Friday, March 7, 2014

Ummm, Wrong Office Dude

So, funny thing happened at work today...  I am an office manager at a private practice for mental health.  Counseling.  That's our business.

Last summer Boss Lady bought a new building (an old house) and we have made this our primary location for business.  Before we were here this a non-profit organization offering services related to pregnancy and alternatives to abortion.  They were here for more than a decade. 

Anyhoodle, in any given week I get at least one straggler coming through the front door looking for a pregnancy test.  Usually there is limited conversation.  They walk in, ask if this is where they get a pregnancy test, I tell them nope and send them on their way.

Today was a different day.

I work alone most of the time.  Most of the time it's fun.  I blare the music and have complete control of the thermostat.  It's nice.  Boss Lady comes in when she has clients but they quickly go back to a therapy room and stay in there for an hour at a time.  So even when she's here I'm basically alone.

Well, it was about 1:30 this afternoon with a tall scraggly looking teenage dude comes walking in along with what appeared to be a teenage girl.  I didn't have anyone on the schedule.  Dude had hickies all around his neck, wrinkled t-shirt, hair that looks as if he rolled out of bed and kept rolling until he got here.  The girl had thankfully brushed her long, brown hair and she was much quieter.

Here's the convo that sealed up my week:

Me:  Hello, can I help you?

Dude:  Is the counselor here?

Me: (perplexed b/c I didn't have anyone on the schedule and I don't recognize these folks) She's on her way.  Did you have an appointment?

Dude:  My mom told me to come here.  For some test.

Me:  (Knowing we do all types of testing - for psych reasons, I'm intrigued)  Ok, what's your name?

Dude:  It's not for me, it's for her. (He points to the girl)

Me:  Ok, then what's your name? (I'm looking at the mousy girl at this point b/c goofball is answering exactly what I'm asking, but I need more info)

Girl:  mumbles some name that I cannot for the life of me recall, probably because I'm traumatized at how the rest of the conversation goes...

Me:  Are you needing pregnancy testing?

Girl:  No.

Dude:  I don't know what the name of the test is called, but the other day when I woke up there was blood in my pee...

Me:  STOP!  (I raised my hand up to him like I was singing "Stop in the Name of  Loveeee")  I don't need to hear anymore.  This office is for mental health.  Not THAT kind of health.  

I redirected this young couple about 1/2 mile up the road to where I hoped they would find some answers to his.... issue. 

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