Thursday, May 21, 2009

Writer's Workshop: 10 Things

Join MamaKat over at Mama's Losin It for the weekly Writer's Workshop.

I chose prompt #3: List 10 things you are currently sick of

This should be easy! LOL

1) Fingerprints. I clean the sliding glass door and 10 minutes later there are million little people hand prints on it. I clean the glass storm door in front, and MY stupid self puts a forehead print on it. Give me a break, it's never been that clean before and I guess I didn't see it when I was trying to look out the front door and down the street for the mailman.

2) My art class. Which is over by the way. That class has been one disaster after another. I think I had the end of semester blues and the itch to play outside. Every assignment I was trying to finish was interrupted with either a kid screaming, an abscess tooth, a filthy house, a paper that I wrote single-spaced instead of double-spaced, a forgotten assignment, a cram session to get my 50 dang art pieces memorized (name, era and artist) or complete exhaustion and falling asleep with my face on the laptop. I woke up in a puddle of drool more than once people. Art is NOT fun!

3) People, their obsession with Adam Lambert on American Idol and not thinking Kris deserved to win. He was the dark horse and a great competitor. I wasn't thrilled with the shriekings of Adam and to be honest, he didn't need to scream EVERY DAMN THING.

4) This dang baby. Baby K is giving me the blues people. Real baby blues! She won't be more than 2 feet away from me without screaming at the top of her lungs. Occasionally, she'll be occupied with a toy, but as soon as she hears my voice or see's me walking through the house, which desperately needs some help, she's back to screaming at me to pick her up. I've tried the 10 minute thing where I let her scream... it doesn't work. I told her mama about it and she said, "You have the disease. She does that to me too!" Well, YOU gave that disease to this baby and I need you to fix it dear mother-of-the-child or I'm going to send you all to another day care. This.Is.Not.Fun!

5) The fridge not being closed. Our fridge is a piece o shit peeps. We bought it when we moved into this house from the apt and thought we got a good deal. It was in a used appliance store, big enough and already had a child lock on it. It was plugged in and cold as ice. Nice! Within a month (mind you, a day after the 30-day warranty period) the door stopped shutting all the way and you have to physically put your body on it to close it, secure the child lock, and pray it doesn't crack open in the middle of the night. The kids don't get this. And the child lock sucks because the 3-year-old has managed to crack the combination and graze through the fridge whenever he so chooses. Stupid fridge.

6) My sick body. For some reason, April and May have been a real challenge for me to stay healthy. I'm down for 3 weeks with a horrible upper respiratory infection, and I think I'm finally over the coughing fit ritual every morning as of today. Then my wrists start acting up. Then I've got an abscess tooth from hell. My back hurts... I think it's all the sweeping. I should not be forced to pick up another broom for the rest of my life, if you ask me. I think my body is telling me to go to Tahiti and take a nice long break, be handed drink after drink by a hot cabana boy named Pedro, and sit by the beach all day long under a fancy umbrella -- where children aren't allowed.

7) Work. I don't think I should have to work. It sucks. At the end of last year things were great... I was minding my own business, making good money and working from home. Right after Christmas we lost a multimillion dollar account and I'm on part-time status. I work when I want, but there really isn't enough work to go full-time. Then, out of nowhere BAM! The doctors are dictating like madmen and my boss flips out, emailing me that I need to be pulling more work. I'm juggling a full load at school, 2 kids during the day plus our 2 kids that aren't in school yet, getting the house prepared for my sister and her Dick to come stay for the weekend... and now I'm supposed to stop everything and work full-time again. Make up my damn mind!

8) Not having enough money when I want it. I know, I know, I'll be working more now and the money will start flowing in again. Andy makes good money folks, and he does a great job supporting our family of 6. I just don't like the feeling that if I want to go out and have a few drinks and throw some darts that I'm on a budget. Or if I want to take the kids to the movies or run away for the weekend, I've got to do my guzintaz (goes-into's, Beverly Hillbillies duh) to make sure there is enough left over to pay the damn water bill. Running water and flushing toilets are over-rated.

9) Getting everyone else's mail. Since we've moved here it's been a fiasco with the USPS. With the change of address that Andy filled out from his former address the USPS apparently felt it was prudent to move their HOUSEHOLD instead of the INDIVIDUAL mail. Plus, the mail from the apartment I was in for 5 years, where my mother also was for a period of time, now has sent her mail FROM TEXAS (don't ask) to our new address. She's a mail shopper, so I'm getting an influx of stupid old lady clothes magazines, and even shipped super big mama bra's that should be going to HER HOUSE.... IN TEXAS! Mind you, Andy loves the fact that we get his nephews ESPN and other sport mags sent to our house. He uses them for bathroom reading prior to sending them to their intended owner.

10) Aunt Flow. (Pardon my raging PMS moment) It seems that EVERY time we plan a road trip I'm on the rag. Check this... we are going to Texas this weekend. Two weeks later we are headed to an outdoor dart tournament with lots of drunks and camping. There is an entire spread of time between these trips that I could rag. No. Doesn't happen. Yesterday, Mother Nature rears her ugly head and today Aunt Flow and I are close, real close. So my hot, steamy, fancy nighty slam-me-against-the-wall-and-take-me-Daddy hotel room adventures with Andy in Texas will be postponed. I hate you Mother Nature. I hate you with a passion. On a positive note, at least I won't be bleeding like a stuck pig while I'm camping. Tent sex is great too; except for the rocks, sand, dirty, stinky sweat (completely different from normal bedroom gettin-it-on kind of sweat) and the balancing act to keep from rolling off the air mattress.

There you have it. My 10 things I'm sick of. Piece of cake. I'm off to finish cleaning up this house and comply with my boss' orders to crank out some work (pffft), all while ignoring 4 kids, unless of course there's blood or a bone that appears to be out of place.

Have a great day folks... and enjoy your weekend!

2 comments:

Joelene said...

Hahaha.

I'm sure if I started this, I wouldn't be able to stick to only 10.

~~Mel~~ said...

OMG I loved every single one of the things you are sick...okay not the things you are sick of but the way you described them lol.

I agree flushing toilets...totally over-rated. And what is with AF rearing her ugly head at the most inopportune times???