancing in the livingroom, I get her laid down for naptime and go back to the quad room with my food only to realize I'm too pooped to even eat. I want a nap. I don't even care that the fish sticks are melting away and the hamburger meat is probably bleeding through the paper sack. I just want to lay down and pass out. Like a power nap. Yanno, the 20 minute kind where you get up feeling all refreshed and ready to tackle the world again?

And I'm just the babysitter folks! I'll ship these guys off with their mommy at 530ish only to receive 4 more when Andy gets home... and the saga continues.

Even through the exhaustion and the serious lack of patience being one of my virtues, these napless, teething, screaming, kicking, yelling, ankle biting little people are the bestest in the whole wide world. And our four, ranging from 3 to 15, are my pride and joy! I love them with all my heart and soul, and wouldn't trade lives with anyone even if I could.

I'm off to put away the mini-grocery store in my kitchen and hopefully get 20 minutes of power-nap before they scream again. Happy Friday!

Friday High Five

2009-05-01T08:27:00.003-05:00

Happy Friday folks! It's early and I've got a big to-do list again, mostly because I suck and didn't get yesterdays list done, but I'm determined to get started early today. Here are the five things on my mind at this very moment:

Sims 2. So I'm minding my own business last night, playing Sims. I've created Andy and I with no kids. Neither one of us have jobs and we are independently wealthy (mostly because I know cheat codes so I get $50K by merely pressing a key stroke combo). So in the afternoon, while the kids are entertaining themselves of course, I'm decorating our new house. Putting in plush white carpet and beautiful art on the walls. Adding in every top of the line stainless steel kitchen appliance, a big fancy flat screen that hangs on the wall, a big ole game room with a pin-ball machine, dart board, chess table. I've even installed a pool in our backyard. The house is amazing! I get started on actually playing the game. Almost immediately Andy knocks me up and I'm waddling around the house like a fat cat only interested in peeing, eating and sleeping. Good thing I don't have a job. I give birth to what I think is a girl, we name her Kara Michelle (Andy picked the name) and then winter hits. I'm carrying around this baby and then a message pops up "Kara Michelle is freezing. You better keep her warm before the social worker shows up!" It's then I realize I didn't put a roof or any ceilings on our beautiful 3-story home. And because the house is already built, I'd have to tear it down and start all over to get the ceilings in there. This took me HOURS to build! So we moved.
It's grocery store time. I hate... despite... loathe going to the store on the first of the month. To avoid the crowd I'm packing up the kids and heading out as soon as I'm done with this post. There is now way we would make it through the weekend with no food if I didn't go today. Nisha is going to her dad's for the weekend, but we get DD, Baby Love and Monkey Boy, along with their cousin, this weekend. It's going to be a mad house around here mostly because the yard is muddy and it's supposed to rain all weekend, so I can't just put them all in jeans and throw them out the door. Mother Nature hates me.
Holy shit it's MAY! It seems like just yesterday it was the beginning of April when I got my sister's flight info for when she would be here in May.... and I wrote up the list of crap I needed to get done before she gets here. HAY-SUESS! (That's how we say Jesus around these parts, so we don't offend, of course.) I haven't accomplished anything on that list. In fact I don't even know where it is. On the back of a bill's envelope I'm sure, but WHICH bill is the real question. My garage is still a pit, I haven't waxed the floors, there are about 4 pictures up on the walls in the entire house (excluding the kitchen because that's my favorite room and it was the first, and only, room that was finished a week after we moved in), my seedlings are still sitting on the back patio waiting to be planted in the garden beds, my quad room (laundry room/office/den/dart room) is a complete mess, and I've got about 25 days to get this place ship shape. On a good note, I get a present this month. It IS Mother's Day month right?
Is it just me or what? Am I the only anal retentive person that thinks it's rude and disrespectful for a service technician to park in my driveway? They are here to perform a service, they don't live here. So don't be pulling up in my driveway like this is YOUR home. That irritates me to no end. I had the phone guy come out yesterday to fix my land line ~~because my cell phone bill is $265 AGAIN~~ because we needed a home phone and that moron just whipped into my driveway like he was coming home for lunch or something. Grrr! And to top it off, he wasn't nice. He wasn't rude either, but he wasn't nice. Very curt and to the point. No additional information was given and I had to ask a million questions just to get him to tell me what the hell the problem was with my phone line. And his answer was, "Cox converter, sign here." That's it. Go park in someone else's driveway you zit faced geek!
This morning I get dressed, like usual, in the quad room (because I've boycotted doing laundry and all of my clothes are now in the dungeon) and come into the living room, where Andy is ready for work, feet perched up on the coffee table, enjoying whatever is on HBO, and ask him to fix my bra. I've got one arm out of my t-shirt and my hair is all tangled in my bra strap. I just wanted him to fix the flipped over strap. Easy task. He's fumbling around back there for what seemed like an eternity, cold ass hands all over my shoulder and back, and he finally says "THERE! I did it!" and then proceeds to pull the strap all tight, because I guess it looked like it needed to be flipped AND adjusted. Now I'm walking around with one boob at chin level while the other is sitting over there all comfortable and laughing. Thanks Andy. Thanks.A.Bunch.

So that sums up my High Five Friday! The highlights of my morning, and what looks to be the beginning of another adventurous day. I'm off to the God-forsaken grocery store on the first of the month. If you all don't hear back from me by mid-afternoon, call the President. Seriously.

Writer's Workshop

2009-04-30T08:59:00.003-05:00

It's that time again... Mama Kat over at Mama's Losin It offered the following prompts for the Writer's Workshop:

1.) Who really helped you get over something? Write about that person.(writingfix.com)

2.) Is plastic surgery an option? Without being vulgar, write about the body part still attached to you that you would most like to dis-attach and replace with a better one. (writingfix.com)

3.) Share an interesting email exchange you've had with someone lately.

4.) Have you thought about shutting down your blog? Why haven't you and what would cause you to make that decision final?

5.) Today I will...

I'm sure I could find something to jot down about all of them, but I'll go with #1 only because I've got a big to-do list today and I should get started on it.

Andy. He's the one that helped me get over something. My insecurities.

History: I was a girl just out of high school and he was a guy with 2 kids and recently separated from his evil first wife. He was 6 years older than me. I thought I hit a gold mine when I found him. He was a family man, a preacher's son, good morals and values, a good, steady job and seemed to adore me. Jackpot! Four years and one kid later, I found out he cheated. So long Knight in Shining Armour and in comes Jackass of a Lifetime. I was crushed. Apparently, this broad he cheated with also had a man... who found his way to MY front door to whip my man's ass. I didn't believe it at first. He surely had the wrong guy. Surely he was talking about my man's friend, the whoredog. Nope. He politely pointed to our family portrait on my living room wall and said, "That's the guy. That's the one who is sleeping with my girl." Complete and utter devastation.

Wowzers. Looking back, that was the night I lost all faith in relationships. Needless to say, my "man" was gone that night. I put him out and threw our family portrait shattering on the ground right in front of him. He cried. I cried. And I sent him on his way.

For the next five years we were off again and on again. I went to therapy. He made promises. I vowed to make it work. We even got married. Big ole church wedding and all that jazz. He went back to being the loving man and father that I once knew. But something changed inside me and I couldn't get back to the place I was before. I was jaded. Then finally, one day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Just get out. So I did. But I was still jaded. I trusted this man with my heart and soul and he ripped me to shreds. He was sorry, I knew that. But that didn't change the fact that it happened.

During the next five years I had few relationships and dated a few guys. Nothing serious. They thought it was serious, but I never looked further than that moment. I never thought of a happy ending or forever after. I never wanted to put myself in a vulnerable position that would allow someone to hurt me again. That emotional rollercoaster was for the birds, and I wanted no part of it.

And just when I thought I had my emotional state under control.... along came Andy. A friend of mine told me about a dart team that was needing a female. I knew one of the three other guys on the team. My darts were going well and I thought I was ready to actually play on a team. I was introduced to Andy and the other guy and threw my darts. It was fun. Andy thought I was a bitch and I thought he was an asshole. But we had a wierd chemistry from jump. I like banter, and he dished it out like nobody's business. I gave it right back to him. From that first night I knew there was something about him. I had to get to know him. He had this energy that I fed off of.

Well, turns out this asshole had a sensitive side. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted. I found myself stalking him. Complete voluntary stalking. I would show up where he was throwing darts on another league, with the girls of course, just so I could be near him. We would stay at the bar after everyone left and have "alone time". Lol, alone time in a bar.

Anyway, he had just gotten out of a decade long relationship and was forced into the single world again. He had three kids and was very particular in who he introduced them to. I was still in the mindset that men suck, really bad, and I wouldn't count on tomorrow with any given man. We started spending time together outside the bar... with all the kids together. Doing things like a family would. I fell in love with his kids and he treated my kid like she was his own. I let my guard down, without reservation. It was like all of a sudden I was in a trance. One day I'm a man-hating jaded biotch who couldn't care less about who I hurt, and the next day I let go of the self-preservation mode I'd been in for years and found myself in.love.with.Andy.

Without even trying, this beautiful man managed to single handedly give me the strength to believe in love again. To believe in the happily ever after. To realize that being hurt once doesn't mean that I was doomed to be alone or in meaningless relationships. Never once have I felt like this man was looking at another woman. Never once have I doubted where he was or who he was with... or if after one beer too many that trailer tramp trash three barstools down looked like she needed some company. Never have I felt like he wasn't sincere. Not one time have I wondered about his love. Not one time have I regretted giving in. And today, I see beyond tomorrow, next week, next year. I see a lifetime. A future. A home. A family. The greatest thing about it all... I don't remember the pain and bad memories I have from the past. It's like all of it has vanished and all I can see is the moment we met and the life we have together. It's as it that's when my life really began. When I look to the future, because I can do that now, without fear (YAY), I see us and the life we built together. I don't remember life before him and I can't picture my life without him.

Ok, enough sap. For more Writer's Workshop, go visit Mama's Losin It!

Selective Hearing of Monkey Boy

2009-04-29T08:45:00.005-05:00

We are driving along Monday evening, all four kids, Andy and myself, rockin' the mini, on the way to Gma's for her birthday bash. The music is playing... probably some old rock song from my favorite CD I recently made for myself (Pat Benatar, Air Supply, you know the likes). The teen and tween in the very back tolerating the music and gazing out the window praying for a better song. The two younger ones in the middle seat, safely tucked into their carseats. Andy and I in the front engaged in convo about his job and new promotion. I occasionally look to Monkey Boy (3) and Baby Love (4) telling them to use inside voices and reminding them to keep their nasty little feet off the seats. They get their feet off the seats only to play the "I'm not touching you" game which is then ended with a pinch on the arm from the Monkey Boy. He's scolded, gets pissed, telling me "She peen me back, she peen me back" and then they go into another conversation. He's not the easiest to understand and sometimes we are WAY off base with what he's trying to tell us.

I gaze out my window just in time to see one car trying to get on the highway and another one speeding up to make sure the oncoming vehicle has to get behind him. "Stupid ass!" I quietly say to the moron driver as I glare at him through the window. How rude! I'm in a minivan loaded down with kids, in the very next lane... the lane he would have to turn into if that car didn't yield, and this asshole thinks the world will end if he doesn't fly up into the bumper of the car in front of him just so there is a car behind him. Like he's going to miss out on the checkered flag in a Nascar race if he ends up behind the oncoming traffic.

Andy continues rambling on about his promotion.

Monkey Boy: "Doop ash, doop ash, doop ash."

I look back at Monkey Boy, who is now looking me dead in the eyes, grins and continues chanting... "Doop ash, doop ash, doop ash."

Andy: What's he saying?

Me: (Wearing that quizocal grin and shrugging my shoulders, pretending like I don't know what the boy is saying)

Andy: (One eyebrow raised) He's saying stupid ass isn't he?

Me: (Still wearing that "stupid ass" grin)

How come when we say something meaningful like "I love you" or "Hold me" or "Good boy" he runs off to find the nearest mud puddle like we haven't uttered a word. But the moment I use a curse word or spout out something without thinking about the mini-people lurking behind me, he chooses to listen... and repeat... and repeat... and repeat what I've said.

I'm sure his bio-mom will be pleased to hear him chanting "doop ash" the next time they are sitting at a family dinner or out with a group of people. This I'm sure will be followed by Baby Love, the tattle teller, telling her bio-mom "He's saying stupid ass. Denise said stupid ass and then Monkey Boy said doop ash. That's what he's saying... stupid ass. Mom what's stupid ass mean?"

RTT: Tantrums & Big Mama Bras

2009-04-28T08:27:00.007-05:00

Go check out The UnMom and Baby Boogers and play along. Mr. Linky is waiting...

It seems all my entries are random as of late. I just can't seem to wrap my head around one single thought long enough to write about it.

I've realized the backspace key is the most often used key on my keyboard.

I wish I could communicate better. I threw a tantrum last night, like a 2-year-old, and my poor Andy caught the brunt of it. We snuggled later, but I hate that I can't just say what I mean when I mean it, instead of waiting until I blow up about stupid things.

Andy's new promotion starts July 1. I'm so proud of him! He transferred to headquarters shortly after we got together and said there was more opportunity for advancement there, plus he could mingle with the big-wigs. I guess he was right. He really is a great employee, knows his stuff and isn't afraid to be right. I love that about him. He is the "go to" man of sorts around there and of course it swells his head, but he totally deserves it.

Someone remind me... make a neuro appt for the 15 y/o! Jeeze, you'd think one simple phone call during the day wouldn't be that hard to remember! I've got to get this appt scheduled so I'm not the mom calling in a month from now saying that my kid doesn't have enough medicine to last until her next appt. Seriously, they write the Rx for 6 months worth and I wait until the very last minute to make an appointment. It's not like she's just taking Motrin yanno lol.

Speaking of the neuro, we are coming up on the 3rd year anniversary of the 15-year-olds brain surgeries. I'm so proud of her. She really has come a long way. I have experienced nothing scarier in my life than sending my child off to a secret room to have part of her brain removed while I'm just directed out to some room with a bunch of other scared people to wait it out. I held it together until her dad and I had just said our "goodbyes" and were heading down that never ending, stark white hallway to the waiting room. I lost it. Nearly fell to the ground bawling like a baby. And then having to repeat that scene 2 more times within a matter of days. Wow! Talk about patience, prayer and the strength of a family.

Now that postop child is looking forward to a drivers license. Eek! Jeeze I'm old. I remember like it was yesterday when she was 4 and bringing me the brush and pretty pink bows saying, "Mama, fix my hurr." She only wanted to be the prettiest girl playing in the mud.

We were over at Andy's mom's yesterday for her birthday celebration with the rest of the enormous family. Seriously, her 5 kids were there, with their kids, and their kids' kids. All jam packed into the front room of Gma's house. Good times! I love that their family is close-knit. I didn't really have that with my family... hell, I'm the only sucka left in Oklahoma from my family. They all tricked my mom and I into moving out to Oklahoma from sunshiney California... and by the time I was out of high school, most all of them had relocated. Now I'm ridin' solo out there. But to tell the truth, there isn't any other place I'd rather be. I love my life here.

Goal for today is to get my homework done and get the floors done in the house. Surely I can manage that.

I get a package in the mail last week addressed TO my mama, who lives in Texas. Our names are similar, but two completely different zip codes in two different states. Odd. I'm confused, but then I remembered that my mama is back in the online shopping game and thought maybe she sent me something. She's been known to just send "blessings" every now and again out of the blue. It's from A Woman Within. I have no clue, so I tear open the package. Inside there's a bunch of magazines, an order form, and another package. I don't bother to look at the magazines because DUH, there's something else to rip open. ACK! Inside I find a big mama bra... 44D. The kind with four snaps in the back on a 3-inch wide strap. The Fort Knox kind of bra that holds big mama boulders, not boobies. What tha.....this CAN'T be for me! Apparently, our addresses somehow got crossed and it came here. Boo! I wanted a surprise. Instead I get this:

Ok, I'll shut up now. That's enough random thoughts for the moment. I'm sure though, in the midst of diligently doing my homework, I'll find some reason to get back on the computer and end up here again before the day it done.

Makin' Friends Monday

2009-04-27T14:23:00.003-05:00

So this is my third post today and I'm not nearly finished. I know I said I was going to get to my homework, but I don't wanna. And you can't make me.

That Girl over at Sunshine and Rainbows (who I stalk already) posted from Kasey's All That is Good (who I will now stalk) a little thingy called Makin' Friends Monday. Go on over there and check it out, and link up with Mr. Linky to show your stuff!

Each Monday Kasey posts a task for everyone to do... simple, nonpersonal stuff... in hopes of folks meeting new folks, getting to know each other better, etc. Sounded cool. I wanna play!

This week her task is

5 Senses: List 4 likes and 1 dislike from each of the senses.

Smell
Likes:
1 - Fresh cut grass
2 - Rain
3 - Andy with all of his frou-frou stuff on
4 - Clean laundry fresh out of the dryer
5 - Diesel fuel
Dislike:
Rotten potatoes

Touch
Likes:
1 - Andy's bare skin next to mine
2 - Soft baby skin
3 - My bare feet on the sheets
4 - Sand in my toes
5 - My mama's hugs
Dislike:
Raw hamburger meat on my hands - the 15y/o mixes the meatloaf for me lol

Sound
Likes:
1 - Rain hitting the rooftop
2 - Motorcycles and muscle cars RAWR
3 - Music in the morning, helps me wake up and puts me in a good mood
4 - The kids playing together... nicely
5 - The sound the dart board makes when I hit a hat trick!
Dislike:
Fingernails on chalkboard

Taste
Likes:
1 - My mama's frito chili pie
2 - Anything on the Taco Bell menu... especially during a hangover
3 - Pepsi
4 - Avocados with pepper
5 - His lips on mine
Dislike:
Eggplant

Sight
Likes:
1 - Old folks walking hand-in-hand
2 - Babies sleeping
3 - Andy walking through the door after work
4 - A fully stocked and organized kitchen
5 - Any body of water that I can jump in
Dislike:
Buttcrack in public

There ya have it! Now go post yours so I can stalk you too!

Addendum: I apparently don't follow instructions very well. I posted 5 likes and I was only supposed to do 4. Ooopsie. (Insert dingbat blogtard emoticon here)

I learnt me some new things

2009-04-27T11:40:00.002-05:00

While I'm supposed to be doing homework, I had this idea that sounded much more fun. I decided to look up things that I didn't know about. Just random things that caught my curiosity.

If you are new to bloggyland, you might be wondering this question too. What the heck is a meme? I pronounced it "me-me" because that's what it looked like. When in fact... it's a "meeeem". Hmph. I found an interesting read over at Chrisg dot com and he explained exactly what it is. I feel so much better now. Thank you Chris G. I'm still a blogtard, but I'm learning.

Another intesting thing I learned today... that stupid pig flu is in fact from pigs. So here's my warning: If you live with a bunch of PIGS, you are at risk. If you feel feverish, throw up a couple times and have the urge to squeal or "oink", immediately seek medical attention. You could be infected.

