Thursday, April 2, 2009

Thursday Revelation

So I'm addicted to reading blogs. I'm not sure what the issue is with me. Perhaps the virtual world is much more exciting than reality... perhaps I'm looking for a different perspective on my own reality. Perhaps I'm just avoiding work.

Anyway you look at it, the blogs I'm recently reading (stalking is more accurate) are all about how perfectly delicious every mom in the world is. How little Jimmy dropped jelly on the floor and she didn't freak out even though it's new cream colored carpet... or how princess Susie gets read to every night... or how hubby is so perfect! Where do I sign up for a life like that???

I, for one, am perfectly imperfect. I'm frumpy, I don't like people, my kids get on my nerves, my job sucks, my schoolwork is always behind and poor Andy gets the brunt of it all. I'm not at all in a bad mood... I'm in a perfect mood! I'm in a "lets be real" mood.

I've got tattoos, been pierced in places other than my ears and love to drink a cold one at my local bar. I occasionally enjoy strip clubs and tip both the males and females. I love to play darts in smokey bars filled with rednecks and local trailer trash.

My kids and my man are my life. Don't get it twisted. I wouldn't trade them for the world. But let's face it... when the teen starts wearing too much make-up and I tell her, "You look like that hooker I saw on 1st and Main last week" or when the 3-year-old intentionally whacks his 4-year-old sister in the head with a branch he found in the backyard, my first instinct isn't to tell him "Now play nice son."

Life is complicated. Life is wonderful. Life throws lemons and without sugar, that lemonade is going to suck big time.

I curse, I wear "Corona" sweatshirts and I spank my kids. I bite my nails, I have fat dimples on my ass and I don't own a brush. And sometimes, when the kids pass out in their clothes, I let them sleep OVERNIGHT in them! Gasp! I make my bed every morning and think my room is clean. I rant b/c I'm the only one who changes the tiolet paper roll and I sometimes will even burn dinner just so everyone knows they are blessed to have a good meal served.

Thurday's Revelation: I'm human! And my family understands me and loves me in spite of it...


Heidi said...

OK so your picture made me laugh out loud and then I READ your blog. You are so super awesome. I have NONE of these perfect things in my life. I write about the crap my family puts me through. So let's get through it all together, what do you say? Perhaps over a cold one.

Lana said...

Well said!
I could have written this, only I don't play darts. If I did, a lot of people would have darts sticking out of their eye sockets... :) and I hate changing the TP. Sometimes I'll leave it resting on the holder. Shh... don't tell anyone!!

That Girl said...

I agree with you on everything but I do own a brush. I was actually thinking about this yesterday how people 'pretend to be perfect' on the internet.