Writer's Workshop

It's that time again... Mama Kat over at Mama's Losin It offered the following prompts for the Writer's Workshop:

1.) Who really helped you get over something? Write about that person.(writingfix.com)

2.) Is plastic surgery an option? Without being vulgar, write about the body part still attached to you that you would most like to dis-attach and replace with a better one. (writingfix.com)

3.) Share an interesting email exchange you've had with someone lately.

4.) Have you thought about shutting down your blog? Why haven't you and what would cause you to make that decision final?

5.) Today I will...

I'm sure I could find something to jot down about all of them, but I'll go with #1 only because I've got a big to-do list today and I should get started on it.

Andy. He's the one that helped me get over something. My insecurities.

History: I was a girl just out of high school and he was a guy with 2 kids and recently separated from his evil first wife. He was 6 years older than me. I thought I hit a gold mine when I found him. He was a family man, a preacher's son, good morals and values, a good, steady job and seemed to adore me. Jackpot! Four years and one kid later, I found out he cheated. So long Knight in Shining Armour and in comes Jackass of a Lifetime. I was crushed. Apparently, this broad he cheated with also had a man... who found his way to MY front door to whip my man's ass. I didn't believe it at first. He surely had the wrong guy. Surely he was talking about my man's friend, the whoredog. Nope. He politely pointed to our family portrait on my living room wall and said, "That's the guy. That's the one who is sleeping with my girl." Complete and utter devastation.

Wowzers. Looking back, that was the night I lost all faith in relationships. Needless to say, my "man" was gone that night. I put him out and threw our family portrait shattering on the ground right in front of him. He cried. I cried. And I sent him on his way.

For the next five years we were off again and on again. I went to therapy. He made promises. I vowed to make it work. We even got married. Big ole church wedding and all that jazz. He went back to being the loving man and father that I once knew. But something changed inside me and I couldn't get back to the place I was before. I was jaded. Then finally, one day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Just get out. So I did. But I was still jaded. I trusted this man with my heart and soul and he ripped me to shreds. He was sorry, I knew that. But that didn't change the fact that it happened.

During the next five years I had few relationships and dated a few guys. Nothing serious. They thought it was serious, but I never looked further than that moment. I never thought of a happy ending or forever after. I never wanted to put myself in a vulnerable position that would allow someone to hurt me again. That emotional rollercoaster was for the birds, and I wanted no part of it.

And just when I thought I had my emotional state under control.... along came Andy. A friend of mine told me about a dart team that was needing a female. I knew one of the three other guys on the team. My darts were going well and I thought I was ready to actually play on a team. I was introduced to Andy and the other guy and threw my darts. It was fun. Andy thought I was a bitch and I thought he was an asshole. But we had a wierd chemistry from jump. I like banter, and he dished it out like nobody's business. I gave it right back to him. From that first night I knew there was something about him. I had to get to know him. He had this energy that I fed off of.

Well, turns out this asshole had a sensitive side. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted. I found myself stalking him. Complete voluntary stalking. I would show up where he was throwing darts on another league, with the girls of course, just so I could be near him. We would stay at the bar after everyone left and have "alone time". Lol, alone time in a bar.

Anyway, he had just gotten out of a decade long relationship and was forced into the single world again. He had three kids and was very particular in who he introduced them to. I was still in the mindset that men suck, really bad, and I wouldn't count on tomorrow with any given man. We started spending time together outside the bar... with all the kids together. Doing things like a family would. I fell in love with his kids and he treated my kid like she was his own. I let my guard down, without reservation. It was like all of a sudden I was in a trance. One day I'm a man-hating jaded biotch who couldn't care less about who I hurt, and the next day I let go of the self-preservation mode I'd been in for years and found myself in.love.with.Andy.

Without even trying, this beautiful man managed to single handedly give me the strength to believe in love again. To believe in the happily ever after. To realize that being hurt once doesn't mean that I was doomed to be alone or in meaningless relationships. Never once have I felt like this man was looking at another woman. Never once have I doubted where he was or who he was with... or if after one beer too many that trailer tramp trash three barstools down looked like she needed some company. Never have I felt like he wasn't sincere. Not one time have I wondered about his love. Not one time have I regretted giving in. And today, I see beyond tomorrow, next week, next year. I see a lifetime. A future. A home. A family. The greatest thing about it all... I don't remember the pain and bad memories I have from the past. It's like all of it has vanished and all I can see is the moment we met and the life we have together. It's as it that's when my life really began. When I look to the future, because I can do that now, without fear (YAY), I see us and the life we built together. I don't remember life before him and I can't picture my life without him.