Speaking of Pigs, I was talking to my sister today and we were reminiscing about our childhoods. We laughed about the time we lived next door to Pancho and his million-people family out in the sticks where we would wake up Sunday mornings to an actual pig squealing... look out the window and see Mrs. Pancho out in the front yard slaughtering a pig and getting something ready in their gigantic, black, witches brew cauldron for what we could only imagine was going to be their supper. Meanwhile Pancho is feeding their shetland pony who is tied up to a tree in the front yard as well; the pony my dad won for me in a bet but then gave it back. We moved a little further down memory lane and talked about how we remember mom living in Reno. Sissy's only memory there was when she snuck out one night, while mom was dealing cards at a local casino, slipped into another casino, stole a name badge and smacked it on her shirt, found a used plastic cup of booze that was laying by the wayside and promptly went up to the next waitress, handed her the dirty cup and told her she would like another one. She was 15 at the time. My only memory in Reno was when I was kidnapped by my dad and grandpa who found me there, in the middle of the night, with my mom's "half-naked boyfriend" (he had his t-shirt off and was lying on the couch) and my mom was at work. I was 8. I'm sure I was asleep. The odd thing is... I don't remember my sister being there ever, and she doesn't remember seeing me there. This is only a couple of the many, many memories my sister and I shared. So as we walked down this road, reliving our childhoods, we couldn't help but wonder how we came out alive... and sane.

Did you know that babies are born without knee caps? They don't appear until they are between 2 and 4.

The nursery rhyme "Ring Around the Rosey" is a rhyme about the Black Plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores ("Ring around the Rosey"), these sores would smell very badly so common folks would put flowers on their bodies (inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores ("a pocket full of posies"). Furthermore, people who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease ("ashes, ashes, we all fall down"). Gross!

I was playing around on Google Earth (the free version) and the apartment that we moved out of 5 months ago still has my car parked in front of it. For those of you who thought it was in real-time... it's not. So don't go trying to spy on people. You'll only find out what they were doing up to 5 years ago LOL. Makes me wonder about that broad who claimed she found out her ex was cheating on her when she saw his truck via Google Earth at another broad's house. How long was that affair really going on huh?

That's all I learnt today. I think I learnt me up some pretty good stuff. My brain hurts. I'm going to look at pretty pictures in my art book now and pretend to write my paper. Happy Monday!

Monday Mania

2009-04-27T08:29:00.003-05:00

OK what the flip man? Why when I wake up on a dreary Monday morning, after NOT sleeping well at all even though it stormed and that's usually when I have my best sleep, do I hear about a pig flu epidemic? No confirmed cases in Oklahoma yet, although half of our surrounding states have them, and I'm just a wee bit worried since I've been down with this horrible coughing snotty hacking sneezing bronchial infection for OVER A WEEK NOW! Even my normal savior Mucinex coupled with Sudafed isn't doing the trick. I think I'm over the worst of it, but every morning I still wake up to a cough attack and that elephant on my chest feeling. Ugh!

On to more pleasant things, like my weekend recap:

Friday Andy and I went to a dart tournament. The pot was $500 and we were ready to play! I got a pretty good partner, and Andy was partnered with our best friends new wife. She's okay, but neither of us really had a chance to take home the money that night. Cody, another dart player, is following me around the dang bar for over an hour before he finally stopped me and said, "You have a daycare right?" Well, I told him I keep a couple kids out of my house, but they are family. He goes into his whole story AGAIN about his girl and their new baby and needing a day care and willingness to drive the boy to me and he's a newborn and he doesn't trust anyone and I'm not with the State am I and how big is my house and blahblahblahblahblah! Cody! Shut the hell up man! I'm trying to throw back tequila shots with beer chasers and you are screwing with my buzz man! And dang Donna brought her camera so there are umpteen pictures of Andy and I, along with the other drunkards in the bar, highlighting just how unpretty we can look when intoxicated. And then I see that Donna has them all posted up on her MySpace. Great. Just great!

Saturday morning Andy headed off to go fishing with the nephews at like 5 in the morning. Pffft, I didn't even know he was gone until I woke up at 8:30. I texted him to tell him to have a great day and rolled back over because Taco Bell doesn't open until 10. NOTHING is better than Taco Bell for a hangover. NOTHING.

Except Subway. The 15y/o and I decided we each needed a footlong. Pigs. I saved half of my sammich for later, but that kid of mine ate the whole thing in like 4 minutes flat. Seriously, I don't think she said a word until she had snarfed the entire sammich down! And then proceeded to tell me how much smaller her sammich was then mine because she doesn't put tomatoes on hers. Um... ok horker.

Saturday was a completely lazy day. I was supposed to work, but since the words on the screen didn't make much sense to me, I decided just to lay up and watch the boob tube with the teen all day long. We did manage to get to the grocery store though. I knew Andy hadn't eaten anything all day long so I wanted him to come home to a hot plate. Aww such a good girlfriend I know. I should get an award or something. I went in the grocery store for hamburger meat to make a meatloaf.. and ended up spending $45 on junk. And hamburger meat. Andy came home about 9 and dinner still wasn't ready lol. He was muddy, exhausted, starving... and supper wasn't ready! There goes my award.

Sunday we slept in and cuddled. It's been a long time since we just layed there and snuggled in bed. Sometimes we slip into this routine, that dull routine with our backs to each other at night, and we don't move until that stupid Mariachi (sp?) band alarm starts yapping on full blast volume. We can't be the only couple that does this... but we've only been together a little over a year and it's already happening. He's hot natured and I'm always frozen, so if I try to get close while he's asleep, when he gets hot he'll toss and turn until I get away from him lol. Then when he tries to get close to me, after his body heat warms me up, I find myself sticking my left foot out of the sheet, then my right foot, and before I know it I'm yanking away from him because I'm too hot. Fat folks trying to snuggle can get complicated.

I worked yesterday afternoon and up until about 9 pm. Of course there were like 239087234 breaks that I took, but I managed to get my work done so we could watch a movie together. Joyride 2. Don't waste your time if you haven't already. I will never get that hour and a half back. The first one was way better. Andy and I just sat there finding all the flaws in the script and filming. And if they are obvious enough for ME to find, something is really wrong with the film.

So we head to bed, snuggle for a few minutes and then we being the toss and turn game again. I dreamt I was a lesbian. Odd. We should definitely snuggle more.

Then I wake up this morning to the pig flu epidemic. And I remember all the homework I've been putting off since class last Wednesday. Good thing I have the next two days off.

That about sums up my weekend. I suppose I should go clean or do homework or something.

High Five Friday

2009-04-24T08:46:00.003-05:00

TGIFreakinF! This has been a long and trying week for me. I didn't even participate in Mama Kat's Writers Workshop, but I did read a lot of them. I've been sick and my precious Andy kept the house flowing after he got off work each day so I could poop out and head to bed early. He takes such good care of me.

To here's my ^5 to Friday and the 5 random things going on in my head today!

American Idol - of course I'm happy Lil is gone, not so happy about Anoop though. He wasn't going to win, but I loved his voice. I'm quite pissed off at America for putting Allison in the bottom 3 though. She SO didn't deserve to be there!
Our 15y/o had managed to bring ALL her grades up to As and Bs. I am SO proud of her. Her last report card sucked big ones and after a long 3 hours at parent teacher conferences, Andy and I devised a plan, along with the help of the asst principal who I love and adore, to get this child's grades back on track. Her trip to California this summer depended on it.. and that in itself was enough motivation for this kid. She's a complete slacker, and it's all my fault. Now I'm freaking out because I've got a little over a month to get a flight booked for her lol. Crap. Secretly I was hoping to save that $300. Horrible I know. But now my greatest fear in the world is coming true... I'm going to shove her on a plane ALONE, being the first time she's flown EVER, and hope for the best. She's dingy. I'm scared to death she's going to call me from Alaska and tell me she got on the wrong plane.
Tonight we get to throw darts at a tourney with our best friend and his wife. I'm excited, but I'm worried about how I'm going to breathe in a smoke filled bar. Ugh. I'm finally feeling like getting out of the house and where do I want to go? To the emphysematous hell hole where I can sneak an inhaler in the bathroom. Smart. I'm a real smart cookie I tell ya!
Running through my head at this very moment are all the things I've got to get accomplished before my neat freak sister and her perfectionist Dick show up in May. I wish I had a friend who would come help me. So I'm making the lists: things to get done, things to buy to make our house pretty, and places I can shove stuff so my sissy won't see them.
And the 5th and final thought for today: I'm giving myself a ^5 for being disciplined and actually working. It's hard working at home, especially when you have 2 little ones constantly needing attention. I have to wear headphones so I can actually hear what the doctor's are saying and it's hard to hear the kids scream with them on. It's definitely a challenge, and sometimes I have to work at night, neglecting my own family, to get work done. But in the longrun I know that an additional paycheck makes a big difference in the plans we have, so I keep trekking along. This is the first "real" pay period I've been back to work and I'm right on schedule with my production. Go me!

That's all I got folks! We are almost kid-free this weekend (the teen decided to stay here instead of going to her bio dad's), and it's my scheduled weekend to work so I probably won't be around much. Hopefully next week I'll be feeling back to my normal self and can add some humor to this drab blog.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and are able to enjoy the beautiful weather!

Wednesday Revelation: Coupons

2009-04-22T08:42:00.001-05:00

**This is something I wrote about 2 years ago, pre-Andy days, back when I had a rommie and we were penny-pinching in my apartment. Everytime I think about clipping coupons, like now especially in a recession, I remember this fiasco and opt out on coupon-clipping**

Today's Revelation:

Coupons are a manufacturers way to get you to purchase the items they know you never would otherwise!

So I'm on a budget these days, being unemployed and all, trying to be frugal and aware of where my money goes. My mailbox is constantly filled with coupons, not to mention the plethora of coupons found in the Sunday paper. So my roomie and I clipped them, carefully choosing what we would and wouldn't like to get at the next visit to Crest, our local super cheap brand name grocery store.

I arrange them neatly in an envelope, on the back of which contains our well thought out grocery list. I'm pumped. I'm ready to save some money. I'm grabbing the bull by the horns and keeping money in the bank.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

It's a HOAX I tell ya, a complete and utter HOAX!

We get to the grocery store, event planned in our heads of how this should go, and I end up turning into a super charged Coupon Bandit! I'm going down the aisles examining over and over again which coupons we clipped, putting things in the basket just because I have a coupon clipped just for that item! Things I'd never eat! Things I've never heard of! My roomie looks at me, after calming her recent belly laugh as I comb the aisles, and tells me, "We aren't going to use EVERY COUPON YOU HAVE TODAY!"

Well why the hell not? We clipped them, we brought them, we should use them!

Get a grip, I told myself, get hold of yourself woman! We make it all the way to the bread aisle before she sees a coupon attached to a rather pricy loaf of bread. It said if we buy this loaf we will get $1.00 off a gallon of milk and $0.55 off a carton of eggs. JACKPOT! Her eyes light up like a kid getting their first red Schwinn bicycle!

Next aisle - shredded cheese and canned biscuits. Ut oh! I distinctly remember clipping at least 5 coupons for Grands Biscuits! Ok, so we couldn't justify the $0.35 coupon for a $4.00 pack of sweet rolls, no matter how yummy they looked. Especially since the other brand was only $1.29 at regular price. We do okay in this section. One more to go.

FROZEN FOODS

At this point we looked and were actually using 5 coupons for a savings of about $3.00. Not too shabby. This section of the grocery store never really appealed to me like it did today. I'm not a frozen meal kinda girl. I love to cook, and these foods required a microwave and paper plate and voila', supper was ready. But today, today this area had so very many things to offer. Did you realize you could purchase a baked potato? I mean a potato already baked with all the toppings? And for goodness sake, there were at least 6 flavors of hot wings! Coupons! Where are my blasted coupons!

I'm searching and searching. Low and behold I have at least 10 great coupons for $1.00 off some Tyson bag-o-chicken thing, $1.00 off the Totino's pizza rolls, $0.75 off something called Anytizers, $0.55 off here and $0.45 off there. Holy toledo batman! My roomie tried her best to calm me down. I looked like some freak, up and down those two aisles, going through the coupons one by one, searching for the best deals. My roomie would find something that caught her attention for a few seconds and I would scurry down the aisle, trying to lose her, sneaking the next item I had a coupon for in my buggy.

It was horrible. I was exhausted. Two hours later and we are finally finished. We get up to the cashier, beaming, like we had just caught a fish and even baited the hook ourselves.

BLAM! Reality hits...

Cashier says "Your total is $132.32 with a total coupon savings of $7.45 ladies!"

Ex-ca-use me? So I spent an additional fifty damn dollars to save SEVEN?!?!?!?!

I swore off using coupons that very moment. We didn't even look at our flippin grocery list not one single time!

What's worse... I'm sitting here writing this and thinking about all the things I need to pick up from Wally world tomorrow. Dish soap (I have a coupon for that), papertowels (I just happen to have a coupon for Viva $0.50 off two rolls), Zip-lock bags (oh lord, I have a $1.00 coupon for two of those too)...

and the saga continues...

*Update: Just went into the kitchen to get some iced tea and saw 6 boxes of cereal I just purchased earlier. SIX! There are three of us in this apt. I don't do cereal and my kid eats breakfast at school. I had coupons! Stupid coupons for cereal!

American Idol, Gary Unmarried and Army Wives

2009-04-21T21:23:00.005-05:00

Ok so American Idol was on tonight and I'm not happy.

Adam, of course, has major talent and I want him to screw up so bad it's unbelievable. It's not that I don't like him... it's just that I'm secretly in love with Danny Gokey and the only way he will win is if Adam chokes on a Lemonhead.

Lil - I think it's time to throw in the towel. Just another copycat performance and I hope I speak for the Nation when I say WE ARE TIRED OF YOU! However, she would be a hit on a cruise ship somewhere.

Allison rocks! I love that girl! Can't wait to hear her first album.

Matt Giraud - I think he saved himself, at least little bit, tonight. I was afraid the judges were going to use their "save" on him and the following week he was going to be eliminated. I don't think that's the case... at least this week.

Kris - my monkey impressionist singing little friend, I think you are fab! But I don't think you will win... sorry.

Anoop - I'm afraid it's probably the end of the road for you too. Your sweet ballad voice isn't going to carry you through to the end.

Danny - my love. I noticed took my advise from last week and stopped trying to hard to pull on America's heartstrings. You also didn't wear your wedding ring tonight, maybe because it wasn't a love song, and I think you did fantastic! His voice gives me goosebumps!

So that's my take on tonight's contestants. Tomorrow, two will be eliminated and in my opinion, Lil and Anoop need to hit the road.

On my 8 Things I Watch there were a few folks that hadn't even heard of Gary Unmarried, or Army Wives for that matter. Well my friends, if you like comedy, you are missing out! At least on Gary Unmarried. This dude is hilarious! It's just a silly little sitcom but we DVR it religiously.

You can check out some of the videos and read more about Gary Unmarried here. Basically, he's newly divorced with two kids. He's a complete jock-type man and owns a painting company. His ex-wife and he were seeing a therapist, who later became his ex-wife's new man (but now they are broken up after shacking up together). There's a huge age difference in the ex-wife and the therapist, so Gary takes every shot he can at dear old Crandle. The ex-wife is also a control freak SAHM who still tries to wedge her way into Gary's life. They are hilarious! If you like Two and A Half Men, you'll really like Gary Unmarried.

The other one folks didn't really know is Army Wives. Like I said, I'm not sure why I dig this show. No one I know is even in the Army. I think I got hooked during one of my stay-under-the-covers-and-melt-away-Lifetime-moments. Yes, I'm a Lifetime nut. I love sappy movies. And I love LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) just as much. Girl Power!!!

This one is about... you guessed it... Army Wives. There are 5 main characters. Four wives and one Army husband, who just happens to be a therapist. Cuz they definitely need therapy. All the characters are completely different in personalities and are there for each other with each Army husband deployment. It's a really interesting family issues kind of show. I'm a sap lol. This one comes on Lifetime on Sunday evenings. It's getting really good right now as season 2 comes to a close and season 3 will be starting June 7th. I religiously DVR this one and watch it alone, during naptime on Monday. You can read more about it here and I think you can even watch whole episodes online.

Yanno, I should really be getting paid for giving these shows virtual ^5's.

8 Things...

2009-04-21T15:04:00.004-05:00

Tagged by Lana at The Kids Did WHAT?! Check her blog out folks! I just love her stick people lol.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

--> Payday!
--> Finishing my first semester back in school!
--> Seeing what next semester holds for me. I'll be glad when these stupid classes are over with and I can get into my program requirements.
--> My sissy coming to visit in May! I miss her so much!
--> The Chicken Coup the first weekend in June. It's a steel tip dart tournament at a campground. Super fun! Nothing but a bunch of kidless drunk folks trying to find their campsites, river rafting and darts. Last year was our first year and we had a blast!
--> Our trip to Florida in July to stay a week with my sissy at her summer house, lounging around in the sun, playing on the jet skis, going out in the bay on the boat, eating absolutely nothing healthy and having the time of our lives! That week alone saves me about $10K a year in therapy.
--> Sending Baby Love to school in the fall. She's so excited to be one of the big kids!
--> Spending the summer with ALL the kids! I'll have our 4 plus the 2 I keep during the day. Although I'm terrified that I'm going to pull out my hair during the first week, I think we are going to have a great time! AND I finally have a vehicle bigger enough for all of us to do field trips! Bring it on SUMMER!

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

--> Finished up my Holocaust class and did two oral presentations without coming up with some God forsaken disease allowing me to bow out gracefully and take the big fat ZERO for my assignments.
--> Put the corn in the raised beds. They look so pretty out there. Can't wait to get the rest of my seedlings in there and reclaim my diningroom for EATING!
--> Talked my sissy down from the ledge regarding her classes. She's getting the end of semester blues and everything is out of control for her.
--> Watched Schindler's List with the oldest kid last night. She's studying the Holocaust in school too, so it was a neat movie to watch together.
--> Let Andy watch the babies all day yesterday without stepping in to tell him everything he was doing wrong, and not that he does things wrong, he just doesn't do them MY way. The only time he called assistance was for the poopy diapers. I'm so proud of him!
--> Called my mama a day late for her birthday. What a loser. Being that I'm the favorite daughter of course.
--> Went to the Admissions office at school to get a parking sticker for the Minivan without the tag number. How stupid is that?
--> Read the syllabus for my stupid Art class and decided there shouldn't be that much reading involved in an Art class... so I'm boycotting the book.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

--> Be invisible whenever I wanted. That would be a cool super power to have doncha think?
--> Fly a plane. I've always thought that would be neat, except for the landing part. I'm sure I'd suck at that.
--> Be like Super Woman and change my clothes in a telephone booth. I think it would be cool to just change outfits with a couple of twirls and every hair would be in place, jewelry would be on, legs and pits would be shaved, and I'd smell like I just got out of a 2 hour Calgon-take-me-away session!
--> Draw. I suck at drawing but I think it would be super neat to put up something I created on the walls of our home.
--> Get paid for not working.
--> Think of cool pranks to play on Andy. He likes to scare the bajeezus out of me and I want to get him back so bad!
--> Wave a magic wand and see what my life looks like 5 years from now. That way, if it doesn't look the way I want it to, I can pull some strings now and fix it.
--> Wave that magic wand again so I would have a totally gorgeous body in a bathing suit this summer. No one wants to see dimple-ass whitey stampeding in their direction chasing after kids.

8 Shows I Watch:

--> Grey's Anatomy - do I really even NEED a reason to watch this one?
--> Gary Unmarried - the funniest sitcom EVER!
--> Army Wives - I'm not sure why, but I like this show.
--> American Idol - cuz I think I can sing
--> Private Practice - really, it's a good show, even with Taye Diggs on it.
--> Dirty Jobs - this guy cracks me up!
--> The First 48 - pretty neat stuff on this show. I like cops and robbers shows lol.
--> Law & Order: Criminal Intent - only the ones with Vincent D'Onofrio. I lust him.

8 People I Tag:
I'm not sure I even know 8 people to tag... but here goes.

--> Ruggy13 at Adorably Distracted
--> Sherri at Matter of Fact
--> Cara at Momma Says
--> Tiaras and Tantrums
--> Grand Pooba at ..Pooba..
--> Bon Don at Who Throws a Cupcake? Honestly.
--> That Girl at Sunshine and Rainbows
--> Georgie at Decisionally Challenged

Tag... you're it! No tag backs... and I promise not to stalk your beautiful bloggy pages to make sure you have posted your 8... I mean I will continue to stalk you, but I won't gripe if you don't play lol.

Random Tuesday

2009-04-21T08:51:00.004-05:00

Here we are again, another Tuesday... join in at The UnMom for more Random Tuesday Thoughts!

I didn't post yesterday because I was knee deep in snot and homework.

I'm all hyped up on Mucinex, Sudafed and Pepsi. No coffee squirts this morning, but geeze, how much snot do I have to cough up before my lungs no longer feel like bowling balls???

One of my favorite bloggy friends, Lana, at The Kids Did WHAT?! tagged me for "8 Things" and broke my tag cherry. I couldn't be more proud. Go check out her blog, she's hilarious! (I promise Lana, I'll post on that one later today)

I found my new May edition of Better Homes and Gardens in the bathroom this weekend. When I asked WHY I hadn't even seen the magazine yet, my lovely Andy admitted he was reading it. Go Martha!

The supper menu for this weekend went exacty as planned! Too excited about that. I don't have pictures of anything except Friday night...

They turned out really well, tasted super yum and the kids all helped. We made a ton of them!

The Holocaust class is over and WHEW! I made it! I had to do TWO oral presentations last night in class and I just knew something bad was going to happen, especially considering my fear of speaking in front of people. Luckily though, I didn't fall down, trip over a hair in the carpet on the way to the podium, or pass out from anxiety. I think I made an A in that class YIPPEE!

Andy stayed home from work yesterday b/c I've been battling this stupid URI and had the babies to take care of during the day, along with my homework that I've been putting off for a week. I love him so much! He played hookie for me!

We also finished marking off the garden beds yesterday and I got some of my stuff transplanted. Looks like a real garden now!

Our friend Chris and his wife Blair were over for Sunday dinner. It was really good spending time with them, and they didn't even make THAT much fun of me for making my own salsa... and canning it lol. In fact, I sent a jar home with them. It made me feel super good that Chris and Andy were joking about sending Blair over to me for a week so I could train her lol. Apparently, she isn't really domesticated. In fact, we sent Chris home with a huge container of leftovers from the enchiladas and bbq beef biscuit basket things so he would have something for lunch at work the following week. He has been working out of town lately and only comes home about once a week and the weekends. I don't think he was too excited about another week of Hungry Man dinners.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... it feels SO good not being shacked up with a married man! Thank God that divorce is finally OVERRRRR!

Sims 3 comes out in June! My girl Julie (who is just as addicted as I am, maybe even moreso) and I have decided to go halvsies on it and share. This one is supposed to have way more cool stuff to build the houses with and many more attitudes on the Sims characters.

Wednesday night I have class again. What the hell man! Who goes to school TWO nights a week? Pffft! This starts the 5-week session for Intro to Fine Arts. Can I just say that I'm not looking forward to studying statues of naked dudes posing all fancy with their dongs hanging out. Really... what am I supposed to get from this class?

The 15 y/o was a total butthead this morning and even told Andy on her way to school that he needed to "put mama in check". Ex-ca-use me! Just wait til that little brat comes home from school and I chase her down the street with a wooden spoon. Who's gonna be put in check then!?!?! Huh! Huh!

I was really looking forward to my sissy coming to visit at the end of May, until today, when I realized my house is a pit, I haven't finished unpacking from when we moved into this house in January, my garage is a mess, the livingroom isn't decorated yet, and I'll have to get EVERYTHING done before she shows up. Normally, I would just leave it alone and she would Feng-Shui my whole house for me, cuz she's a control freak and I'm just lazy, but she'll be accompanied by her Dick and we won't have the time. Bleh!

Ok, I'm over it. I've got to get some work done and apparently, the screaming kids in the other room need some attention.

GOVERNMENT WARNING!

2009-04-18T19:16:00.003-05:00

I just thought you all should know. Happy Saturday!

Here's What's for Supper Ya'll!!!

2009-04-17T14:51:00.004-05:00

So I'm not a planner. I love to make plans and lists, but life gets in the way and things get altered and I get pissy and it's never a good thing. Rarely do things happen the way they are planned.

But... I've been reading all these blogs where these perfectly organized mommies plan everything, down to every meal for.... get this....

A WEEK AT A TIME!

Can you imagine? A 7-day plan of meals. I give you all well-prepared mommies a big ole virtual high five because stuff just don't go down like that around here. In light of that (and because of my competitive nature), I'm going out on a limb here and I've planned the weekend meals. Baby steps. If this goes right, I might, just might, consider doing an actual 7-day meal plan. Probably not though because plans change on a dime here and I never know what's really going on until I'm in the middle of it.

So here's the meal plan:

Tonight's meal will be BBQ Beef Filled Baskets, Andy's (Martha Stewart is what we fondly like to call him) famous fresh green beans sauteed in fresh garlic and onion, and some ranch mashed taters. Super YUM!

I didn't come up with this one myself. I snagged this one on another blog *gasp* and I regretfully can't remember whose or I'd give her some "props". She got it from Kraft and you can find the recipe here. Looks like something the kids and I can all get together and do, so I'm really excited about it. She did say there are some amazing recipes on there. When I stop stalking the blogs so much, perhaps I'll take a gander.

Saturday evening I will be serving chicken enchiladas, ~~Martha's~~ Andy's famous Spanish rice, refried beans n cheese... and some chips n salsa. My whole idea behind this one simple. My mama sent me a recipe for salsa and I want to try it out. So I planned an entire meal around it... as an excuse lol.

Sunday evening we will be entertaining so we are going to fire up the grill. We decided on pork chops (mostly because we bought an industrial sized pack of chops from the grocery store last night for only $0.98/lb. The package was $16 something. That's right folks... 16+ pounds of chops). For sides I'm making a broccoli cheese casserole, corn on the cob and some spicy cornbread with Ro-tel... mmmm! For horses doovers (hor d'oeuvres) I will be preparing cream cheese stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon and grilled. Now THOSE are super, super YUM. I'm only doing those because my perfectly delicious friend Cilla bought me a real live jalapenos pepper corer gadget that she found at Affair of the Heart (an annual craft show/fair) and she thought it was screaming my name. I told you, I love gadgets! And she obviously loves me! Or she just felt sorry for me the last time she was here and I made those and got pepper juice in my eye.

So that's the plan folks. I won't be around this weekend (except maybe to write that one blog about Nisha's dang volcano report that I've been chomping at the bit to vent about). This is our weekend with the kiddos (yanno, the divorce, joint custody thing) and we don't get all four of them under one roof very often. Not to mention I've got an oral presentation on genocide to prepare, Maus to finish reading and write a 5-7 page paper and an oral presentation on that one too, two 1-page movie reviews and two 1-page conversation starters to get done. Monday is the last day of my Holocaust class *wiping sweat from brow* and I've learned SO much, but it's time to move on to the next class... and NOT be some bombarded with homework.

Have a fantastic weekend blogger peeps!

Junk Mail - I'm just plain confused!

2009-04-17T13:49:00.003-05:00

For a while now I've just clicked on "delete all" that was in my junk mail without paying any mind to the content. I've had this email address for many, many years and I'm sure I've signed up to and subsequently unsubscribed to a billion websites.

Here are a few that I actually looked at today...

I have been given the opportunity to buy an all-natural remedy, 100% money-back guarantee to enlarge my penis. Limited time offer! Is that like Miracle Gro for the "hot-rod"? And seriously... how do they determine it didn't work so that I can get my money back? I'm certainly not sending them before and after shots. In any event, being that I'm all woman, I didn't see how this would benefit me in the least. Delete. Undelete. Forward to my brother. Delete again.

1 800 Pet Meds somehow refuses to believe that we don't have any pets and continually makes me an offer to save $20 on brand name ped meds. Now, if they are referring to my children, ketamine might be an option. Delete.

Team Beachbody (ya, uh huh, when I take off all my clothes and underneath this layer of flubber I've got the body of a model I tell ya, a hot hottie MODEL) keeps sending me emails about the parasites in my water. They really, really want me to take a "Parasite IQ" test. Thanks, but I think we'll just continue drinking our cootie infested city water and be none-the-wiser. Delete and unsubscribe for the billionth time.

The F Word, aka Fubar, keeps sending me this one: Crazy Talk Spawns Midget Ninjas. I have no idea what the hell that's all about, but I'm afraid. Very afraid. Delete.

I can't even tell you the number of emails telling me to become a medical transcriptionist (which I have been for 15 years) using their online courses... or how to become an ultrasound tech ONLINE or how to become a private investigator ONLINE or how to become President of the United States ONLINE (ok that one was a stretch, but the rest of them are true). Delete, delete, delete, delete and delete.

Now I don't mind getting email, or junk mail. In fact, in between medical reports that I type I'm constantly (you better admit this too!) clicking back over to check my In Box for comments on my latest blogging adventure. My only request... and it's not a big one really... is that they would send me things I could actually use. I am, afterall, the queen of infomercials and unneccesary gadgets that will somehow enhance my life to the Nth degree.

Perhaps if I got junk mail on painless nosehair clippers or a natural remedy with a 100% money-back guarantee to keep the grey hairs from popping up all over my head, I might be more inclined to purchase.

I might consider purchasing something that shocks the little children's hands when they open the fridge or a mysterious voicebox that goes off when the last square of toilet paper is used that says something like "You better change the roll or the toilet will self combust in 10 seconds!". It would be great if I could get that in a Darth Vader voice. And then maybe another one of those that detects when a pissy hand grabs the doorknob to the bathroom door because the kids haven't washed their hands after using said toilet that says, "I've got eyes in the back of my head! Wash your nasty hands! And USE SOAP this time!" I'd like that one in my don't-talk-to-me-before-I've-opened-my-eyes morning growl voice please.

Ok I'm over it. Back to ~~stalking my In Box~~ work. Love you Andy! (Insert big fancy heart emoticon here)

High Five Friday: Five Random Thoughts

2009-04-17T08:32:00.005-05:00

Here's my morning routine. I get everyone shoo'd out of the house to work and school. Then I duck down in the office to read some blogs and log in to work. The babies show up and I turn on Dora, praying they will fall back to sleep, duck back down into the office to ignore work and read more blogs. Babies scream and need attention, so I stop my ever-so-important blog reading to tend to the needy little creatures. And finally, when they are situated again, I duck back down in the office to again ignore work and post my daily after I've read more than enough.

So here's my Friday High Five (if I was really cool I'd get one of those fancy schmancy button thingies to post here, but I digress, because I'm a blog-tard).

The divorce is done! Yippee! I'm no longer shacked up with a married man. He keeps saying he's "a single man", but we'll see what tune he sings next time he wants to Woo-Hoo (I'm a pathetic Sims addict, I know). Pffft! He went to the courthouse yesterday, met up with lovely ex-wife, signed the papers, went before the judge and VIOLA it was over. Amazingly simple. I've heard so many horror stories about divorces, but when adults act like adults, it's amazing what can be accomplished.

Why is it that when I take a pen out of the handy dandy pen cup on my desk and it doesn't work, I just shove it right back in the cup. Is it secretly going to produce some ink by the next time I reach for it?

Let me introduce you to Mike. He works with Andy. At one time he was seeing two ladies and asked my precious Andy for advise. Ha! He can barely handle me, let alone TWO! So Mike always praises Andy and I for our relationship and thinks Andy is the luckiest man in the world to have a hot plate and coffee sent with him to work every day. I, being the nice *cough* thoughtful *cough* lady that I am, sometimes send extra food with Andy so he can share. Nothing beats homecooked meals, and Mike appreciated it. Well... this all came to a screeching halt as of yesterday. Stupid Mike and his stupid man-power decided it would be funny to invite all of the single ladies in the office over to Andy to try and grope him prior to his leaving for the attorney's office for the divorce. He lured them with saying something about how Andy will be a bachelor when he gets back, so they better get their claws in now... and by the way Andy, tell Denise I'm just kidding. Pfffffffft! I told Andy to mention to Mike that I know how to use Ex-Lax and he should be cautious eating anything I send for lunch. Jackass!

Speaking of Ex-Lax... is coffee a natural poop-enhancer or what? How come after I drink just one cup in the morning, I'm running to the bathroom? Gross huh? Feel my pain. I LOVE the smell of coffee, and I'll take a frap any day of the week, but for some reason hot coffee gives me the squirts. We're just that close. Figured I could share. Your welcome.

And finally, I'm all too excited that Andy has found a little old lady at work who used to can veggies and the likes and has TWO pressure canners. I told him to make out with her and get me one of those canners. I'd even send over some of my applesauce that I canned last week to help seal the deal.

I hope you all enjoy your Friday!

The Ex-Wife: The Saga Continues

2009-04-16T14:45:00.002-05:00

History: I wasn't Andy's first.*Gasp* He wasn't my first.*Double gasp*

He married a lovely woman and has three kids with said lovely woman. I married a ~~jackass~~ lovely man and created one spawn by said lovely man.

They are in the process of a joint-custody divorce (which will be filed today YAY) and we've been living in sin for almost a year. Don't judge me dammit. He was already long gone from their relationship when I found him and stalked him and made him mine... with the help of several shots of Patron and a few make-out sessions in the truck after leaving the dart bar. I know, what a slut!

Anyhoo - down to the story. They have a very amicable relationship, of which I am completely jealous because my ex and I aren't on the greatest of terms. All in all, they have the best interest of the kids at heart and I think it's admirable that they don't mix their current lives and plans with the pain of divorce. Although, neither of them seem to be in much pain about this whole ordeal. Odd.

I've never really had an issue with this lovely woman. Ever. She's been kind to me and even her family seems to like me. I might even like her if she weren't the ex-wife lol. I, being a sceptical woman, think there is something behind the scenes going on. Women tend to judge other women, whether we admit it or not. Size each other up type of thing. I can't help but think they are only being soooo nice to get the scoop in our household and see what they can gossip about. I don't give them any fuel... whatever their intentions may be. And it could be they have no intentions are just nice people.

Then... Easter weekend happened and I got my very first dose of ex-wife BS. C'mon, it's been over a year that Andy and I have been together, so in her defense... it's about time she screwed up.

We were going over to Andy's moms house on Saturday b/c rain was in the forecast for Sunday. His mom has a school across the street from her house so it was a great place to hide eggs for the billion and one kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, great nieces, great nephews and all the in-laws... ok you get the pic. Big Family!

Lovely ex-wife called at about 10:30 that morning wondering what time we were going to pick up the kids. He tells her between 2 and 2:30 as the Easter celebration started promptly at 3. She's notified. Agrees. All seems well.

We leave the house, Nisha, Andy and I, all rockin' the mini and ready to mingle with the fam. It's 2:15. We call said lovely ex-wife to let her know we are on the way. Common courtesy. Really, it's more of a "have the kids ready" type call so we aren't sitting there at her house (again) waiting for the kids to get shoes on, hair done, etc.

Said lovely ex-wife says they aren't at home. In fact, they are at a damn birthday party for a neighbor/friend of the oldest child, DD. Ex-ca-use me?!?! (Insert grumpy face emoticon here)

Ok, don't panic. He tells her firmly to have the kids at his mom's at 3. All is well again.

We arrive at his mom's chillin with the folks, having a good time with kids chomping at the bit to hunt Easter eggs. Three o'clock rolls around and we are still short THREE KIDS! Where in the hell are my kids?!?! (I know they aren't MY kids but they are MY kids, ya feel me?)

He calls. They are still at that damn party. Ok... now here's where I get pissed. Really pissed. That's rude. That's completely rude and unacceptable. We arranged to have the kids, gave her plenty of notice and even let her have Easter Sunday all to herself with the kids. That's TOTAL BS!

Andy calls her to rip her a new one and I don't even remember their conversation (believe me I tried to eavesdrop) because I was so damn mad. We have 20 kids all standing at the front door, whose parents brought them there ON TIME, for this flippin Easter egg hunt and WE are the hold up.... WE don't have our kids. Grrrr!

She shows up at about 3:15 all apologetic and shit. Whatever lovely ex-wife. What-the-eff-ever! He gets the kids, tells her all about how uncool that was and we proceeded with our day.

Good enough. I'm over it. We have the kids and the celebration begins.

Thennnnnnn, adding insult to injury, when it's time to take the kids home.... LOVELY EX-WIFE isn't in a place where she can receive the kids (because somehow it was our duty to return them to her place) and she tells us to drop them off at her sister's house. Uhhh...say what? I have met said sister and I don't agree with her lifestyle, especially when my kids are involved. Specifically, I remember picking up my beautiful babies from her house one afternoon at 1-ish and they all had red and green popsicle face and dear uncle of theirs informs me that they haven't had breakfast... just popsicles! Grrrrrrrr! Feed my babies you moron! (Insert really grumpy face emoticon here)

We ended up having a lovely day with the kiddo's and pretended like we didn't want to stab lovely ex-wife in the throat... with a knife. How morbid. I know. But when everything has gone exceptionally well for over a year, and then BAM we get his with ex-wife's complete disregard for our plans... it really, really hit me.

Enough ranting. Just writing about it pissed me off all over again!

**Disclaimer: If any of your family, or yourself, lovely ex-wife have access to my blog, please ignore my rant. I certainly don't want to stir up unnecessary feelings, but you REALLY pissed me off that day. Thank you in advance. (Insert smiley face emoticon here)

Writer's Workshop: Playground Bully

2009-04-16T08:38:00.003-05:00

So this week at Mama's Losin It the following prompts were offered:

1.) If I sent you four hundred dollars today what is ONE thing you would spend it on and why. ps I want my change.

2.) What are your kids talking about?

3.) Tell us about a local news story that's all the buzz right now in your neck of the woods.

4.) Share some blogging advice.

5.) Tell us about that time at the playground when that thing happened.

I'm getting all bold and gonna do two of them.

1 - If you sent me $400 smackaroos I'd go to the camera shop on the corner of Main and Cornwell and get that DSLR that I've been eyeing for $350. I'm completely and totally jealous of my sister and her ability to take pictures and somehow I think having a fancy schmancy camera like she has would make all the difference. Probably won't work. But you can definitely have the change... and a photo session.

5 - Playground huh? Well there was this one time...

at band camp...

when I stuck the flute up my...