Ok, enough sap. For more Writer's Workshop, go visit Mama's Losin It!

Selective Hearing of Monkey Boy

We are driving along Monday evening, all four kids, Andy and myself, rockin' the mini, on the way to Gma's for her birthday bash. The music is playing... probably some old rock song from my favorite CD I recently made for myself (Pat Benatar, Air Supply, you know the likes). The teen and tween in the very back tolerating the music and gazing out the window praying for a better song. The two younger ones in the middle seat, safely tucked into their carseats. Andy and I in the front engaged in convo about his job and new promotion. I occasionally look to Monkey Boy (3) and Baby Love (4) telling them to use inside voices and reminding them to keep their nasty little feet off the seats. They get their feet off the seats only to play the "I'm not touching you" game which is then ended with a pinch on the arm from the Monkey Boy. He's scolded, gets pissed, telling me "She peen me back, she peen me back" and then they go into another conversation. He's not the easiest to understand and sometimes we are WAY off base with what he's trying to tell us.

I gaze out my window just in time to see one car trying to get on the highway and another one speeding up to make sure the oncoming vehicle has to get behind him. "Stupid ass!" I quietly say to the moron driver as I glare at him through the window. How rude! I'm in a minivan loaded down with kids, in the very next lane... the lane he would have to turn into if that car didn't yield, and this asshole thinks the world will end if he doesn't fly up into the bumper of the car in front of him just so there is a car behind him. Like he's going to miss out on the checkered flag in a Nascar race if he ends up behind the oncoming traffic.

Andy continues rambling on about his promotion.

Monkey Boy: "Doop ash, doop ash, doop ash."

I look back at Monkey Boy, who is now looking me dead in the eyes, grins and continues chanting... "Doop ash, doop ash, doop ash."

Andy: What's he saying?

Me: (Wearing that quizocal grin and shrugging my shoulders, pretending like I don't know what the boy is saying)

Andy: (One eyebrow raised) He's saying stupid ass isn't he?

Me: (Still wearing that "stupid ass" grin)

How come when we say something meaningful like "I love you" or "Hold me" or "Good boy" he runs off to find the nearest mud puddle like we haven't uttered a word. But the moment I use a curse word or spout out something without thinking about the mini-people lurking behind me, he chooses to listen... and repeat... and repeat... and repeat what I've said.

I'm sure his bio-mom will be pleased to hear him chanting "doop ash" the next time they are sitting at a family dinner or out with a group of people. This I'm sure will be followed by Baby Love, the tattle teller, telling her bio-mom "He's saying stupid ass. Denise said stupid ass and then Monkey Boy said doop ash. That's what he's saying... stupid ass. Mom what's stupid ass mean?"

RTT: Tantrums & Big Mama Bras

Go check out The UnMom and Baby Boogers and play along. Mr. Linky is waiting...

It seems all my entries are random as of late. I just can't seem to wrap my head around one single thought long enough to write about it.

I've realized the backspace key is the most often used key on my keyboard.

I wish I could communicate better. I threw a tantrum last night, like a 2-year-old, and my poor Andy caught the brunt of it. We snuggled later, but I hate that I can't just say what I mean when I mean it, instead of waiting until I blow up about stupid things.

Andy's new promotion starts July 1. I'm so proud of him! He transferred to headquarters shortly after we got together and said there was more opportunity for advancement there, plus he could mingle with the big-wigs. I guess he was right. He really is a great employee, knows his stuff and isn't afraid to be right. I love that about him. He is the "go to" man of sorts around there and of course it swells his head, but he totally deserves it.

Someone remind me... make a neuro appt for the 15 y/o! Jeeze, you'd think one simple phone call during the day wouldn't be that hard to remember! I've got to get this appt scheduled so I'm not the mom calling in a month from now saying that my kid doesn't have enough medicine to last until her next appt. Seriously, they write the Rx for 6 months worth and I wait until the very last minute to make an appointment. It's not like she's just taking Motrin yanno lol.