Nevermind.

When I was about 10 I lived in these apartments in Cali with my mama. Lots of kids. LOTS. One in particular was the asst manager's son. Toby. Ya, his real name. I hope he's a blogger! Anyway, Toby thought he was the shit because his mama was the asst manager. Pfft. That didn't fly well with me, but my mama always taught me to be respectful and not to get us evicted.

One day I was being Resident Potty Mouth and accidentally happened to walk by his mother's window cussing like a sailor. My exact words, "I'd fucking get in so much fucking trouble if my mama found out I was cussing." Well, the wench Toby's mama was, looked out her window, pointed her obnoxiously long, Lee Press-On red fingernail at me and instructed me to get home immediately and she was calling my mama. Tattle teller. I hated her after that, and I hated her son even more... just for being related.

I always had the choice of being grounded or getting a whippin. It was summer. I was definitely taking the licks. No way was I going to be stuck in that apartment for two weeks while all my friends, and Toby, got to play outside. Boy she got me good. I bent over my pink canopy bed and took my swats like a man.

About a week later, I'm in the playground and stupid Toby walks over and starts taunting me about getting in trouble for cussing. He's cussing up a storm, mind you, while he's taunting me. We were 10 and it was cool to cuss. Meanwhile my favorite Aunt Barbie and my mama are up in the apartment, throwing back some vodka grapes, and I'm trying to be a good girl. I had a pink canopy bed for Pete's sake. But my inner boy-child came out. I couldn't help it. I think it had something to do with the "Here Comes Trouble" t-shirt my grandpa got me when I was 7.

Toby was relentless and it was up to me, the playground hero, to put him in his place... even if that meant my poor mama and I would be homeless by the end of the week. I had dirt on him you see. I knew he was the one who egged our neighbors truck and I would tell it. I would tell it in a heartbeat and he knew it!

He smarted off one more time and all I remember was my little arm swinging out like I had a sack of potatoes in it and my fist made contact with Toby's face! He grabbed his jaw and dropped to the ground... like a little biotch. My exact words, "I'm gonna go tell my Aunt Barbie I just beat up a BOY!" and I ran like hell. I knew that when he got up I was dead meat.

I get to my apartment and run to my room. Mama and Auntie had a few drinks in them by then and didn't pay me any mind. I was relieved. I was just waiting for the phone call from Toby's nosey mama telling us to pack our stuff.

Knock knock! There's someone at my front door. My Aunt, being closest, opens the door to find Toby, leather belt in hand, with a gang of boys asking if I can come out to play. Well, my Aunt Barbie was a rather large woman and the boys were afraid of her. She had a few choice words for them, as I was hiding behind her, and they left. Toby said I hit him, she said he probably deserved it, he said he was going to tell his mama and my lovely Auntie said Bring It On! She knew my secret about Steve's truck being egged.

My mama, sitting in the kitchen, none the wiser, only asked me to fix her another drink. She didn't care who was at the door and I surely wasn't going to bring it up. Auntie told me to stop being mean to the boys because one day I was going to have a boyfriend, and boyfriends don't like being punched in the face. Bleh!

That was over and I was happy about it. I beat up a boy and life was good. I was the Queen of the Playground to reign forever and ever. Until the following week when I didn't see Toby. And the week after I didn't see Toby. My neighbor Johnny told me Toby was in the hospital. I felt horrible! I thought I put him in the hospital! Come to find out, poor Toby had a crooked weiner and they were "straightening" things out.

The End.

Go on over to Mama's Losin It and tease your mind with tons of other glorious stories!

And Mama Kat, if you happen to read my tale, I would have put your handy dandy button on here, but the dang code isn't working properly... that or I'm a complete blog-tard and can't figure it out.

American Idol... and other random thoughts

2009-04-15T13:10:00.006-05:00

Alrighty you Idol fans... here's my top 3 for this weeks' hot seat... (not hot like "oh you are so hot" but hot like "oh you've definitely got to go!")

Lil Rounds - I'm just tired of her. I think she's tired of being on the show too. The judges have given her sound advice over and over and over again and this lady just won't listen. She has absolutely no artistry to her singing. She sounds, and looks might I add, exactly like every original artist song she sings. Bleh! Don't get me wrong... she's definitely a powerhouse with a mad voice, but she isn't using it. I so wish she would have chosen a Whitney Houston song from Bodyguard or Preacher's Wife.

Matt Giraud - Although I normally like this guy, he's just to wishy washy for me. One week he sounds great and then the following week he sounds like he's got laryngitis.

Kris Allen - I really don't want him to be in the bottom three because I like this kid, but when I compare him to the others, I have no choice. I think he did really well last night, and I think he's got something good coming in his future, but honestly, he has no chance of winning the competition.

To my dear, dear Gokey. I have an issue with you Sir. I LOVE your voice, your reserved attitude and how you appear to be so humble. However, these last two weeks I feel you are grasping at straws and playing the wifey-sympathy card a little too hard. You pick songs that will yank at the heart-strings of every American voting and my dear, it's getting old. You definitely have an amazing voice and I love that you have heart. But Danny, I've noticed you are wearing your wedding ring only for the performances.... and I've noticed you are taking off your glasses, which are oh-so-delish, I can only imagine for people to see the true emotion in your eyes. We see it... even with the frames. I'm not down-sizing the sea of emotions you must be experiencing in the least. I truly sympathize with you and wish you all the best in your healing process. All I ask is please stop trying so hard to rip my heart out. Use your amazing God-given talent and win this competition so I can laugh in the face of all the hard-core Adam Lambert fans. Is that too much to ask?

And on to lighter subjects:

I am in the process of writing how the lovely ex-wife pissed me off the day before Easter. Stay tuned... but for some important history on the lovely ex-wife you might enjoy reading I DONT LIKE MUSHROOMS.

Ramon and the crew have yet to show up to vacuum my yard... and if they come during nap time I'm going to scream! Yes, I said vacuum b/c for some reason I can never think of "lawnmower".

I have had 2 cups of coffee and 3 glasses of tea so far today... I'm hoping I don't pass out before 4 from heart palpitations.

I'm sick and tired of typing about sick patients. I like the psych reports. Makes me feel sane. But it gets very depressing that every patient who enters the ER is diagnosed with 4 more disorders/issues than what they came in with. Seriously doctor, can't you just treat the pneumonia without labeling them all with depression, insomnia, SLE, type 2 DM and CAD? And while I'm ranting about doctors... really, after over a decade of schooling, is it possible that you might be able to pronounce the drugs properly so the little peons like me know what the hell to type? And furthermore, it is not necessary to say "pee-rod" (period) after every sentence or "break" when you want me to start another paragraph. I know proper sentence structure. I know how to make your reports look pretty.

I let my plants (the veggie plants I have been growing, from seed mind you, in my kitchen since February waiting and counting the days until I can move them into their garden beds) stay outside all night last night. I was scared. I've babied these guys, nurtured them, fed them, almost killed them with Pennington Plant Food, tripped over them in my kitchen, and talked every single day to them. They did very well. I was so proud of my veggie babies. And as soon as Mother Nature gets that rainy day stick out of her butt, I'll be able to set them free to grow in their beautiful beds made by Andy and produce me many, many veggies all season long. Gardening is therapy. I have probably saved $10K in therapy by just planting some seeds. It's a beautiful thing.

Last random thought: I hit the jackpot in the washing machine today. I have made a whopping $1.62, all in change. I can't wait to see what the dryer holds for me. Last time I hit the jackpot, I opened up the dryer to find a $5 bill with one end of it stuck inside the cylinder. I ripped it while hastily trying to unwedge it and tuck it in my pocket before anyone saw me. Andy says it's now a $4.75 and we cannot use it anywhere.

The Ex-Wife Saga Begins: I DONT LIKE MUSHROOMS

2009-04-15T11:28:00.003-05:00

This is a post from a blog I wrote many moons ago (ok it was last year) in a group I've been a member of for years. I am posting here to give some history on the lovely ex-wife. Stay tuned for more about said lovely ex-wife.

08/15/08 - Ok so Andy and I have been seeing each other for a few months. By this time we have introduced our children to each other and do group things with the kids. Memorial day weekend is coming up and Andy's family has a family reunion out at Canton Lake. I've been invited, but I'm a bit apprehensive because this is a big, very close family. I keep hearing horror stories about how they hate Andy's ex-wife and what big a-holes all the guys can be. My impression was that these folks were pretty old-fashioned roughnecks who liked a hot plate on the table when they got home from work and the little lady would have a boot upside her neck if she didn't comply.

Well, a week before the reunion the "ex" calls Andy and tells him that "her" kids aren't going away with him for the weekend unless she gets to meet me. Immediately Andy goes left of course, because she worded it more as a threat than as a request. Being a woman, a mother and an ex-wife myself, I know what's going through her mind and the real reasons behind this "meeting" she's wanting. We all say it's because we want to know the person who is spending so much time with our kids, when in fact, we want to make sure the new love is fatter and not as pretty as we are. We want to see for ourselves that her thighs jiggle when she walks and she doesn't have that great of an ass. We've just got to see that she's got grey hair or a bad dye job and she wears her pants too tight b/c she thinks she's a lot smaller than she really is. Point blank -- ex's are calculating and have agendas.

After he gives her a few words on threatening him with his kids, Andy approaches me, very carefully, and tells me that the ex wants to meet me. No problem. I saw this coming a mile away. But I've been to this rodeo before and I can tell you this -- I gave her exactly what she was looking for. I'm not a pretentious "plastic" by any means. I showed up at her house and offered nothing but the real me. My hair was in a knot on top of my head, no make-up, worn out flip flops, a faded t-shirt and capris that were at least one size too big. Plus, I won't allow this to be a competition. It's simple -- I have him because you gave him up. Sucka! (ok, so it was a little fun for me)

We were going to stop by her house after she got home from work. The time was all set up. Well, after sitting outside her house for nearly 15 minutes before she showed up, I was a little peeved. Being that I'm chronically late for everything too though, I couldn't admit to being that mad, at least not outloud.

She pulls up in her big fancy suburban and all three kids safely buckled in. We get out of the car and head up the driveway to help her get the kids out of the car. He introduces us. "Katie, Denise... Denise, Katie". I'm not a hand shaker. I don't really like to touch people, especially those I don't know... and she reaches out her hand. Just seems odd to me, two ladies sitting out there shaking hands. Isn't that more of a guy thing? I don't know. Anyway, I take her hand and we nod our heads and put on pretend smiles. It wasn't really an uncomfortable moment, we were just too busy sizing each other up to really be cordial. She's pretty. Very pretty.

We all go into the house and get cozy. In my mind I'm wondering how long I have to be here. I met her. My job is done. Why am I still here? So the ex and I are sitting in the recliners and Andy cops a squat on the floor directly in front of us. The oldest child, then 9, goes to kid with him. The ex is just chatting away, talking to Andy, the kids and even me. I'm off in my own little world watching the youngest play in the diningroom and when I hear the ex and Andy giggling. I look back and apparently the oldest child was looking at her mother and I right in front of her and said, "Ya'll look a lot alike." Huh?!?! Don't get me wrong, I took it as a compliment. She's an attractive lady. It was more uncomfortable for Andy than anyone I think. I'm cracking up on the inside b/c she's Mexican, I'm clearly not. We don't look alike, but admittedly we are shaped similar.

This is taking entirely too long to get to the damn mushrooms. Let me fastforward.

We met, Andy and I left and that was that. One week left until the camping trip and the kids and I are getting very excited. Over the next week I meet more and more of Andy's family. These folks are great! I have no clue what he's talking about when he says they can be a bunch of a-holes. They all have been nothing but nice to me.

The day before we are leaving for Canton Lake, Andy decides to total his truck. Ok, it wasn't his fault and he's lucky I wasn't there. That dingbat kid who drove underneath his truck bed while she was looking at her flippin radio would have had my fist in her throat. By the grace of God, he wasn't hurt, but now we are down a vehicle and all of us can't fit in my little sedan with a ton of camping stuff. It just wasn't going to happen.

Andy calls the ex, tells her he needs to use her suburban. Surprisingly, she agreed. I was pretty much in awe at this point. I didn't want to like her, simply because she's the ex. It's odd. Not only am I taking her place at the family reunion, I'll be taking care of her kids and riding in her suburban. Wow. I'm not sure I would be so gracious in that spot.

Ok, the next morning, we get to the house to pick up the kids. They aren't ready. Here I go. I'm peeved again. They aren't even packed. Really? Are you seriously that bad of a procrastinator? I honestly think the only reason I was pissed was because I knew I was going to have to go back in that house, put on a smile and chill with the ex. Grrrrr!

I sit down while she's running around the house trying to pack things up, brush hair and chase kids.

Let me back up for a second. When Andy told me the ex wanted to meet me, she suggested we all go out to dinner. My reaction? "Bahahahahahahaha! I'll meet the mother of your children but we aren't going to break bread. We aren't going to be best friends and go clubbing together. It just aint gonna happen." My exact words I tell ya!

Ok, Andy is helping her get the kids ready when she decides to go into the kitchen and feed the kids. Seems appropriate, feed the kids before you send them on a roadtrip. I'm thinking cereal, quick and easy. This woman gets out a big ole skillet and decides to scramble up some eggs and make some grits. Not as quick as my idea.

She turns to face me and asks, "Do you like mushrooms?"

Andy is positioned perfectly in the livingroom where I can see him and she can't. He almost dropped to his knees. I was dying inside and he thinks this is the funniest moment in history. He gives me a deer-in-headlights look, waiting for me to open my mouth and respond. I'm not great at hiding my expressions, not at all. And I can't turn to glare at him b/c she's standing right there... looking at me... waiting for my answer.

I'm contemplating on how to appropriately answer this question. Do I like mushrooms? I mean really? What's the big deal? It seems like a simple enough question. So what do I do? I stumble all over my words, like a blithering idiot, trying to find the right thing to say without offending her.

"No. I mean, yes I do. But not right now. I mean, I like them, I'm just not hungry. But thank you." Total lie. I was hungry. I love mushrooms, but not cooked!

She seemed satisfied with my answer and turns back around to cook. My eyes meet Andy's and he's having a hay day with this. He's whispering under his breath about breaking bread with her and how she's cooking me breakfast. I wanted so badly to kick him in the chin and wipe that smirk off his face.

So now, anytime we talk about going over to pick up the kids, he brings up the mushrooms. In fact, he's told his whole family about the time that his ex cooked me breakfast. It wasn't for ME and I didn't want her damn mushrooms!

Spongebob vs. Mr. Woodcock

2009-04-14T13:44:00.003-05:00

Here's another dream... or one that I can't remember! Grrr!

So I'm dreaming along one morning, minding my own business, and I feel Andy stirring in bed. I continue with my dream. I remember being partly awake because I made a mental note to remember my dream so I could tell Andy about it later.

Well, Andy wakes me up with morning wood (or Woo-Hoo for the Sims players)... and what else could be a better alarm clock than morning nookie fo'real... and before I roll over with my ready-and-waiting look (yanno the one... nightgown up to my boobs from tossing and turning all night, slobber on the side of my face, eye-goo and hair in knots look) his words were, "I can't do this while you are watching Spongebob!"

Mind you, I fell asleep with the TV on and I'm still asleep, or at least halfway asleep... but I never turn down morning wood. *Gasp*

I roll over, half-way giggle, wipe the slobber from my face and give him the come hither look, trying to bat my eye-booger matted eyes and I'm sure a green fog coming from my mouth.

So, for the last few days I've been trying to remember my flippin dream and the only thing I can remember was the very last scene before my eyes were completely open... Andy about to soar onto the bed, t-shirt on and boxers around his ankles, Mr. Woodcock like a radar pointing straight at Mrs. Hoo-Ha and Spongebob staring at us on the TV behind him!

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-04-14T11:13:00.004-05:00

So I'm joining in with the rest of the folks at The UnMom...

Frogs don't have tails, even though I'm "tale", so I'm thinking about giving my blog a facelift again.

Woo hoo! American Idol tonight! I so look forward to Tuesday and Wednesday nights. And although Andy is secretly jealous of my obsession with Danny Gokey, he still watches it each week with me. I heart him.

Never fails, I say "Big K, we are having pizza for lunch today!" And she says, "I don't want pizza. I want a chanwich." If I were serving "chanwiches" she'd want poptarts or a pizza.

We've been watching Big Love. For those of you who don't know, Bill Paxton plays a polygamist with 3 wifes. I have to admit, I feel guilty watching it. I don't agree with their lifestyle. Not to mention I have to listen to Andy's constant threats of when he gets more wives, but that I'll still be first wife so I shouldn't feel threatened. Even though all of my moral being says this is wrong... I can't stop watching it. I'm addicted. Since we finished all seasons of the Sopranos, we needed to find another series that we could rent a couple DVD's at a time to watch. Andy's nephew recommended this show, of course he's the one who watches the Whores of OC or whatever that face lifted boob job snot bag rich bitch housewife soap opera crap is that obsesses over.

My poor, poor Andy. Every day I send this man to work with a lunch, coffee and some fruit. His friends at work all comment on what a wonderful wifey I must be to pack his lunch every day. He gloats. It's nice. We snacked all day Sunday and Monday night I was at school, so Nisha and Andy went out to eat. There were no left-overs to pack for his lunch, so for the past two days he's only had his coffee because I haven't cooked. His friends at work today asked him if we had broken up.

If Mother Nature could keep the Windy Stick out of her butt long enough, I could get my indoor garden out of the dining room and into the raised beds Andy built for me. It would be so nice to have my dining room back.

Things I have to remember to blog about:

My coupon fiasco
My sister's Dick
The Ex-Wife

We are actually paying someone to mow the lawn. $60 a month. It's not a lot. I suppose I could go to Starbucks, get me a grande frozen crack in a cup and do the lawn myself for about $5. Who am I kidding... I'm going to sip my frozen crack in a cup on the front porch and watch Ramon and the crew mow the yard in about 15 minutes flat.

I got out of school early last night and decided to surprise the folks at home. Andy and Nisha both had "chores" they were supposed to do before I got home. Andy had the kitchen and Nisha was to sweep the floors. How come when I pull up in the driveway at 7 nobody is home? And no chores are done? AND they are out SHOPPING!

My mama called yesterday to tell me she bought me a canning utensils set from eBay. You'd have thought she's just offered me an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas with how excited I was. Simple pleasures I tell ya. Simple pleasures.

My mama also told me that granny said I could borrow her canner, but I couldn't have it. She's 900 years old... seriously. Then she said I could "borrow" granny's canning jars too, but I had to give them back as well. Huh? Really... I'm not going to can some shit and label it "granny's jar" so that a year from now when I bust open that jar of marinara sauce I'll remember to send that jar back to Texas. Thank you for the offer granny, and I'll definitely borrow the canner... but you can keep your stinkin jars lol.

That's all I've got for now. Time to feed the kids and get ready for the most glorious part of my day.... Nap Time.

Monday Minutes

2009-04-13T09:09:00.003-05:00

Just a recap of the last few days:

Thursday after Nisha, the 15 y/o, comes home from school she tells me she's gay. I guess she was looking for a shock-face from me, but didn't get one. My reply, "As long as you're happy." Then she changes her mind. She decides she's got a girlfriend, but she's also too boy crazy to be gay, so she's going to be bi. "As long as you are happy baby girl." I let it go. She followed me around the house telling me more about this new girlfriend of hers and I just listened.