Speaking of the neuro, we are coming up on the 3rd year anniversary of the 15-year-olds brain surgeries. I'm so proud of her. She really has come a long way. I have experienced nothing scarier in my life than sending my child off to a secret room to have part of her brain removed while I'm just directed out to some room with a bunch of other scared people to wait it out. I held it together until her dad and I had just said our "goodbyes" and were heading down that never ending, stark white hallway to the waiting room. I lost it. Nearly fell to the ground bawling like a baby. And then having to repeat that scene 2 more times within a matter of days. Wow! Talk about patience, prayer and the strength of a family.

Now that postop child is looking forward to a drivers license. Eek! Jeeze I'm old. I remember like it was yesterday when she was 4 and bringing me the brush and pretty pink bows saying, "Mama, fix my hurr." She only wanted to be the prettiest girl playing in the mud.

We were over at Andy's mom's yesterday for her birthday celebration with the rest of the enormous family. Seriously, her 5 kids were there, with their kids, and their kids' kids. All jam packed into the front room of Gma's house. Good times! I love that their family is close-knit. I didn't really have that with my family... hell, I'm the only sucka left in Oklahoma from my family. They all tricked my mom and I into moving out to Oklahoma from sunshiney California... and by the time I was out of high school, most all of them had relocated. Now I'm ridin' solo out there. But to tell the truth, there isn't any other place I'd rather be. I love my life here.

Goal for today is to get my homework done and get the floors done in the house. Surely I can manage that.

I get a package in the mail last week addressed TO my mama, who lives in Texas. Our names are similar, but two completely different zip codes in two different states. Odd. I'm confused, but then I remembered that my mama is back in the online shopping game and thought maybe she sent me something. She's been known to just send "blessings" every now and again out of the blue. It's from A Woman Within. I have no clue, so I tear open the package. Inside there's a bunch of magazines, an order form, and another package. I don't bother to look at the magazines because DUH, there's something else to rip open. ACK! Inside I find a big mama bra... 44D. The kind with four snaps in the back on a 3-inch wide strap. The Fort Knox kind of bra that holds big mama boulders, not boobies. What tha.....this CAN'T be for me! Apparently, our addresses somehow got crossed and it came here. Boo! I wanted a surprise. Instead I get this:

Ok, I'll shut up now. That's enough random thoughts for the moment. I'm sure though, in the midst of diligently doing my homework, I'll find some reason to get back on the computer and end up here again before the day it done.

Makin' Friends Monday

So this is my third post today and I'm not nearly finished. I know I said I was going to get to my homework, but I don't wanna. And you can't make me.

That Girl over at Sunshine and Rainbows (who I stalk already) posted from Kasey's All That is Good (who I will now stalk) a little thingy called Makin' Friends Monday. Go on over there and check it out, and link up with Mr. Linky to show your stuff!

Each Monday Kasey posts a task for everyone to do... simple, nonpersonal stuff... in hopes of folks meeting new folks, getting to know each other better, etc. Sounded cool. I wanna play!

This week her task is

5 Senses: List 4 likes and 1 dislike from each of the senses.

Smell
Likes:
1 - Fresh cut grass
2 - Rain
3 - Andy with all of his frou-frou stuff on
4 - Clean laundry fresh out of the dryer
5 - Diesel fuel
Dislike:
Rotten potatoes

Touch
Likes:
1 - Andy's bare skin next to mine
2 - Soft baby skin
3 - My bare feet on the sheets
4 - Sand in my toes
5 - My mama's hugs
Dislike:
Raw hamburger meat on my hands - the 15y/o mixes the meatloaf for me lol

Sound
Likes:
1 - Rain hitting the rooftop
2 - Motorcycles and muscle cars RAWR
3 - Music in the morning, helps me wake up and puts me in a good mood
4 - The kids playing together... nicely
5 - The sound the dart board makes when I hit a hat trick!
Dislike:
Fingernails on chalkboard

Taste
Likes:
1 - My mama's frito chili pie
2 - Anything on the Taco Bell menu... especially during a hangover
3 - Pepsi
4 - Avocados with pepper
5 - His lips on mine
Dislike:
Eggplant

Sight
Likes:
1 - Old folks walking hand-in-hand
2 - Babies sleeping
3 - Andy walking through the door after work
4 - A fully stocked and organized kitchen
5 - Any body of water that I can jump in
Dislike:
Buttcrack in public

There ya have it! Now go post yours so I can stalk you too!

Addendum: I apparently don't follow instructions very well. I posted 5 likes and I was only supposed to do 4. Ooopsie. (Insert dingbat blogtard emoticon here)

I learnt me some new things

While I'm supposed to be doing homework, I had this idea that sounded much more fun. I decided to look up things that I didn't know about. Just random things that caught my curiosity.

If you are new to bloggyland, you might be wondering this question too. What the heck is a meme? I pronounced it "me-me" because that's what it looked like. When in fact... it's a "meeeem". Hmph. I found an interesting read over at Chrisg dot com and he explained exactly what it is. I feel so much better now. Thank you Chris G. I'm still a blogtard, but I'm learning.

Another intesting thing I learned today... that stupid pig flu is in fact from pigs. So here's my warning: If you live with a bunch of PIGS, you are at risk. If you feel feverish, throw up a couple times and have the urge to squeal or "oink", immediately seek medical attention. You could be infected.

Speaking of Pigs, I was talking to my sister today and we were reminiscing about our childhoods. We laughed about the time we lived next door to Pancho and his million-people family out in the sticks where we would wake up Sunday mornings to an actual pig squealing... look out the window and see Mrs. Pancho out in the front yard slaughtering a pig and getting something ready in their gigantic, black, witches brew cauldron for what we could only imagine was going to be their supper. Meanwhile Pancho is feeding their shetland pony who is tied up to a tree in the front yard as well; the pony my dad won for me in a bet but then gave it back. We moved a little further down memory lane and talked about how we remember mom living in Reno. Sissy's only memory there was when she snuck out one night, while mom was dealing cards at a local casino, slipped into another casino, stole a name badge and smacked it on her shirt, found a used plastic cup of booze that was laying by the wayside and promptly went up to the next waitress, handed her the dirty cup and told her she would like another one. She was 15 at the time. My only memory in Reno was when I was kidnapped by my dad and grandpa who found me there, in the middle of the night, with my mom's "half-naked boyfriend" (he had his t-shirt off and was lying on the couch) and my mom was at work. I was 8. I'm sure I was asleep. The odd thing is... I don't remember my sister being there ever, and she doesn't remember seeing me there. This is only a couple of the many, many memories my sister and I shared. So as we walked down this road, reliving our childhoods, we couldn't help but wonder how we came out alive... and sane.

Did you know that babies are born without knee caps? They don't appear until they are between 2 and 4.

The nursery rhyme "Ring Around the Rosey" is a rhyme about the Black Plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores ("Ring around the Rosey"), these sores would smell very badly so common folks would put flowers on their bodies (inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores ("a pocket full of posies"). Furthermore, people who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease ("ashes, ashes, we all fall down"). Gross!

I was playing around on Google Earth (the free version) and the apartment that we moved out of 5 months ago still has my car parked in front of it. For those of you who thought it was in real-time... it's not. So don't go trying to spy on people. You'll only find out what they were doing up to 5 years ago LOL. Makes me wonder about that broad who claimed she found out her ex was cheating on her when she saw his truck via Google Earth at another broad's house. How long was that affair really going on huh?

That's all I learnt today. I think I learnt me up some pretty good stuff. My brain hurts. I'm going to look at pretty pictures in my art book now and pretend to write my paper. Happy Monday!

Monday Mania

OK what the flip man? Why when I wake up on a dreary Monday morning, after NOT sleeping well at all even though it stormed and that's usually when I have my best sleep, do I hear about a pig flu epidemic? No confirmed cases in Oklahoma yet, although half of our surrounding states have them, and I'm just a wee bit worried since I've been down with this horrible coughing snotty hacking sneezing bronchial infection for OVER A WEEK NOW! Even my normal savior Mucinex coupled with Sudafed isn't doing the trick. I think I'm over the worst of it, but every morning I still wake up to a cough attack and that elephant on my chest feeling. Ugh!

On to more pleasant things, like my weekend recap:

Friday Andy and I went to a dart tournament. The pot was $500 and we were ready to play! I got a pretty good partner, and Andy was partnered with our best friends new wife. She's okay, but neither of us really had a chance to take home the money that night. Cody, another dart player, is following me around the dang bar for over an hour before he finally stopped me and said, "You have a daycare right?" Well, I told him I keep a couple kids out of my house, but they are family. He goes into his whole story AGAIN about his girl and their new baby and needing a day care and willingness to drive the boy to me and he's a newborn and he doesn't trust anyone and I'm not with the State am I and how big is my house and blahblahblahblahblah! Cody! Shut the hell up man! I'm trying to throw back tequila shots with beer chasers and you are screwing with my buzz man! And dang Donna brought her camera so there are umpteen pictures of Andy and I, along with the other drunkards in the bar, highlighting just how unpretty we can look when intoxicated. And then I see that Donna has them all posted up on her MySpace. Great. Just great!