Friday I tried my hand at canning. That's right... I canned. I made some applesauce (cuz nothing beats homemade applesauce) and canned it. It worked! Ahhh, the simple pleasures lol. Nisha was away at a vocal competition all day and they took 2nd place! Go girl! Then after school Nisha tells me she's being ridiculed for being gay. She looked so sad. Then she tells me it was just a joke and she's not really gay, but she certainly didn't like the way kids were being so mean about it. "As long as your happy baby girl, but now you see it's not so nice to poke fun about something so serious huh?" She agreed.

Friday night Andy and I go out for the dart tournament and a drama filled night at the bar. Ugh. Two of our friends had birthdays coming up, so that was the designated night to par-tay! All was good for most of the night until everyone who boycotted our home bar because one of the birthday girls (who happened to be a bartender there) was 86'd and fired the night before wanted to show up at that bar. Why? What was the point? "Hey, we are boycotting your bar but we are going to act like a bunch of heathens and show up here just to prove a point." Ridiculous. Andy and I left right after we got there. Got us some drunk burgers from Mickey D's and passed out at home.

Saturday we did the Easter egg hunt at his mom's with the rest of the fam because of the 100% chance of rain on Sunday. Nisha rode with us and Andy's ex-wife dropped off the rest of our crew (Oh I've got story about that fiasco, but I'll save it for another time lol). Good times! I love hanging out with his family. They are really some good people. That evening a bunch of us were going to meet up at one of the nephew's houses for some drinks and fun, but my old ass was too hung over from the night before... Man I remember the days when I could party the entire weekend... So long 20's, I'm an old broad now.

Sunday we took Nisha too her dad's so she could go to church with his family. Her dad was out of town (what moron schedules a couple's retreat on Easter weekend?!?!?!) but her older sister called and asked that we bring Nisha out there and she'd bring her home. I thought that was a really nice gesture. Nisha sometimes feels left out of their lives and I know it made her feel all warm and fuzzy... especially since her own daddy didn't even call to say Happy Easter! Sense some animosity? Perhaps.

Andy and I spent a lazy day on the couch watching Big Love and eating snackies. I really enjoy my lazy days with him, especially when I get him all to myself. I love having all the kids together and I love being a mommy, but our alone time is precious to me too. It's an odd feeling to me. In past relationships I would have felt smothered, but with Andy I can't get enough. I'd rather be curled up next to him on the couch than out and about. It's a great feeling. A really great feeling.

And today... I've got work until noon, homework until 5 and then class tonight. Somewhere in there I'll get supper started so we can eat before I head to class. This is the 4th of 5 weeks of Intro to Holocaust. Tonight Nisha and Andy will do their ritual bonding time while I'm away. I love that they have quality time too. Nisha really loves him to pieces, and I know he feels the same about her.

So I guess I should get busy with my day huh?

High Five Friday: The Five Love Languages

2009-04-10T08:11:00.005-05:00

Over turkey break I read this book. It's really a worthwhile read. Oddly enough, this is a book Andy had and shared with me. Not your typical man-book, but this man is full of surprises and is actually one who cares about communication and how to make a relationship better. I tend to be the "I don't want to talk about it" one in our relationship, while he's much more open and likes to get things out on the table. I think he feels if we aren't talking about something, there is a barrier and that's not healthy in a relationship. I agree, but I still suck at the communication part.

Anyway... this book made me realize something imperative to all relationships, whether it be significant other, children, parents, friends, work relationships - anyone. We don't all process or show our needs the same way.

Gary Chapman actually has a website dedicated to this idea. I urge you to check it out. Might even be able to do the quiz on there. I'm the queen of quizzes. I love the quizzes in magazines and online that tell you what kind of lover you are, if you are romantic, if you are an under-cover freak, etc. I LOVE quizzes. I know they aren't based on anything scientific and are just mutterings of another bored person, but I still think they are fun lol.

So... what are the love languages you ask? (Just pretend you asked dang it!)

Words of Affirmation: Receiving words of adoration, comforting words, ego-stroking words, words of praise and kind words. Is it really important to you that your s/o (significant other) write you love letters or poems, give words of praise to your strengths, and compliment you in front of your friends and family? Does it mean the world to you to overhear your s/o telling someone else how great you are?

Quality Time: The central aspect of quality time is togetherness; not proximity but focused attention. Quality time doesn't only include the minivacations or weekend getaways couples sometimes take to renew their relationship. Is it important to you that you receive eye contact when you are trying to talk to your s/o? Or that they are not multitasking when you are speaking to them and concentrating only on the conversation you are having, without them interrupting? What about them recapping the conversation, showing you that they fully understood your feelings. For instance if they were to say, "It sounds to me like you are feeling ______ about this situation." Is it important to you that your s/o and you have a devoted time each day to talk about the daily goings-on in your life? Do you feel more secure in your relationship when you do quality activities together? Are lunch dates, picnics at the beach or strolls at the park important to you?

Receiving Gifts: Do you feel more loved when you receive gifts? Not only material things but the gift of your s/o's time and attention as well? Is it important to you that your s/o leave a box of chocolates for you or bring you home a rose for no apparent reason? What about a book they thought you might enjoy or a handmade gift, a painting or family picture collage? What about a Hallmark card professing their undying love for you out of the blue? Of course, we would all be excited at the thought of a new car, but what about new miniblinds for the livingroom that you set your eye on or an electric drill b/c the old one isn't quite functioning right anymore? Or even the gift of their time and presence spent at a community event they said they weren't going to attend with you?

Acts of Service: These are simple and yet to some are so very important. Is it important to you that your s/o help with daily duties at the house? Making the bed in the morning, fixing coffee for you even though they don't like it? Packing a lunch for you to take to work? What about helping out with cleaning up the kids' bedroom while you are fixing supper so you don't have to do it later? Fixing supper for you? Cleaning up the kitchen after supper? Washing the car or taking the car to get the oil changed instead of waiting on you to do it? What about before you are expecting company and they help get the house tidied up? Do things like this mean the world to you?

Physical Touch: Is it meaningful to you to have your s/o reach for your hand while you are in the car together? Or sitting on the couch watching the tube? Or walking around the department store? What about during times of crisis, do you feel like the situation would be much better if they held you? What about foot massages and back rubs? Do you feel most secure and loved when there is mind-numbing foreplay before sex? What about during supper at the table and your s/o plays footsies with you? Or when lying in bed, is it important that your s/o drape a leg over yours or have a hand on your back? Fiddling with your hair or caressing your neck? What about hugs and kisses every time they leave the house and again when they come back in? Or even when you are out in public, is it important to you that your s/o put their arm around you or shower you with kisses and pats on the butt?

I know all of these things are important in relationships, but put each of these five in order of importance to you. It's interesting also to see how your s/o puts their list in order. Your first love language may not be the same as your s/o! And even if you are single, it helps determine what you expect and how to address what a potential s/o expects!

Apparently we all have a "Love Tank" and when our needs aren't being met, our love tank isn't full. Sucks to be running on fumes man, it really sucks. The point is, what works for me may not work for Andy. For instance, if you are more of a Physical Touch person, but your s/o is Words of Affirmation... rubbing his shoulders isn't going to fill his Love Tank like telling him he's the bombdigity will. If you are the type who likes to Receive Gifts... when he tells you he loves you, it isn't going to do the trick.

I'm selfish. I have a hard time processing the needs of others any different than I would process mine. I have to actually step back from the issue and left-brain think it through before I know which way to go. It's not a natural thing for me. When folks are down, more specifically, when Andy's Love Tank isn't full (and you definitely know when your man's Love Tank isn't full) I tend to think of what I would want in that situation. Ba ha! Wrong answer! This book focuses on us giving them what they need in that situation, and how to effectively communicate what we need.

And to top this wonderful "ta-da" type moment book... there is a quiz! Yippee! You fill out your answers, and your s/o fills out the same quiz. Then you have this revelation of knowing for all these years (or months in our case) that you've been trying to fill their tank with what you would fill your own tank. It's like putting unleaded in a diesel engine. Just doesn't work.

Ok I'm done rambling about this. I just kind of had one of those step back moments last night when I realized my poor Andy is feeling neglected. I've noticed for the last couple of days his mood was different, but it didn't hit me until last night... that man is living on a half-empty tank. Shame on me because my tank is full!

If you are reading this Andy (because yesterday I finally gave him the link to my blog lol)... I love you very much and this weekend I'm gonna fill your tank baby! I'm gonna fill it up real good! *wink wink*

Writer's Workshop: Screw You Mrs. Villines!

2009-04-09T08:23:00.004-05:00

It's that time again...

Mama's Losin It has the following prompts for today's writing assignment:

1.) Describe a moment when you realized you and your spouse were SO different.

2.) What is your role in the household?

3.) Write about how you felt when you discovered you were lied to.(creativewritingprompts.com)

4.) Describe a hard time you gave a teacher...what would you say to them today?

5.) What is an unpleasant experience you had eating? Write a poem, paragraph, or something else about the experience.(writingfix.com)

I'm going with #4!

I was a senior in high school in the middle of nowhere, crotch of the US aka Oklahoma, on a dirt road in a rural area. Seriously, my graduating class was a whopping 12 kids. TWELVE! Our building was grade K thru 12. Amazingly small. As a kid my mom and I moved around a lot, and this is where we planted our feet for my final year and half of high school. What a treat!

My first three classes during the day were with Mrs. Villines. I had typing, accounting and something else... I really can't even remember. Then lunch and my last three classes. I was her top student, her pocket Ace! I was the one who seemed to grasp whatever she was teaching and helped out the other farmer-tards with their accounting, or lack thereof.

Well, Mrs. Villines knew a little bit of me... enough to know she didn't approve of my choice of boyfriend. He was black. I didn't think it was a big deal. Racism wasn't something I was raised to embrace... but in smalltown middle America, it wasn't as accepted. I was the black sheep. The smart girl with "problems". LOL

What I knew of Mrs. Villines was this. She was from another small town, married with a couple of (perfect) teen boys, and very active in church and community affairs.

I knew my boundaries with her. We couldn't talk shop in class, which is something she liked to do on a regular basis. I guess she was trying to keep the kids "current eventy" being we were stuck in Mayberry. She liked to discuss world news, politics, and... celebrity gossip. My opinions weren't smalltown and she didn't like it. My earlier years were spent in California, a melting pot of all races, ethnicities, religions... and she didn't like it.

Well... one day will never be forgotten in that class. This was when Magic Johnson was all up in the news revealing his positive HIV status. She hated him. She made it clear why. He was black. He was a cheater. He was HIV positive. She wanted the student's opinion on this man, especially mine. She asked. I declined to answer. "Cmon Denise, surely you have an opinion on this man, this matter." I declined. She pushed and pushed until finally I responded.

"I don't think we should judge him. He's human. Yeah, he did some dirty things, but you can't say that Cookie was completely in the dark either. She knew he was cheating. She had to know. And she stayed. Now all of a sudden he's a horrible man because he's got HIV? I don't feel that way."

I guess I lit a fire under her Prodestant skirt because Mrs. Holier Than Thou came over to my desk and started ranting at me, finger pointing and the whole nine. She brought up the color of his skin, I'm sure just to piss me off, and went as far as to say it's the black people who are bringing this disease to America.

I lost my cool.

I ranted back and told her that white, church going folks had HIV too, possibly even folks at her church, and that was a horrible way to look at things and I hope her God forgives her. I told her to look up the statistics on HIV/AIDS and learn how it is actually spread. I asked her if she would feel the same about one of her precious son's if they had HIV. And I finished off with the fact that the only reason this is getting so much press is because this man is famous, not because of the color of his skin... "just not lest ye be judged Mrs. Villines."

Then she lost it.

She grabbed me by my arm, jerked me out of my chair and lead me out of the classroom. This was first hour mind you. I had 2 more hours of this demon spawn, hated filled woman still left to go. I sat in the hallway for a few minutes and decided what I was going to do. I went to the principal's office and called my mama. Now, I'm the kid who never got in trouble (well, I never got caught) and I NEVER called my mama from school. She wasn't the parent/teacher conference type and she never had to make her presence known at my schools. I told her the lady put hands on me, told me I was being disruptive and kicked me out of class.

My mama showed up within 20 minutes.

Mrs. Villines met with my mama only to tell her that she thinks I have "psychological issues" and I "needed counseling". What the hell! I needed counseling? For what? Because I had an opinion and it didn't match hers? Because I was undeniably her BEST student, but I didn't follow her religious, biggot, racist Neo-Nazi outlook on life? Are you kidding me???

Needless to say, I was not in any of her classes for the remainder of the year. I was acquitted of my horrendous crime, allowed to return to class, but I refused to go back in there. My classes were changed by the principal and I would only shake my head at her when I saw her in the hallway. She tried to apologize afterward... but not a real apology. It was more like one of those "if only you would have been a good kid" kind of things.

And to her I say....

This message is being brought to you by the letters F and U.
SCREW YOU MRS. VILLINES! Screw you and all of your being you effing racist biotch!
I've managed to become a productive, happy, people-loving woman despite the ignorant views you tried to plant in my head! I love my life! I love my biracial child. I love my Native American man and his three beautiful kids, who are also part Mexican. I love our melting pot. I love our diversity. And I especially love that I didn't let you hold me back! May your God have mercy on your hate filled soul.

Crumbs in the Minivan: The Winner Takes it All

2009-04-08T14:40:00.001-05:00

Crumbs in the Minivan: The Winner Takes it All

Check it out! Fun giveaway for giving the correct artist on five song titles.

Cool giveaway, plus she's got a nifty blog.

What are ya waitin on? Go take a looksee!

I HEART ME!

2009-04-08T10:41:00.003-05:00

So I was grouchy earlier! Big deal! But I LOVE ME again! I've been so productive today... things are getting done, phone calls are getting made, the roofers are almost gone and the babies are being good. Could also have something to do with the four cups of coffee I've had so far this morning too! Either way, I'm going to take pleasure in my small glories so far today.

I LOVE me because:

Not only have I mopped the wood floors, but I have watered all my indoor seedlings, and let me tell you there are a ton! Can't wait to get them outside in their proper veggie beds.
I've talked to the roofer man to remind him to use that fancy magnetic thingy to look for nails... I don't like people and starting a conversation with strangers isn't my cup of tea... and acting like a bully and bossing him around isn't fun either... but I did it! I reminded him I have small children and I would be calling him on the way to the ER for payment information if one of my babies gets jabbed in the foot by a nail.
I have called the power company to tell them I'm a complete moron and I didn't sign the check I mailed last week and also to get the new acct number accessible online. Turns out I already activated it and forgot my user name lol.
I have called the phone company to establish an actual land line here. Since my last cell phone bill was nearly $200 I figured yet another bill would be justified. It's really not my fault. Andy calls me every day at lunch and I look forward to that time... we google and talk... it's "our" time. And then of course I have to talk to my sissy at least every other day. It's a must!
I have loaded the dishwasher and started it! I usually save that chore for the teen spawn, but I figured I'd get it done while I was meandering through the kitchen looking for a snacky.
I rock! Plain and simple. We all have good days and better days, the object is to keep the bad days at bay. We can do that by remembering every single day of our lives.... WE ROCK!

I love him because:

He gives me all the love and support a girl could ask for!
He has somehow managed to turn this trailer trash, divorce', single mama into a Holly-homemaker/school girl/work at home mommy who once again LOVES LIFE!
He loves me when I'm fat and bloated, when I'm ugly and my hair looks like I haven't put a comb through it in weeks, when I have morning breath and still need my kiss to function, when I am grouchy and PMSing, when I'm needy and PMSing, when I'm sarcastic and even when Aunt Flow rears her ugly head. He knows all my flaws and loves me in spite of them.
He completes me...

I love these guys because:

Who else could be a better 15 y/o than Nisha? She's gone through a lot in her precious 15 years on this planet and is the most empathetic, loving child in spite of it all. Granted she's a typical teen with typical dumb dumb teen ideas and occasional detention from school, but she's MY dumb dumb and I love her.
Who could be a better 10 y/o girl than DD... with her beautiful brown eyes and her love for her siblings? She's an incredible kid with an incredible imagination, not to mention, she brought home 6 A's and 3 B's on her report card! Go DD Go!
What more could you ask for than a 4 y/o with a bright personality, long golden hair, hypnotic blue eyes and a killer smile? Baby Love definitely takes the cake in this house with personality! She's always saying something funny like "Give me my Star Whores hat Monkey Boy!" when Monkey Boy won't give up her Star Wars snow hat or "Ohhhh pickles!" instead of "Oopsie" like most kids say.
And the boy... the 3 y/o boy... who I have lovingly named Monkey Boy. He's always running, jumping or climbing on something, and let me tell you, if he wants on top of the entertainment center he WILL get there. He's the only boy in the house, other than daddy, and you've got to love him for that!

I love Big K and Baby K because:

My day would be so humdrum without them pulling on my pants leg all day long
Because when I see them smile when they come through the door I know they love me
I love the smell of Baby K.... babies smell so yummy!
Big K is learning new things every day and I get to be a part of it

I love my small town because:

Where else can you find a BBQ at an Animal Hospital on any given Saturday? Seriously... the first shot is of the front of the building, and over to the left, at the Emergency Entrance to the Yukon Animal Hospital... they have a smoker fired up and are ready to cook...but WHAT TYPE OF ANIMAL may I ask are they cooking? Odd... to say the least.

Wednesday Woes

2009-04-08T07:33:00.002-05:00

Didn't sleep well last night, and every morning lately I've been waking up at 5 am. ACK! Well this morning I decided to get out of bed and be productive before the rest of the house was up. By 6:15 I had the livingroom and hallway swept and Murphy's on the floors. By 6:20 I realized that my floors need MUCH more attention, and I'll be calling my sissy, the expertive on wood floors, later this morning. Since she lives in Cali, the urge to call her at 6:20 am my time was subsided by the knowledge that I would be cussed out for waking her up at 4:20 am with questions of proper wood floor maintenance.

The household is up by 6:30 and ready to rock and roll by 7:15. Poptarts and chocolate milk for breakfast for the little ones (oh yeah, I'm a health nut) and the big one eats at school (at least she says she does). Andy doesn't do breakfast, so his routine morning coffee was enough for him.

I run to 7-Eleven to get cash for the teen b/c the mom of the year forgot she had to turn in her money today for their field trip to Arbuckle for a vocal competition.

We get Baby Love and Monkey Boy all tucked into their carseats, the teen ready to roll with her cappuchino money in hand. I move the polly-cart to the side of the house (trash day was yesterday) and politely remind Andy our house is a pit because we don't put thinks away after we are done with them. Hug and kiss everybody and Andy drives away.

I'm in a good mood! Normally I'm a grouch in the mornings, and I figured since I was up before the buttcrack of dawn today, I would be extra grouchy. Not the case...

Until I walk back in the house.

Poptart crumbs all on the floor in the newly swept and mopped livingroom. Grrrr!

While I'm sweeping that back up, I notice that half the kitchen cabinets are open. Grrrr!