Saturday morning Andy headed off to go fishing with the nephews at like 5 in the morning. Pffft, I didn't even know he was gone until I woke up at 8:30. I texted him to tell him to have a great day and rolled back over because Taco Bell doesn't open until 10. NOTHING is better than Taco Bell for a hangover. NOTHING.

Except Subway. The 15y/o and I decided we each needed a footlong. Pigs. I saved half of my sammich for later, but that kid of mine ate the whole thing in like 4 minutes flat. Seriously, I don't think she said a word until she had snarfed the entire sammich down! And then proceeded to tell me how much smaller her sammich was then mine because she doesn't put tomatoes on hers. Um... ok horker.

Saturday was a completely lazy day. I was supposed to work, but since the words on the screen didn't make much sense to me, I decided just to lay up and watch the boob tube with the teen all day long. We did manage to get to the grocery store though. I knew Andy hadn't eaten anything all day long so I wanted him to come home to a hot plate. Aww such a good girlfriend I know. I should get an award or something. I went in the grocery store for hamburger meat to make a meatloaf.. and ended up spending $45 on junk. And hamburger meat. Andy came home about 9 and dinner still wasn't ready lol. He was muddy, exhausted, starving... and supper wasn't ready! There goes my award.

Sunday we slept in and cuddled. It's been a long time since we just layed there and snuggled in bed. Sometimes we slip into this routine, that dull routine with our backs to each other at night, and we don't move until that stupid Mariachi (sp?) band alarm starts yapping on full blast volume. We can't be the only couple that does this... but we've only been together a little over a year and it's already happening. He's hot natured and I'm always frozen, so if I try to get close while he's asleep, when he gets hot he'll toss and turn until I get away from him lol. Then when he tries to get close to me, after his body heat warms me up, I find myself sticking my left foot out of the sheet, then my right foot, and before I know it I'm yanking away from him because I'm too hot. Fat folks trying to snuggle can get complicated.

I worked yesterday afternoon and up until about 9 pm. Of course there were like 239087234 breaks that I took, but I managed to get my work done so we could watch a movie together. Joyride 2. Don't waste your time if you haven't already. I will never get that hour and a half back. The first one was way better. Andy and I just sat there finding all the flaws in the script and filming. And if they are obvious enough for ME to find, something is really wrong with the film.

So we head to bed, snuggle for a few minutes and then we being the toss and turn game again. I dreamt I was a lesbian. Odd. We should definitely snuggle more.

Then I wake up this morning to the pig flu epidemic. And I remember all the homework I've been putting off since class last Wednesday. Good thing I have the next two days off.

That about sums up my weekend. I suppose I should go clean or do homework or something.

High Five Friday

TGIFreakinF! This has been a long and trying week for me. I didn't even participate in Mama Kat's Writers Workshop, but I did read a lot of them. I've been sick and my precious Andy kept the house flowing after he got off work each day so I could poop out and head to bed early. He takes such good care of me.

To here's my ^5 to Friday and the 5 random things going on in my head today!

• American Idol - of course I'm happy Lil is gone, not so happy about Anoop though. He wasn't going to win, but I loved his voice. I'm quite pissed off at America for putting Allison in the bottom 3 though. She SO didn't deserve to be there!
• Our 15y/o had managed to bring ALL her grades up to As and Bs. I am SO proud of her. Her last report card sucked big ones and after a long 3 hours at parent teacher conferences, Andy and I devised a plan, along with the help of the asst principal who I love and adore, to get this child's grades back on track. Her trip to California this summer depended on it.. and that in itself was enough motivation for this kid. She's a complete slacker, and it's all my fault. Now I'm freaking out because I've got a little over a month to get a flight booked for her lol. Crap. Secretly I was hoping to save that $300. Horrible I know. But now my greatest fear in the world is coming true... I'm going to shove her on a plane ALONE, being the first time she's flown EVER, and hope for the best. She's dingy. I'm scared to death she's going to call me from Alaska and tell me she got on the wrong plane.
• Tonight we get to throw darts at a tourney with our best friend and his wife. I'm excited, but I'm worried about how I'm going to breathe in a smoke filled bar. Ugh. I'm finally feeling like getting out of the house and where do I want to go? To the emphysematous hell hole where I can sneak an inhaler in the bathroom. Smart. I'm a real smart cookie I tell ya!
• Running through my head at this very moment are all the things I've got to get accomplished before my neat freak sister and her perfectionist Dick show up in May. I wish I had a friend who would come help me. So I'm making the lists: things to get done, things to buy to make our house pretty, and places I can shove stuff so my sissy won't see them.
• And the 5th and final thought for today: I'm giving myself a ^5 for being disciplined and actually working. It's hard working at home, especially when you have 2 little ones constantly needing attention. I have to wear headphones so I can actually hear what the doctor's are saying and it's hard to hear the kids scream with them on. It's definitely a challenge, and sometimes I have to work at night, neglecting my own family, to get work done. But in the longrun I know that an additional paycheck makes a big difference in the plans we have, so I keep trekking along. This is the first "real" pay period I've been back to work and I'm right on schedule with my production. Go me!

That's all I got folks! We are almost kid-free this weekend (the teen decided to stay here instead of going to her bio dad's), and it's my scheduled weekend to work so I probably won't be around much. Hopefully next week I'll be feeling back to my normal self and can add some humor to this drab blog.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and are able to enjoy the beautiful weather!

Wednesday Revelation: Coupons

**This is something I wrote about 2 years ago, pre-Andy days, back when I had a rommie and we were penny-pinching in my apartment. Everytime I think about clipping coupons, like now especially in a recession, I remember this fiasco and opt out on coupon-clipping**

Today's Revelation:

Coupons are a manufacturers way to get you to purchase the items they know you never would otherwise!

So I'm on a budget these days, being unemployed and all, trying to be frugal and aware of where my money goes. My mailbox is constantly filled with coupons, not to mention the plethora of coupons found in the Sunday paper. So my roomie and I clipped them, carefully choosing what we would and wouldn't like to get at the next visit to Crest, our local super cheap brand name grocery store.

I arrange them neatly in an envelope, on the back of which contains our well thought out grocery list. I'm pumped. I'm ready to save some money. I'm grabbing the bull by the horns and keeping money in the bank.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

It's a HOAX I tell ya, a complete and utter HOAX!



We get to the grocery store, event planned in our heads of how this should go, and I end up turning into a super charged Coupon Bandit! I'm going down the aisles examining over and over again which coupons we clipped, putting things in the basket just because I have a coupon clipped just for that item! Things I'd never eat! Things I've never heard of! My roomie looks at me, after calming her recent belly laugh as I comb the aisles, and tells me, "We aren't going to use EVERY COUPON YOU HAVE TODAY!"

Well why the hell not? We clipped them, we brought them, we should use them!

Get a grip, I told myself, get hold of yourself woman! We make it all the way to the bread aisle before she sees a coupon attached to a rather pricy loaf of bread. It said if we buy this loaf we will get $1.00 off a gallon of milk and $0.55 off a carton of eggs. JACKPOT! Her eyes light up like a kid getting their first red Schwinn bicycle!

Next aisle - shredded cheese and canned biscuits. Ut oh! I distinctly remember clipping at least 5 coupons for Grands Biscuits! Ok, so we couldn't justify the $0.35 coupon for a $4.00 pack of sweet rolls, no matter how yummy they looked. Especially since the other brand was only $1.29 at regular price. We do okay in this section. One more to go.

FROZEN FOODS

At this point we looked and were actually using 5 coupons for a savings of about $3.00. Not too shabby. This section of the grocery store never really appealed to me like it did today. I'm not a frozen meal kinda girl. I love to cook, and these foods required a microwave and paper plate and voila', supper was ready. But today, today this area had so very many things to offer. Did you realize you could purchase a baked potato? I mean a potato already baked with all the toppings? And for goodness sake, there were at least 6 flavors of hot wings! Coupons! Where are my blasted coupons!

I'm searching and searching. Low and behold I have at least 10 great coupons for $1.00 off some Tyson bag-o-chicken thing, $1.00 off the Totino's pizza rolls, $0.75 off something called Anytizers, $0.55 off here and $0.45 off there. Holy toledo batman! My roomie tried her best to calm me down. I looked like some freak, up and down those two aisles, going through the coupons one by one, searching for the best deals. My roomie would find something that caught her attention for a few seconds and I would scurry down the aisle, trying to lose her, sneaking the next item I had a coupon for in my buggy.