Seriously... why does that happen? I mean, does it take that much more effort to close the damn cabinet than it did to open it? I sent Andy into the kitchen to make his own lunch this morning b/c I had to run to the ATM. Normally this is my job. I like it. Feels like I'm doing something special for him and he appreciates it...at least I tell him he appreciates it. I pack a lunch with sides (usually leftovers), an orange, a tangelo, and a small container of this powder fiber crap that he thinks he needs lol. Today I do a bag check and he's got a hamburger patty with cheese over it, no sides and no fruit. But he didn't forget his damn fiber! So I get him a small baggy of chips and throw it in there and he tells me he's got an orange left at work. Whatever. He just didn't want me to know he can't pack a lunch.

Anyway... I'm in the kitchen, closing all the open cabinets and then I notice every damn light in the house is on, along with every TV.

It never ends.

So I got a facelift...

2009-04-07T12:34:00.002-05:00

Whatcha think? I did it all by myself! I'm so proud of me. I need to get my buttons back on there, but then I'm all done. Go me! Thanks for the suggestions... I guess I just needed to blog about my blog dreams so I would be pressured into making them come true lol.

Right now... I'm listening to the roofers hammer away during naptime no less, and the boombox with some Mexican station blaring on my roof has got to be lovely for my neighbors. At first I was grouchy about it, but while I was in the kitchen, I found myself dancing. Alone.
Right now... I've got banana nut bread in the oven. I'm not sure why. Hair up my butt about what to do with those bananas that have been sitting on the counter for four days probably. We have Andy's kids tonight so it will be a nice treat. Except... I suck at baking. I screw it up every time. I burn the bread for dinner on a constant basis. I'm not sure why I try to out-do Andy in the baking arena.... Afterall, he IS the male version of Martha Stewart.
Right now... I'm tapping my feet to the radio station that is clearly not in English, but how can I not when the boombox appears to be directly over my head.
Right now... I should be doing these damn wooden floors while the kids are asleep, but this is much more fun.
Right now... I'm avoiding work at all costs.
Right now... I'm thinking I might go buy a new grill after Andy gets home from work. Avocado burgers will be SO yum tonight on a perfectly new grill.
Right now... I'm going to check on the bread in the oven. It smells so flippin YUM!

Tuesday's Daily Dilly Dally...and Maalox

2009-04-07T08:58:00.002-05:00

First of all, thank you for the "Compose" button clue. Really, I swear I'm not an eeeediot. I created an intranet site for a company I worked for, but that was all raw HTML code and I feel useless if I just have to click the mouse.

Something I did last night: Managed to somehow get my 100 pages read, two 1-page papers written for class, and even participated in the class discussions on the Holocaust. Wonderful Andy doesn't think I participate in class (because he swears I hate people) but I really did last night. I talked like I knew what I was talking about... nevermind the odd glances in my direction or the "what planet is she from" stares.

Something I learned today: The kids showed up this morning with less butt issues and I learned a neat trick. Maalox (check out my new use of colors!) cuts the acid in pee-pee, so it makes it less painful to change the diaper of a kid with super-red-butt. However, there are no handy tricks to make sure the Maalox doesn't get all over the couch when you try to pour it on the butt-paste... but I guess I'd rather have a mint flavored couch than a screaming kid and end up elbow deep in butt-paste again.

(check out my use of bullets! YAY, go winda-licker! Ok, I'm over it.)

Something that pissed me off so far today:
I get an email from my boss. Yeah, that's right... I work at home and I have a boss. Apparently, in my bliss of thinking I don't really have a job (outside the home of course) I've been slacking on my actual check-I-get-every-two-weeks job and decided blogging was much more fun. I mean really, how boring is it to type about snotty nosed kids going to the ER b/c their parents don't have a PCP or insurance for that matter. Or typing about every chest pain in the State of Oklahoma that turns out to be the japaleno peppers wrapped in bacon and filled with cream cheese from the BBQ the day before. Or typing about the dummies who saw half of their hands off while reaching for that wire they ran over moments before under the RUNNING lawnmower. And I can't leave out the cat fights at the bar where one broad gets pissed off because her "honey" is buying shots for some tootsie roll in a too tight mini skirt and tank top that's trying to disguise her "muffin top" (yanno, that fat roll the bulges out of the top of jeans... looks like a muffin top dontcha think?)

Anywayyyy... jeeze I can't stay on target for the life of me!

So I get this email telling me I better shape up and do at least my daily requirements or they want their "equipment back"... and by "equipment" I mean the computer that I'm typing on right this second. Pfffffft! I'm not giving up my computer. Nevermind the fact that I have another desktop and a laptop in the house, and my school will be issuing me another laptop (included in my tuition) in the next few months. No way... no how.... am I giving up this PC.

Who does she think she is? Telling me I need to actually "work" in order to claim having a job! I have worked for this company for 15 years and my boss is like a surrogate mom to me. I've worked in the office, I've worked at home. Sometimes I'm a super-producer and bringing in the big bucks, and sometimes I like to take it easy and pretend like I don't have a job. I like the option of not working when I don't want to. Some days the blogs I read can keep me busy (between chasing the two kids around during the day yanno... I don't just ignore them... all of the time) for at most of the day. And if they are particularly funny or hit home for me, I can be knee deep in blogs by 10am. Then there are the blog rolls that I must check out, especially if they have catchy titles! I've got to at least just glance at the blog, only then will I know if I really want to stalk them. Not to mention, I've got to take a peek at my MySpace and see if my brother put anymore pics up and stalk my local friends, friends from high school, bar friends, and check up on my kid's MySpace(it's the right thing to do... snoop on your kids). THEN... I have to check my daily gardening blogs and forums for any new growth, take pictures of my garden-in-the-kitchen-that-has-started-blooming-and-can't-wait-to-be-move-outside so I can post them for the world to see. And FINALLY, I have to check my school website to see if my instructor graded my last paper yet, if my "Discrete Math" grade is posted yet... etc.

I have a LOT to do before I can work ya'll!

So this morning, while I'm preparing for work, I'm thinking of all the other things I need to get done around here and somehow end up on damn blogpost again. How.Does.That.Happen!

In my defense, I do have until the 10th to reply to her email.

And finally, something I'm going to gloat about: I missed class last week because ~~I was totally unprepared for class and lost my book~~ my kid was sick so I emailed my 5-page paper on The Night. I was very anxious about this paper because not only did I write it an hour before it was due, I was submitting to my instructor who is also a published author and screenplay writer. Sooo, for a week I was waiting and waiting, checking my email 2398407234 times a day for a response. Finally, yesterday I checked before I went to class and he responded:

I have graded your paper and I will not be submitting a printed copy with corrections... because there was absolutely nothing wrong with your paper. You are a tallented writer. A+!

Woo hoo! Go Okie girl! (Did you also notice my use of "block quote" feature? Huh? Huh? Did ya? I'm gonna be an expertive blogger before long I tell ya!)

I Want to Be Pretty Too!!!

2009-04-06T12:43:00.002-05:00

I want a pretty page for my blog and pretty pics of my kids and my Andy and pretty sayings and my own button and all that stuff too!

I want a fancy layout with dragonflies and cool stuff too! I figured it can't be any harder than MySpace, but jeeze man, I'm looking and I just can't find what I want. And I don't have the fancy programs to make a pretty one myself, nor do I have the gumption or a creative bone in my body to come up with anything all fancy either.

I figured out how to put buttons on my page, but where do I go to make a button? Who is the genius behind all of these buttons! I.Must.Have.One!

I want to be able to change the color of my text as I see fit WHILE I'm blogging, instead of just having the the stupid bold and italic options that I see in the window.

I want to be able to make indented, number lists and use strikethrough because I think that's the coolest thing ever!

I want to be able to put my writing next to my picture instead of my picture and writing only above or below it!

Thanks to Ruggy and her gracious offer of blog-IQ for dummies, I can now do links.

But I wanna learn all that other fancy stuff too dang it! I'm like the short bus rider here. I'm the resident winda-licker and I wanna be one of the cool kids with pretty blogs.

I have a real following here... a whopping 7 folks who stop their lives to read my antics... I need for it to be PRETTY!

Thrift Stores and the Stinky Lady

2009-04-06T12:10:00.004-05:00

I guess I'm on a roll today with the "shit" stories. But while I was stalking other blogs, this funny memory from this weekend popped in my head.

Ever been driving down the street and something funny happen and you want to write yourself a note so you can remember to blog about it? That happened ALL WEEKEND LONG! Andy kept me laughing the whole weekend, only I didn't write anything down, because he'd think I was nutzo about this blog thing and so now I have nothing to blog about... Except shit.

Ok ok, back to the story.

So we had three of the four kids this weekend (the oldest was with her bio-dad, and by bio I mean that shithead rarely goes out of his way for this kid unless he gets a phone call with my foot coming straight out of the receiver aiming for his tail-end, and sometimes that doesn't even work so I call his wife and tell on him :D).

Anyhoo - we like to meander through thrift stores. I admit it, I'm a thrift store junkie. Now I'm not the old lady buying undies and fancy dresses for a buck, but I will get the kids play clothes, books (because I have time to read LOL), and occasionally I'll find some neat Nascar stuff for Andy. We just browse through there really and if anything hits home for us, we'll get it. The kids have a ball. I love that our kids don't care that we are in a thrift store and not Macy's buying $85 jeans for them to rip to shreds or grow out of in a week.

Jeeze - get to the story lady!

So the tween is trying on some shorts. She's in an odd size right now, so we just pick up what looks like will fit and have her try them on. Next to the ONE AND ONLY dressing room in this joint is the wall of books. I'm in book heaven! Well, on the other end of the book wall there is a lady, also seeing the jackpot of reading material, browsing through each and every book, moving her finger along as she reads title outloud. I'm not sure if she was just practicing reading aloud, or if this was a normal process for her... either way it was distracting to me and I couldn't focus on what the hell I was doing.

A few minutes into her title search, we met in the middle of the book wall and had to switch sides with each other. She moved in front of me and politely said "Excuse me." I backed up, but apparently not far enough. This woman smelled like pure D poop! I thought at first, maybe she farted and the smell would go away. Hell to the nawl... that smell had some hang time baby! It was rank, disgusting and I'm not sure exactly how she could stand the smell of herself. Ewwwww! And THEN, this lady squats down so she could read aloud all of the book titles on the bottom shelf! Oh-my-God lady! So just squish all the jam you got in your chonies all around will ya! Gag! I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about this story.

So I gracefully move to the END of the wall-o-books, out of the nasal-scope of stinky lady. My beloved, sweet, charming Andy walks up and looks at a few books. I step away because I know in my heart of hearts, this man that I love so dearly, is going to say something outloud and my face will turn 10 shades of red, embarrassing for both the stinky lady and myself.

The tween comes out of the dressing room and goes to her dad's side.

Andy: PEW! Tween, did YOU do THAT?!?!?!?! (he's a grown man ya'll, and NOT a quiet one at ALL!)

Tween: Ewww! Gross daddy! That wasn't ME!

I turned and headed for the register, trying to hide from my family. I can't imagine the look on stinky lady's face, or why she stunk to high heaven and thought it would be cool to hang out at the thrift store.

Poopsie Daisy

2009-04-06T10:41:00.003-05:00

It's Monday morning, and so far, the day is shitty... literally.

The kids I watch during the day have an awful bout of squirts. Baby K, 10 months, has saturated her clothes already and her mom sent the handy dandy buttwipe container only HALF FULL today. Nice. She has a God-awful rash and screams everytime I change her diaper. I manage to get elbow deep in poop and butt-paste. Poor baby, just breaks my heart :(

Then Big K runs to the toilet earlier and hollers for me.

Big K: Denise!

Me: What? (A rhetorical question mind you. I figured it was the routine "wipe my butt" conversation we have at least once a day)

Big K: There is poop in my panties.

Me: (Walking down the hall toward the bathroom) Did you poop your pants K?

Big K: Nope.

Me: Then how is there poop in your panties?

Big K: I don't know. But there is poop in there. Look. (she points)

Me: Yep, you're right. There's poop in there. Lets get them off so I can wash them. Stand up so I can wipe your butt.

Big K: I can't.

Me: Why?

Big K: Because I have poop on my butt.

Me: Are you done pooping?

Big K: Yes.

Me: Then stand up.

Big K: I can't. The poop is stuck.

I get the child to stand up and sure enough, there's poop stuck to her butt. Poor kid. This is the kid who can't stand touching dirt, anything sticky, washes her hands constantly and freaks out if she spills something on her clothes.

So me, being super mom *cough cough*, I go in for the wipe... and my damn hoodie strings jump out of nowhere and land right in the poop blob just as I go to wipe. Now I've got poop stuck to my dangling string, a stinky kid in one hand and toilet paper in the other! Nobody move! Gross!

All I can do is shake my head.

So I finish up with Big K and the phone rings. I rip off my hoodie, take the poo'ed panties, Baby K's onsie and pants and throw them all in the washer so I can answer the phone. It was my beloved Andy calling for the 4th time today; the first time to tell me to have a good day (aww how sweet), the second time to tell me that I forgot to sign the check for the water bill so they are sending it back to me (ditz I swear, and I was trying to be so organized!) and the third time was to tell me he got a quote at Geico that could save us $15/month LOL.

Andy: Whatcha doin?

Me: Seriously?

So I tell him the shitty stories I had so far and then proceed to tell him exactly how much toilet paper we've used since the 1st. TEN flippin rolls of toilet paper VANISHED in five days! I'm the toilet paper nazi I guess, being that I even took the time to count the rolls. I think it's mostly because I changed the roll 9 of the damn TEN times it needed to be changed.

Andy: Well, it wasn't me. I don't even use toilet paper when I poop.

Me: I'm hanging up now.

Ok ok, he's trying to be funny. He DOES wipe his butt, I promise. I think. God I hope so!

It's That Time Again... Ladies!

2009-04-06T09:48:00.003-05:00

Alright ladies, it's that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So ladies, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me...

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl 's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $20 or $25 and worth EVERY penny, especially if you get in the massaging chairs, mmmm).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Pee Pee Dance

2009-04-03T12:53:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here, all alone, in the quad room (office/den/laundry room/dart room) and I really gotta go pee. I'm doing the chair version of the pee pee dance, and seriously, it's not fun.

I've finally gotten the two kids that I keep during the day down for nap time and let me tell you, the baby fought me tooth and nail. Every time I'd get her all settled in her play pen, I'd walk out of the room and she'd stand up and throw her bottle out of the cage. Not funny little girl! So I go back in there... lay her back down, stick the bottle back in her mouth, mush the blankey up to her side and watch her eyes roll into the back of her head... hopefully a sign that she's going to sleep and not that I've given her a concussion. Leave the room again, and she's up and throwing that damn bottle out of the cage again. Finally, on the third try... after I let her cry for about 5 minutes... she's down. It appears that her 3 y/o sister is down for the count as well. Yippee! Auntie gets quiet time.

I meander into the quad room, thinking I've got some peace and quiet to stalk more blogs... er, I mean work... yeah, that's it... WORK... and I've got to pee like a Russian racehorse. Only I'm too scared to venture back into the rest of the house, through the dining room, slide through the livingroom, down the hall and finally to the torlet. Why? Because my damn floors squeak and crack everytime my elephant ass steps on them!

So I sit here, trying to occupy my mind of anything other than the fact that I'm going to pee my pants, my feet tapping the floor, knees locked together and a grimace on my face... seriously, I could be turning blue right now but I don't have a mirror down here to check.

So while I was searching google pics high and low for an image that described my predicament... I ran across this Kenyatta Jones story on TMZ when he tried to pee on a dance floor.

Wowzerz! That reminds me of a gross story. I was at a club one time (mind you, I was still in my 20s and clubbing was the in thing) and this chick, who was apparently having a visit from "Aunt Flow", was a drunken dancing fool that night, in her miniskirt and barely there top. Well, I guess she got a little too jiggy with it b/c her "plug" somehow managed to find itself on the dancefloor. Drunk as she was, she didn't seem to notice her nickname was immediately changed to Bloody Mary as the other club patrons pointed and laughed, all the while backing away from the dancefloor and "Mary".

I told you.... gross.

And with that story out of the way, I bid thee farewell... I'm off to pee.

Come out, come out, wherever you are....

2009-04-03T09:37:00.007-05:00

I'm in the kitchen this morning scrounging around for something to snack on while I work (bahahaha, I'm actually stalking blogs and commenting). I have my Pepsi that the mom of the kids who I babysit was kind enough to surprise me with this morning WOOHOO! Now I needed a snack. I don't do real breakfast, except on the weekends, because that will just put me in a coma and I'll sleep right through the morning and not get any work (blogging) done.

I went grocery shopping the other day and accidentally bought a few things that we didn't need... I justify this by claiming everything was on sale and even if we didn't need it, you can never have too much. Andy thinks I'm nuts and preparing for WW3 or really concerned about the recession. I think like this... he gets paid once a month... when I work (lol) I get paid every two weeks... when we are nearing the end of the month and I need pasta to fix our family Pennsagna recipe and the bank laughs at me, all I have to do is open up the pasta drawer and voila! Dinner will be as scheduled.

Looking for my snackies this morning, I open cabinet #1:

Seriously... who needs 5 bottles of salad dressing?

Then cabinet #2:

Now I know you can't see all of what's in there... but check this. Somehow I managed to rack up 5 jars of peanut butter, 2 bottls of syrup, 4 jars of Miracle Whip (including one jar of Light Miracle Whip in the back that nobody will touch), 2 bottls of squeezable grape jelly, 2 bottles of catsup and I can't see if there is anything behind that.

Nothing I can immediately shove into my mouth...

Moving along to cabinet #3:

Here we have 3 bottles of apple juice, 4 boxes of 10-pack juice packs, 3 jars of sweet relish and 1 bottle of mustard.

Again, nothing that I'm looking for.

Off to cabinet #4:

This is actually a drawer... a drawer filled with nothing but wheat pasta. There are 4 boxes of Rotini, 1 box of Penne, 2 boxes of Lasagna and 6 boxes of thin Spaghetti. We like pasta! LOL

Nothing that will give me my fix as of yet...

Next cabinet, #5:

You can't really see how much is in there, but this is twice as deep as the picture shows. Every thing from canned veggies, every canned tomato product known to man, soups and broths, I don't even know how many tuna cans (I love tuna and crackers).

Still nothing to help me out. What the crap man! There has got to be something in this flippin house to snack on! And that was only half of the cabinets... all neatly arranged with the lables facing forward... Ahh the joys of kitchen-OCD. But where are my dang snackies!!!

And just then I remembered! JACKPOT!

I have a secret hidey hole for my snack crackers... with 4 kids it's hard to call "dibs" on your favorite snackies, so I just hide them. I've bought the nastiest looking crackers, the wheat kind with absolutely no flavor thinking the kids wouldn't like them. Pffft, they snarf them down just like Doritos. I buy them their own boxes of fruty snacks so they leave my stuff along, but to no avail. Apparently nasty wheat original flavored wheat thins are better than Dora the Explorer fruity snacks! So in the quad room (the garage that's been remodeled and turned into the laundry room/den/office/dart room) I have some built in cabinets over my desk filled with paint and junk for the house. This is the one place the kids would never look, especially for food... so I've hidden my Cheez-Its and Triscuits there.

Life is wonderful again... what more could I ask for than my 32 oz Big Gulp of Pepsi and Cracked Pepper & Olive Oil Triscuits...Ahhhh!

Thursday Revelation

2009-04-02T12:31:00.003-05:00

So I'm addicted to reading blogs. I'm not sure what the issue is with me. Perhaps the virtual world is much more exciting than reality... perhaps I'm looking for a different perspective on my own reality. Perhaps I'm just avoiding work.

Anyway you look at it, the blogs I'm recently reading (stalking is more accurate) are all about how perfectly delicious every mom in the world is. How little Jimmy dropped jelly on the floor and she didn't freak out even though it's new cream colored carpet... or how princess Susie gets read to every night... or how hubby is so perfect! Where do I sign up for a life like that???

I, for one, am perfectly imperfect. I'm frumpy, I don't like people, my kids get on my nerves, my job sucks, my schoolwork is always behind and poor Andy gets the brunt of it all. I'm not at all in a bad mood... I'm in a perfect mood! I'm in a "lets be real" mood.

I've got tattoos, been pierced in places other than my ears and love to drink a cold one at my local bar. I occasionally enjoy strip clubs and tip both the males and females. I love to play darts in smokey bars filled with rednecks and local trailer trash.

My kids and my man are my life. Don't get it twisted. I wouldn't trade them for the world. But let's face it... when the teen starts wearing too much make-up and I tell her, "You look like that hooker I saw on 1st and Main last week" or when the 3-year-old intentionally whacks his 4-year-old sister in the head with a branch he found in the backyard, my first instinct isn't to tell him "Now play nice son."

Life is complicated. Life is wonderful. Life throws lemons and without sugar, that lemonade is going to suck big time.

I curse, I wear "Corona" sweatshirts and I spank my kids. I bite my nails, I have fat dimples on my ass and I don't own a brush. And sometimes, when the kids pass out in their clothes, I let them sleep OVERNIGHT in them! Gasp! I make my bed every morning and think my room is clean. I rant b/c I'm the only one who changes the tiolet paper roll and I sometimes will even burn dinner just so everyone knows they are blessed to have a good meal served.

Thurday's Revelation: I'm human! And my family understands me and loves me in spite of it...

I Am My Mother's Daughter

2009-04-02T09:32:00.003-05:00

Another writing assignment from Mama's Losin It and I've chosen prompt #4:

In what ways are you turning into your mother?

I say things like "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" to the kids. My mom used to say this to me, although I don't remember being a crybaby.

I find myself researching everything I don't know everything about. She's a nerd, a complete google nerd (well she was before the panic attacks lol) and now I sit here being a google-whore looking for more and more information on things I will never need or use. Like which of the 4,000 varieties of tomatoes will grow best in Oklahoma. Really, I don't care b/c I just bought the first ones I saw on the shelf-o-seeds at Wally World.

Or how I find myself meandering through the house in my jammies, my fancy purple housecoat that zips in the front... along with my white ankle socks and tennies (for when I venture out to check the mail of course). I made fun of my mom for walking around in her ankle length, African print moo-moo's, leg warmers and tennies all my life... and what do I prance around in???

Or even how I am addicted to infomercials and think everything they have up for grabs will somehow enhance my life. She has every item ever sold and tries to give them to me when she decides they don't work as good as she was convinced they would. Like the rechargeable vacuum cleaner she pawned off on me. She thought it was a great idea! I had a small apartment and didn't really need a huge one. What she didn't take into consideration was that is wouldn't actually suck anything up and when trying to move it across the floor, (the fancy feature, the one that sold her, of it being broken down into several pieces for easy storage), it would fall apart in your hands. So you're left with five disconnected pieces, loud noises from the mini-engine run by hampsters, and shit still all over the floor! I, on the complete other side of the coin, thought the "Hip Hop Abs" by BeachBody would greatly improve my body and I could incorporate that into something my teen and I could do together. I watched the infomercial intently, studying everything they had to offer, the cost, delivery time, results interviews. I was hooked! I called the number and paid for prompt shipping, had them deduct another $25 each month out of my acct for this fitness website to jot down our success, keep in touch with other members, see other offers, etc. All systems go! We were ready to rock the world, and our apartment, with our new bodies! Ba ha! That thing came in and while the teen was putting in the million DVD's one by one, I was sitting on the couch, smoking a cig and almost broke a sweat! I was exhausted just from watching them. Not one time did I get up off my fat arse to engage in the $100 investment I purchased for the both of us. Instead, I loaned them to a fat friend.

On the nicer side, she was one of the strongest women I've ever known! Even though she's a bit nutzo now (clinically diagnosed) and has a hard time with reality... I think Andy has at least another 30 years with me before I'm straight-jacket bound. Lucky him!

Bartender...I'll have a Chewbacca please!

2009-03-31T13:13:00.003-05:00

So Andy and I are at the bar Friday night for the $500 dart tournament. We rarely get out to these anymore and thought since this was a kid-free zone all weekend we'd venture out into the snow and go play darts.

Now this is a whole-in-the-wall Redneck bar with a bunch of drunk old farts, random trailer trash chicks wearing way too much makeup and prancing about in their coochie cuttin jeans. My friend is the bartender there and she's brought in a younger crowd, plus the "dart peeps" are there... and if you've ever played darts or seen a tournament, this is an entirely different world of people lol.

Well you mix all these folks up and you've got my favorite bar in town. The drinks are strong and cheap, the company is good for a laugh, and there is darts and karaoke every Friday night! I love it!

So my good ole boy Rusty is perched on his usual spot at the bar. He's like "Norm" from Cheers. He's a totally sarcastic, always drunk, rather rotund man who looks to be in his 50s. For some reason when I first started coming to this bar, Rusty took a liking to me and he's been my protector of sorts. He might be big, and he might be a drunk ole fart, but he can kick some bar butt!

I'm on my way to the juke box b/c Andy wants to hear "Country Boy Can Survive", one of his dart playing mojo songs he loves to hear. Rusty pulls me over to him and starts yapping about a new shot he's been doing at the bar. Now, he's a Jager kind of man and I couldn't imagine him venturing off.

Rusty: Denise, you've got to try this one. It's a Chewbacca.

Me: Like Star Wars Chewbacca? Ok what's in it? (I'm always game for a new shot!)

Rusty: Hell I don't know. All I know is I had three of them the other night and it did for me what 10 Jager's would do...

Me: Well you know Rusty, you have a Jager-tolerance like no other. NOBODY can put away Jager like you. Is this shot gonna put me on my ass?

Rusty: No no, it's good. And it's sweet too. It was so sweet I had to have a lemon. Don't even need a chaser. C'mon just try one with me.

Me: I'm going to ask Cathy (the bartender) what's in it. I don't trust you. You're just trying to get me drunk so I'll try out your new bath towels! (Long story - maybe I'll share that one another time LOL)

So I meander over to Cathy ask what the hell Rusty is talking about:

Me: Cathy, he says he's got a new shot for me...a Chewbacca.

Cathy: A what?

Me: A Chewbacca. What's in it?

Cathy: Never heard of it. Where did he get it?

Rusty: C'mon Cathy. It's that damn shot you've been giving me for the last three nights!

Immediately Cathy cracks up. Rusty and I are standing there looking stupid because we don't get it.

Cathy: That's TUACA Rusty, not CHEWBACCA!

After I finished pointing and laughing at Rusty, I bought him a Chewbacca. He wasn't lying, it is Yum!

Toilet Paper Nazi

2009-03-31T09:37:00.003-05:00

I'd just like to know... for real... am I the only one in this house who knows:
Where we keep the toilet paper?

How to get a new roll on the fancy little toilet paper holder?

How to rinse off dishes with the oh-so difficult to use faucet?

What all the intricate buttons on the dishwasher mean? "Start" being the hardest one to figure out I guess.

When the trash can is full, that the bag full of nastiness can be transferred out to the polly cart in about 15 steps?

Exactly where the new trash bags are kept?

How many items can fit in the washing machine without it making a CLANK CLANK THUD noice b/c it can't spin properly?

That bras should not go in the dryer?

That the entertainment center is for entertainment, not a catch-all for homework, books, keys, mail, trash and receipts?

The tool box is where we keep the tape measure, screwdrivers and hammer... not in the place where we last used them?

To make the vaccum cleaner work, all you need to do is plug it in and push?

And the fancy thing about the broom is, you don't even have to plug it in?

The toybox is where the toys go, not under the couch, under the playpen, under the dining room table and on top of the damn entertainment center?

That sanded and beautifully refinished desk, efforts of Andy, in the teen/tween room is actually for homework?

An after school snack does not consist of 35 pizza pockets and some tater tots smothered with catsup and ranch dressing?

If you trip 15 times over your tennis shoes sitting in the middle of the livingroom floor, that's actually a signal to put them where they belong instead of grunting and moving them over a few inches?

When I say I need to see your bedroom floor before you go to bed tonight doesn't mean swoop all the clothes into a pile behind the door and hope they find their own way to the washing machine?

Seriously... am I the only one who knows these things?

LOSER!

2009-03-30T13:40:00.002-05:00

OMG I can't believe I have lost one of my Holocaust books LOL! I was diligently working this morning and early afternoon and finished up my paper on Elie Wiesel's Night. Ok, so I'm digging through my handy dandy book bag and can't find the other book. I have two 1-page conversation starters due tonight (and no ink in my printer mind you, so I'd have to go to the school early to print them) and I can't find the damn book! How in the hell do I have Maus, Night, two copies of the syllabus and then I misplace just ONE of the books? I haven't even cracked that book open yet and it's gone! GRRRRRRRRR

Best case scenario it's in the minivan and I'm not a complete dope.

However, this is NOT a class I will attend unprepared, so I guess I'll be skipping tonight. Crap! I like this class and for the first time since I've been back in school, I don't want to SKIP!

Ok, back to searching for the book. I wonder if it somehow got in the toddler's toybox... hmmmm.

Writing...

2009-03-29T18:03:00.002-05:00

So I ran across the blog... Mama's Losin It (one day I swear I'm going to figure out this linking thing in here) and she posts a writing exercise every Wednesday. I'm going to try this out. I'm not good at following directions, or following through... lol, so this might be my only week. I have, however, enjoyed reading the many responses... there are many, many talented folks out there with great stories!

Prompt 3: What are you putting off right now?

Homework. Need I say more? I should, since this is an exercise for writing huh?

I'm enrolled in a private Christian university to finally finish up my degree, a journey that I started 15 years ago mind you, and I'll be the first to say... some of their classes are really odd.

We have 5-week sessions, 5 sessions in a semester, and end up with 15 credits. Nice. We get to work on one class at a time, and although we are there for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT, it's really not that bad, being one night a week. The down side is the amount of reading required... especially if it's a subject you aren't thrilled about.

Current class: Intro to Holocaust.

Yeah, I'm a HUGE procrastinator and as I sit here "exercising my mind", I'm feeling guilt. Because I should be finishing up (I've got my first paragraph done dang it) my 5-7 page review on the book "Night" by Elie Weisel. I should also be reading the six articles and picking two of which to do my 1-page conversation starters on.

Blogging... homework... blogging... homework.

Blogging wins. Hands down.

But blogging wasn't how I started my day. Where in the hell did the day go? It's 5pm and I'm still not any further in my homework than when I got up at 9. What about Saturday? I have no idea where that day went either. I know I was hung over. But darts on Friday night was SO much fun. Not to mention my wonderful Andy brought home the bacon by taking 1st in the $500 tournament! Go baby go!

I have the attention span of a fly. I've neglected my cleaning duties that I generally save for the weekends, I haven't done a lick of homework and my fat arse is still sitting right here... in front of this PC.

talking to myself -->>I really don't have to do it today. I'm good at working on the fly... I've got until 6pm tomorrow before class to finish my paper and get my reading and other papers done. No biggy!<<--

Ok... I've talked myself into it. I'll grab the laptop Andy is currently playing virtual pool on and head to my room for some quiet and much needed homework devotion time...

...right after I read another 234897234 blogs

~20 Questions~

2009-03-27T10:38:00.002-05:00

I swiped this from another blog, and if I wasn't blogger challenged, I'd be smart enough to link it here... LOL (any help would be lovely, and thank you in advance)

1. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a doctor b/c I was scared of blood and I wanted to get used to it lol. My mom has an "interview" on tape where I said that.

2. What have you done in the past week to help someone else?
Alerted the proper authorities about an alleged abuse allogation with one of my kid's friends.

3. Who is the best-dressed person you know?
Probably would be my sister and her man. They do fancy stuff.

4. What is on your nightstand?
Lamp, a book and an alarm clock.

5. If you were a cat, what kind of a cat would you be?
The kind that poops outside. No WAY would I stick my feet in the sand that I just pooped in earlier! GROSS!

6. If you lived in a house surrounded by acres of trees, what particular type of tree would you want flourishing on your land?
Um, the kind that's big and green?

7. What do you find to be very overrated?
Binge dieting.

8. How many email addresses do you have?
Two.

9. Have you ever felt replaced?
Not that I can remember.

10. Would you rather watch football or baseball?
Football.

11. What is the wallpaper on your phone?
A pic of my kid.

12. Name a lyric from the song you're listening to.
I'm listening to the rumble of my PC.

13. Do you use a feed reader?
Google reader.

14. What chocolate do you always leave in the box?
All of them. I don't like chocolate.

15. What would you do if you found out your ex is engaged?
Any one of my ex's I don't care about, but when I found out my child's father was engaged, I felt relieved.

16. Do words hurt you?
Only from the ones closest to me.

17. Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both?
I talk and I listen. I get bored easily though, so if I'm not looking right at you, I'm probably not listening. And even when I'm looking straight at you, if you take too long to get to the point, my mind has already wandered off into never never land.

18. Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
Yup - LOVE IT!

19. Who is your favorite professional athlete?
As if...

20. Which TV show have you seen pretty much every episode of?
Law & Order: Criminal Intent (only the ones with Vincent D'Onofrio of course)

I Figured out my "Bear"

2009-03-27T09:33:00.002-05:00

I've been talking with my sister, who is much more atune to the planetary involvement in my life than I (yes, I have had charts drawn up and do think if the atmosphere can control the tides of seas, it certainly has a bearing on my being as well), about my bear sightings as of late. It's a weird feeling to stand back from yourself and take a gander at what has been going on. And hard to do. So I call my sissy to help me figure things out and to get another perspective. She knows me so well and thinks outside the box.

Anyhoo - We had a fiascal (yeah, that's right, fiascal is really a word in the dictionary of my head) Wednesday night. Our 15 y/o has a friend who has been talking about running away. I guess she deemed last night to be "the night". She made claims of being hit at home by a drunken parent, a step-parent who works at some unknown bar who leaves for work at 4:30 in the morning and doesn't come home until the wee hours of the night, a bio mom in another state that she is at odds with, and no other local family to turn to. Ok... I smell lies. Regardless, there is a teenager at my door in the middle of the night with her bags packed and obviously in distress, not to mention a nice little red mark on her face showing the alleged assault.

Without getting into too much detail here, Andy and I decided we would be the "safe house" for ONE NIGHT only, but the next morning she would have to let her father know where she was. Half of me didn't even want to go that far and I figured her father or the police would be at my door before sun-up looking for her. At this point I thought her father knew where we lived, since this kid is at my house EVERY single school day from the time she gets out of school until about 5 pm, but I later learned she kept that a secret from her dad (imagine that!).

We made it through the night without the police or her father. Andy took the girls to school like normal and then called the principal to give her heads up. I know the principal personally and love her to pieces. She has kept a watchful eye out on my kid since she has been in that school and couldn't be more grateful.

We did our part and informed the school who then had to proceed with their legal obligations of notifying the father, the police and of course CPS b/c of the alleged abuse. All we had to go on was the words of this kid, whether we believed them or not, we had to get folks involved. Turns out this kid really needs some serious counseling. Her father reported her missing to the police that night, but there wasn't much that could be done... and from what I've learned, this isn't the first episode for this child.

We learned so much about this whole ordeal from a source who will remain a mystery, but a source I totally trust, and I've come to the conclusion that whether the allegations are true or not, this child needs help. She is crying out for something and the road ahead will be a long one, for both she and her parents, if she doesn't learn how to cope and deal with whatever is eating at her.

Point of this whole story is... she was my bear. The interpretation of my dream is this: The gun that I couldn't reload in the dream represented the extend of the help I could offer. I threw up my hands that night and told Andy I didn't know how to handle this... so I stayed in bed while he let the girl in and talked to her about the situation. I let the bear near him. The bear nearly attacking Andy was a sign that there was something coming that neigher one of us would be able to handle alone and we would have to call for some help. Before I even realized she was my bear, the minute we talked to the school principal, I felt an emormous load lifted from my shoulders, and so did Andy.

Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY!

2009-03-25T07:51:00.003-05:00

"Dreams are illusions... from the book your soul is writing about you." Martha Norman

So the other night I had a dream that a bear was chasing Andy. He was trying to distract the bear from me so that I could shoot it. Sounds easy enough. Well, from all my hours playing Hunting Unlimited 2009 (complete addict) I knew that if I hit the bear in the forehead, the bullet would slide right off the top of his head and wouldn't kill him. So I had to choose my shot carefully. Well, this wasn't a game and I was frantic! And to top it off, I only had a shotgun. TWO bullets. I aimed, shot, missed. Aimed, shot, hit the bear, but didn't stop him.

Here's where panic overtook me. The bear is coming straight for Andy and I didn't know how to reload the gun. I don't even know if I had more ammo, all I knew was reloading wasn't a task I'd ever been shown. I was going to watch the love of my life be eaten by an angry black bear!

Usually, I have the ability, while still sleeping, to stop the dream, rewind the scene and direct it the way I want it to go. Tonight was different. I couldn't redirect the bear. The same scene just played over and over again and I woke up in a cold sweat, heart beating outside of my chest and body trembling. I was almost in tears as I reached out for Andy to make sure he was still there.

HORRIFYING!

So the next morning I remembered the dream and told Andy what had happened. He was appalled that I would let him get torn to shreds by a bear. He thought it was funny at first, but quickly changed his mind. I couldn't help it. I did manage to stop the dream before he was eaten alive, thus it has no ending. And I couldn't find the clear meaning of the dream. For the life of me I couldn't put that dream into perspective. Other than the fact that he needs to make sure I know how to use and LOAD a damn gun. We have guns in the house. For arguments sake, lets say an intruder comes in while he's gone away to some hunting or fishing trip and I'm alone with the kids. What the hell am I going to do to save my family? I believe I'd blow a robbers head off if I felt there was danger, but HOW with no BULLETS???

Anyway... the following week Manny, the 3-year-old, wakes up at 6 a.m. and crawls in bed with us. "Daddy, I'm scared".

"Why son?"

"The dinosaurs are going to get me."

"Don't be scared son, I'll kill the dinosaurs," as he squeezes him in closer, protecting Manny. We all snuggle up together, covers pulled up close to our faces.

Shortly after, we all get up and Manny heads to the hall bathroom while Andy is getting our girls up.

"Dad... watch out for the bear!" Manny hollers from the bathroom.

Needless to say, I'm a little freaked out but I don't say anything. How did Manny know about the bear? Hmmm. Something is off kilter. A threatening feeling, but I'm not sure what it's about.