It was horrible. I was exhausted. Two hours later and we are finally finished. We get up to the cashier, beaming, like we had just caught a fish and even baited the hook ourselves.

BLAM! Reality hits...

Cashier says "Your total is $132.32 with a total coupon savings of $7.45 ladies!"

Ex-ca-use me? So I spent an additional fifty damn dollars to save SEVEN?!?!?!?!



I swore off using coupons that very moment. We didn't even look at our flippin grocery list not one single time!

What's worse... I'm sitting here writing this and thinking about all the things I need to pick up from Wally world tomorrow. Dish soap (I have a coupon for that), papertowels (I just happen to have a coupon for Viva $0.50 off two rolls), Zip-lock bags (oh lord, I have a $1.00 coupon for two of those too)...


and the saga continues...



*Update: Just went into the kitchen to get some iced tea and saw 6 boxes of cereal I just purchased earlier. SIX! There are three of us in this apt. I don't do cereal and my kid eats breakfast at school. I had coupons! Stupid coupons for cereal!

American Idol, Gary Unmarried and Army Wives

Ok so American Idol was on tonight and I'm not happy.

Adam, of course, has major talent and I want him to screw up so bad it's unbelievable. It's not that I don't like him... it's just that I'm secretly in love with Danny Gokey and the only way he will win is if Adam chokes on a Lemonhead.

Lil - I think it's time to throw in the towel. Just another copycat performance and I hope I speak for the Nation when I say WE ARE TIRED OF YOU! However, she would be a hit on a cruise ship somewhere.

Allison rocks! I love that girl! Can't wait to hear her first album.

Matt Giraud - I think he saved himself, at least little bit, tonight. I was afraid the judges were going to use their "save" on him and the following week he was going to be eliminated. I don't think that's the case... at least this week.

Kris - my monkey impressionist singing little friend, I think you are fab! But I don't think you will win... sorry.

Anoop - I'm afraid it's probably the end of the road for you too. Your sweet ballad voice isn't going to carry you through to the end.

Danny - my love. I noticed took my advise from last week and stopped trying to hard to pull on America's heartstrings. You also didn't wear your wedding ring tonight, maybe because it wasn't a love song, and I think you did fantastic! His voice gives me goosebumps!

So that's my take on tonight's contestants. Tomorrow, two will be eliminated and in my opinion, Lil and Anoop need to hit the road.

On my 8 Things I Watch there were a few folks that hadn't even heard of Gary Unmarried, or Army Wives for that matter. Well my friends, if you like comedy, you are missing out! At least on Gary Unmarried. This dude is hilarious! It's just a silly little sitcom but we DVR it religiously.

You can check out some of the videos and read more about Gary Unmarried here. Basically, he's newly divorced with two kids. He's a complete jock-type man and owns a painting company. His ex-wife and he were seeing a therapist, who later became his ex-wife's new man (but now they are broken up after shacking up together). There's a huge age difference in the ex-wife and the therapist, so Gary takes every shot he can at dear old Crandle. The ex-wife is also a control freak SAHM who still tries to wedge her way into Gary's life. They are hilarious! If you like Two and A Half Men, you'll really like Gary Unmarried.

The other one folks didn't really know is Army Wives. Like I said, I'm not sure why I dig this show. No one I know is even in the Army. I think I got hooked during one of my stay-under-the-covers-and-melt-away-Lifetime-moments. Yes, I'm a Lifetime nut. I love sappy movies. And I love LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) just as much. Girl Power!!!

This one is about... you guessed it... Army Wives. There are 5 main characters. Four wives and one Army husband, who just happens to be a therapist. Cuz they definitely need therapy. All the characters are completely different in personalities and are there for each other with each Army husband deployment. It's a really interesting family issues kind of show. I'm a sap lol. This one comes on Lifetime on Sunday evenings. It's getting really good right now as season 2 comes to a close and season 3 will be starting June 7th. I religiously DVR this one and watch it alone, during naptime on Monday. You can read more about it here and I think you can even watch whole episodes online.

Yanno, I should really be getting paid for giving these shows virtual ^5's.

8 Things...

Tagged by Lana at The Kids Did WHAT?! Check her blog out folks! I just love her stick people lol.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

--> Payday!
--> Finishing my first semester back in school!
--> Seeing what next semester holds for me. I'll be glad when these stupid classes are over with and I can get into my program requirements.
--> My sissy coming to visit in May! I miss her so much!
--> The Chicken Coup the first weekend in June. It's a steel tip dart tournament at a campground. Super fun! Nothing but a bunch of kidless drunk folks trying to find their campsites, river rafting and darts. Last year was our first year and we had a blast!
--> Our trip to Florida in July to stay a week with my sissy at her summer house, lounging around in the sun, playing on the jet skis, going out in the bay on the boat, eating absolutely nothing healthy and having the time of our lives! That week alone saves me about $10K a year in therapy.
--> Sending Baby Love to school in the fall. She's so excited to be one of the big kids!
--> Spending the summer with ALL the kids! I'll have our 4 plus the 2 I keep during the day. Although I'm terrified that I'm going to pull out my hair during the first week, I think we are going to have a great time! AND I finally have a vehicle bigger enough for all of us to do field trips! Bring it on SUMMER!

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

--> Finished up my Holocaust class and did two oral presentations without coming up with some God forsaken disease allowing me to bow out gracefully and take the big fat ZERO for my assignments.
--> Put the corn in the raised beds. They look so pretty out there. Can't wait to get the rest of my seedlings in there and reclaim my diningroom for EATING!
--> Talked my sissy down from the ledge regarding her classes. She's getting the end of semester blues and everything is out of control for her.
--> Watched Schindler's List with the oldest kid last night. She's studying the Holocaust in school too, so it was a neat movie to watch together.
--> Let Andy watch the babies all day yesterday without stepping in to tell him everything he was doing wrong, and not that he does things wrong, he just doesn't do them MY way. The only time he called assistance was for the poopy diapers. I'm so proud of him!
--> Called my mama a day late for her birthday. What a loser. Being that I'm the favorite daughter of course.
--> Went to the Admissions office at school to get a parking sticker for the Minivan without the tag number. How stupid is that?
--> Read the syllabus for my stupid Art class and decided there shouldn't be that much reading involved in an Art class... so I'm boycotting the book.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

--> Be invisible whenever I wanted. That would be a cool super power to have doncha think?
--> Fly a plane. I've always thought that would be neat, except for the landing part. I'm sure I'd suck at that.
--> Be like Super Woman and change my clothes in a telephone booth. I think it would be cool to just change outfits with a couple of twirls and every hair would be in place, jewelry would be on, legs and pits would be shaved, and I'd smell like I just got out of a 2 hour Calgon-take-me-away session!
--> Draw. I suck at drawing but I think it would be super neat to put up something I created on the walls of our home.
--> Get paid for not working.
--> Think of cool pranks to play on Andy. He likes to scare the bajeezus out of me and I want to get him back so bad!
--> Wave a magic wand and see what my life looks like 5 years from now. That way, if it doesn't look the way I want it to, I can pull some strings now and fix it.
--> Wave that magic wand again so I would have a totally gorgeous body in a bathing suit this summer. No one wants to see dimple-ass whitey stampeding in their direction chasing after kids.

8 Shows I Watch:

--> Grey's Anatomy - do I really even NEED a reason to watch this one?
--> Gary Unmarried - the funniest sitcom EVER!
--> Army Wives - I'm not sure why, but I like this show.
--> American Idol - cuz I think I can sing
--> Private Practice - really, it's a good show, even with Taye Diggs on it.
--> Dirty Jobs - this guy cracks me up!
--> The First 48 - pretty neat stuff on this show. I like cops and robbers shows lol.
--> Law & Order: Criminal Intent - only the ones with Vincent D'Onofrio. I lust him.

8 People I Tag:
I'm not sure I even know 8 people to tag... but here goes.

--> Ruggy13 at Adorably Distracted
--> Sherri at Matter of Fact
--> Cara at Momma Says
--> Tiaras and Tantrums
--> Grand Pooba at ..Pooba..
--> Bon Don at Who Throws a Cupcake? Honestly.
--> That Girl at Sunshine and Rainbows
--> Georgie at Decisionally Challenged

Tag... you're it! No tag backs... and I promise not to stalk your beautiful bloggy pages to make sure you have posted your 8... I mean I will continue to stalk you, but I won't gripe if you don't play lol.