I honestly believe that our subconscious mind tries to warn us about certain things. It tries to protect us from events or situations that we might have otherwise avoided, or it uses dreams to make us aware of something that is or could be coming our way.

Manny and I are apparently incahoots on something... I just wish I knew more.

Intro to The Holocaust

2009-03-24T09:59:00.004-05:00

So last night was the first session of five for Intro to the Holocaust. Traditionally, I hate history. I have traumatic memories from high school trying to memorize dates and details of historical events that seemed too trivial for my party mindset. Perhaps it was my teachers that didn't engage my mind, perhaps it was me being lazy, knowing exactly what I had to score on a particular assignment to nail a good grade in that class... and that instructor wasn't getting anything more than my minimum.

At SNU, I've been enrolled in "bridge classes". This is an adult study program where I can go to school one night a week (4 hours) and in five weeks, I've finished a class that would have taken me an entire semester. It's wonderful for those who are working and just can't devote 4 to 5 nights a week to class. I take five classes a semester, but I take them one at a time. It works for me! Granted, it's a private university, so the cost is a little high, but it's worth it to me.

Anyway, some of my classes are kinda odd. And truth be known, you really don't get a lot of say-so in what you are enrolled in. The object is to get you to the credit requirement so you can start your degree program requirements. Basically, whatever you need is compared to whatever is available at that time, and that's what will end up on your schedule.

For the Spring semester I ended up with Juvenile Delinquency, Earth's Natural Disasters, Discrete Math, Intro to the Holocaust and Intro to Art. All of them were a piece of cake as far as I could tell, except for the Holocaust class. I already had anxiety about that one, and this was at the beginning of the semester lol. The syllabus even had me more anxious. I glanced over it in January to find that I would be writing two 5-7 page papers, three 1-page video response papers, 10 1-page conversation starters and have a final exam. I about crapped my pants. FIVE WEEKS MAN! This class is only five weeks! Oh... and I had to read "Night" by Elie Wiesel prior to class and have one of the 5-7 page papers done, and then another paper was to be on an assigned book we would get the first night of class. Oh! And there was a Genocide project that was also due by the 5th week consisting of ANOTHER 5-7 page paper and a 1-page oral presentation. WTF!

Not only do I not like history, I don't like reading about history, I don't like history videos, and I certainly don't like writing papers on historical events. I love to write. But I love to write about things I'm comfortable with. Things I know about. This... the Holocaust... was definitely unfamiliar territory and I hadn't the faintest clue how I was to bullshit my way through this class.

So I get to class and thank God I was 4 minutes early. My instructor, a lean, tall man looking to be in his 50s... bald head, pressed jeans, cowboy boots and a gray blazer over a Harley Davidson t-shirt... looked intimidating. I immediately thought of Bull from Night Court when I saw him, but only in a scary kind of way. Then precisely at 6 this man tells us, "Thank you all for being here on time. I start promptly at 6, but tonight I will give 5 more minutes because this classroom is difficult to find."

Then again, promptly at 6:05, he started class. Not only was I scared to death of this class, my face was beet red after climbing three flights of stairs and running through every hall imaginable in this building to find my classroom. I'm fat. Fat girls don't run down halls and willingly climb stairs when there are elevators available.

So he starts rambling on about his own personal history. I could feel my insides twisting and turning, thinking this class couldn't possibly get worse. He tells us he joined the military at 17 and retired after 32 years service. He has also worked for SWAT and other special forces in the Oklahoma City Police Department. He described himself as a "crotchety old bastard" and told us that if his occasional cursing offended us, to report him. He further explained, we wouldn't be the first to report him and he's certain we wouldn't be the last.

Gulp...

After the first 15 minutes or so of class I caught my breath and was able to relax a bit. This professor, even with his background, seemed very personable, joking with us and all that, so I didn't fear him nearly as much as I did 15 minutes prior.

The lecture started and I can honestly say, this man put this whole time in history into perspective for me. I didn't even have to ask any questions because he had already answered them. He put things into terms where even a 5th grader could understand, and if there was something that was unclear, he was pretty good at reading faces and tried to invoke conversation within the students. And to top it all off... not only did I understand what the heck he was saying, I was excited to learn more. It was really refreshing.

Oh! And not only was he able to get through my mental block for history, he cut down our workload as well. He completely wiped out one of the papers we had to write... the one on Genocide. Instead, he told us to find any case of genocide in history and answer these questions: Who? When? Why? What? and of course... How? He said to make an oral presentation of no more than 5 minutes to answer those questions. Easy enough. Then he cut out the final exam. WOO HOO! He said our video response papers are due at the beginning of the last class. We still have to write two 5-7 page papers, but I can certainly deal with that! Oh - and because he cut out the final exam, which was worth 20% of our final grade, he decided to put that 20% toward, punctuality, preparedness for class and participation. Nice!

I am honestly looking forward to next weeks class!

You are in BIG TROUBLE Mister!

2009-03-23T13:06:00.002-05:00

So I'm up at 5:30 this morning, determined to get a head start on work before the kids get here. All seems to be going well... I'm working, laundry is going, and the house is quiet. Then Nish gets up, shortly followed by Andy. Why in God's name are they up so early? Couldn't be the 4 hours naps we all took yesterday until about 7 pm LOL!

At about 7, I'm in the kitchen doing my normal routine. I get Andy's lunch ready for work, get coffee fixed and get his fancy schmancy coffee cup we got him for Christmas out to take to work and then shove Andy and Nish out the door about 7:30. Well... I can't find the coffee cup. This isn't just your ordinary thermos style coffee mug mind you. I had is specially designed for him. SPECIALLY DESIGNED FOR HIM!

Ever seen those stickers on cars?

They look kinda like that. Well, I didn't want one on the truck b/c I wanted our real names on there, and I thought that was just a bit invasive to plaster on our vehicle like that. So after an exhaustive search (30 seconds on Google) I found a site that custom makes coffee mugs, mouse pads, decals, etc., and you get to design the people, including their attire, hair style, age, and then name them all.

I picked out an aluminum coffee mug for him and put us plus our four kids on there. It was too cute! So cute I couldn't wait until Christmas to give it to him and let him open it early.

Anyhoo -

He takes that cup to work everyday. I'm looking for it in the dishwasher. Nope. Cabinet... Nope. Sink... NOPE! I'm getting pissed. I ask him to go look in the truck. He finally reveals.... "I must have left it at the office."

That would have been fine if it were the OFFICE that he goes to EVERYDAY! But noooooooooo, it's at the office that he went to for 2 days last week, the office that he hardly ever goes to. Granted, it's a mile from our house, but it closes too early for him to get there after he gets off, and I have no idea when he'll be there next. And it's too far away from the office he's at normally to make it there during lunch and get back on time.

So I'm pissed. He's in trouble. Big trouble! I specially designed that dang cup for him! I fill it EVERY morning with his dang coffee and send him out the door with hot java and smooches every morning! How the hell do ya forget your cup!?!?

I let him know, repeatedly, that he's in big trouble until he gets his cup back.

7:30 a.m. I shove him out the door with smooches, a glare and no coffee cup.

11:13 a.m. I get picture mail on my celly.

Got my cup back! See?

LMAO. He apparently worked some magic and had someone bring the cup to him. See why I love this man! I informed him he was safe to come home now and not fear for his life. It's a beautiful day!

I LOVE MINIVANS and BANANAS!

2009-03-17T12:28:00.004-05:00

So we bought a Minivan this weekend. It's cute. I'm very happy with it. This is "my" car (technically speaking of course, it all comes out of one account) and Andy has the macho man truck. We traded in my car that Andy swears was a heap of junk... but it wasn't. It was a nice little car that needed a little work. I loved the Alero, but we couldn't fit everyone in there. When Andy went to buy the truck in July my only stipulation was that he get one big enough to fit all six of us in there. Job well done! So we decided to get something a little cheaper on gas and that was more "mom friendly". We've been talking about buying a minivan for a while, but we thought we might just wait until the car was paid off. HA! That idea lasted for all of six months lol.

So far, there are only three ladies in the family with cars, and I was one of them. The rest have SUVs. Of course all of the guys have trucks (RAWR)! So I know I'm going to get some razzing for being minivan mom lol. All good. I can take it.

The funny part is Andy is taking the minivan to work. He says he's "Rockin the Mini" and takes all the jokes from his work buddies in stride. What a champ! See why I love him?!?!?! It was a complete manipulation tactic to take the mini to work. We work well together this way. I know he wanted to drive the new car to work. He knew I wanted to keep it in the driveway and stare at it all day long, knowing I wasn't leaving the house. It's my new toy and I want to stare at it. I love new toys! So instead of just telling me he's going to take it and dealing with me throwing a fit... he asks me a question "Do you think I should take the mini to work?"

Crap! I'm stuck! He knows this makes me feel like I get to make the decision, so I'm all happy about that. But he also knows I'm going to make a sensible decision too. And the sensible decision was to watch my new toy leave the driveway every day because it's cheaper on gas. Crap crap crap!

I've learned, in relationships, if you "suggest" instead of "demand" you get your way more often without any ill feelings or feeling like you have to give up a "man-card" or lose cool points.

Another example. We weren't going to move into a house until another six months or so. We decided we'd get everything taken care of financially that was going to cost us big bucks in the near future, and THEN take on the responsibility of higher rent, more bills, etc. Well... I knew I was going to get a tax refund this year, and I was way too excited to get into a bigger place and didn't want to sit in that apartment any longer. I knew Andy wanted to move as soon as we could too, but he's more careful about bills than I am. I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul for so long, a move wouldn't be any more difficult than anything else I've done in the past.

So, I propose this idea of mine to Andy. It's still just an idea in my head at this point. What I'm doing is planting the seed. I say "Babe, I saw a house for rent down the street... wanna go take a look at it, just for fun?" So that gets the ball rolling, and before we know it, we are actively looking for a house and now it's become something that has to be done within the next month instead of the six months from now. We moved into our house the last week in January, a mere three weeks after my initial "suggestion" to Andy.

I LOVE the power of suggestion!

In the past year (because we've been together a year now YAY) he's moved into the apartment with me, then we moved into a bigger house where all the kids could have their own space, we've purchased new vehicles for both us, I'm back in school full time and back to transcribing, and his divorce is almost final. I think it's been a productive year. So one year down on our five year plan. I can't wait to see what the next four years bring us!

It's been a busy week

2009-03-13T08:11:00.003-05:00

...here in Okieland!

First, I've located my brother that I haven't seen in over 20 years! I have two siblings from my dad, an older sister and brother. I was just a kid when I last saw either one of them. I never really looked for either of them b/c I didn't want to get wrapped up in all the mess my dad created. I don't have very many good memories of that man, and it was just too much drama to deal with. I figured they'd turn out just like him and frankly, I didn't want any part of our dad. So the other day, I'm looking at Myspace and decide to look for my brother. After a days search, I found him and he looked good! I mean GOOD! He has my dad's eyes... but he seems normal. And productive. And happy. And away from all the drama and crap our dad instilled in our genes. And the best part is... he's only a few hours away from me! I can't wait to get to know him all over again!

This Wednesday was the last session for my Discrete Math class. I don't think I got an A, but I'm sure it's a high B. I missed a couple of assignments at the beginning of class and I think I got lazy and just didn't turn them in or something. It's totally my fault, but I'm ok with a B. Next class is Holocaust. Ugh. That syllabus is intimidating. I don't do well with oral presentations, and it seems like there is one every damn week in this class, not to mention an inordinate amount of reading. Grrr! On the bright side, it's only one night a week for five weeks. Surely I can make it through.

Andy and I went out Wednesday night after I got out of class. I got smashed lol. Michelle was there (first time she'd been back at this bar since the "incident") and we had a great time. We don't get to the bar much these days and it's a good thing! Man when I think about how much money we spent in the bar when we were throwing darts... it makes me sick. But that was back when I was stalking Andy and Patron was my right-hand-man. Oh... good times. I sure don't miss the hangovers though. Yesterday SUCKED big time.

On top of being hung over, Andy was sick. I guess the kids and I passed on our cold we had last week to him. Poor guy.

Then this morning, Friday the damn 13th, I guess Nisha thought it was "dress like a hood rat day" at school. She comes out of her room with some booty shorts on that are obviously way too little for her big butt and some leggings under them, thinking that if she wore leggings she could get away with it. Ba ha! That's not gonna work sister. Go change into some real clothes. So I guess she thinks she's slick. She comes back out of her room with a pair of jeans on, but I don't think she knew that I knew she still had on her leggings under the jeans. Which leads me to believe she's got those damn booty shorts in her bag. I just laughed and let her run with it. The folks at the school and I are very close, and they don't hesistate to call me if something stupid happens... I anticipate a phone call by 10 this morning lol. Hell, haven't we all done that? Changed our clothes or put on our "real" makeup after we got to school b/c our moms thought we should be little "Outhouse on the Prairie" type kids?

So then Erin calls and says she's going to be late with the girls b/c there is something wrong with her truck. No biggy. That gives me more time to wake up. Andy and Nish leave and I'm sitting here waiting on the babies, when Andy walks back through the door. He's still sick. My poor guy! I sent him back to bed. He sounds miserable, and apparently his boss told him not to bring his contaminated self up to the office to spread that crap around. So he gets a 4 day weekend. Nice! I love having him home anyway. He's a great snuggler.

Ok - time for me to go check on him, dope him up and curl up next to him for a bit. High of 35 today and my toes are freezing!

The End of the Sopranos

2009-03-10T08:50:00.002-05:00

So last night we finally finished watching the entire set of The Sopranos. Andy has already seen it of course, and this all started out simple. He introduced me to the big gangster movies when we first got together and I loved them. So he thought I might like The Sopranos. I was addicted half-way through the first season. Lately, I've tried to space them out a bit because I knew we were coming to the end.

Last night we watched the final disc and I'd like to say... I FEEL ROBBED!

When you have an open ending, the kind where you have to guess what happened, it just leaves you feeling empty. Now when I'm in the theatre or watching a flick on DVD that ends abruptly leaving you with many questions... I'm ok because I've only invested an hour and a half. But when you are six seasons deep, invested countless hours to these people and their lives... and you are left with a NON-ending like this... it's PAINFUL and DECEITFUL and ROBBING! GRRRR! I feel like I know these people. I've been in their home for six seasons worth of viewing! I've been to work with them, in their bedrooms, watched them murder and go to a billion funerals. I've watched Uncle Junior come to his mental demise. I've wanted to punch Janice in the face for being such a dip-wad. I've been there everytime Tony was in therapy, pouring his heart out without saying too much. I was there when Ade was killed (on her way to see Christopher in the hospital down a long, winding road in the middle of the woods lol). I was there when AJ tried to kill himself and when Meadow decided to pursue law instead of medicine. I was there DAMMIT when Carm almost got busy with "the Father" and then got jealous because one of her whore friends was acting the same way! I was right next to Paulie when he almost met his demise on the boat with Tony before they headed back home.

HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME!!!

I hate it when the kids are sick :(

2009-03-05T14:10:00.002-06:00

Tuesday started like any other day... the babies I take care of during the day arrived, LOML headed to work taking Nish to school on his way and the day looked good. Nish comes home from her choir performance after school and looked like straight death. I doped her up and sent her to bed. The babies leave with their mama, LOML comes home from work, we go to the grocery store and then pass out.

The next morning the babies show up, I keep Nish home from school b/c she's running a fever and still in a coma. Doped her up again and sent her back to bed. Then by 10 o'clock Baby K starts running a fever. I text her mama, she arrives an hour later to take her to one of the "doc in a box" clinics around here where you don't need an appointment. She ends up taking Nish with her to be seen as well. Apparently both girls have a nasty viral infection and Nish is out of school until Friday. Both girls have prescriptions and are told to push fluids and get plenty of rest.

These poor girls! I hate it when kids are sick. They are clingy and in the "I need my mama" stage. Poor pathetic lil things! I just want to sit and coddle them all day, but I've got things I've got to get done (LOL @ my to-do list earlier in the week that I'm still trying to get done two days later). I tried to quarantine Nish to her room, but that doesn't work so well. She's at my ankles needing a hug and back rubs that of course, only mama can do right. I know I'm a big baby when I'm sick and I just want to be comforted. LOML takes such good care of me... I'm so blessed!

Today, Baby K is feeling a little better, but still so snotty and congested that she can't sleep unless she's at an incline. I hate letting her sleep in her carseat, but that's the only place I can put her where she'll be able to breathe and get some real rest. Nish says that her throat is opening up a bit after starting her Z-pack and some Robitussin AC. Booger sucking Baby K is definitely not fun, but she actually sits still for me to do it, and oddly enough laughs. I think it tickles her throat or something. I can't help but laugh at her. The only way to get her to sleep the last couple of days is hold her on my chest until she passes out. She leaves a lovely snot blob on my t-shirt every time.

So far today no one is running a fever and Baby K is sleeping soundly. Nish is catching up on American Idol and I think I might have a few minutes of peace and quiet to get some of my seedlings in their new condos. Lil K helped make some paper bag condos before she was sent to take her nap too. She got a kick out of that. Can't wait until we can actually get some of this in the garden; she'll really have a blast outside.

Hopefully my sicklings will feel better this afternoon and we will be able to enjoy this sunshiny, beautiful day!

LOML and I have BIG plans tonight. I'm going to make some heart healthy spaghetti (turkey and wheat pasta) and we are going to sit in front of the boob tube and watch some Sopranos. We are almost finished with the entire set! He's already seen them all, but I am completely addicted!

Welp, off to do some indoor gardening while I have the chance!

So It's Tuesday!

2009-03-03T08:52:00.002-06:00

Weekend came and went. We actually had the house to ourselves until about 8:30 on Sunday evening! Woo hoo! We shopped, finished moving out of the apartment, played with the sprouts in the kitchen, and layed around watching TV. It was superb!

I had a houseful of munchkins yesterday. Four kids all under the age of 5! Actually, it wasn't bad. They all get along pretty well and we had a good time.

Today LOML (that's what I'll call him... today) has an appointment with the soon-to-be ex-wife with the divorce attorney. We are both excited that it's finally off the "to do" list and moving to "actively being done" lol. They really have a great relationship and I'm really relieved that both of them don't create or allow any of the drama or horror stories that are so common. She has a really good head on her shoulders and they both keep the kids at the center of priorities. I know it can't be easy with another woman in her children's lives. Been there, done that. But I've realized over time it's only as hard as I make it.

I've got to get off here though... time to get on my "to do" list for the day:

Work (lol, I actually did laugh out loud about that one
Homework
Hall bathroom scrub-down
Finish at least 2 loads of laundry today
Grocery List
Unpack at least 2 boxes in the garage
Get my potatoes and onions in the tubs and newspaper roll the demon corn
Feed the babies breakfast and lunch
Get supper started (or at least some meat out of the freezer lol)

And this is all while babysitting the 3 y/o and the 9 m/o kids and needs to be done by 5 before LOML gets home from work. Lil K should be entertained pretty much with following me around the house and asking 9 billion questions, and thank God for the walker LOML got for Baby K. She's just scooting through the house like crazy these days. I'm so glad we have wood floors in the new house b/c that carpet in the apt was just too thick for her to be mobile.

Guess I'm off to do my chores!