Random Tuesday Thoughts

So I'm joining in with the rest of the folks at The UnMom...

Frogs don't have tails, even though I'm "tale", so I'm thinking about giving my blog a facelift again.

Woo hoo! American Idol tonight! I so look forward to Tuesday and Wednesday nights. And although Andy is secretly jealous of my obsession with Danny Gokey, he still watches it each week with me. I heart him.

Never fails, I say "Big K, we are having pizza for lunch today!" And she says, "I don't want pizza. I want a chanwich." If I were serving "chanwiches" she'd want poptarts or a pizza.

We've been watching Big Love. For those of you who don't know, Bill Paxton plays a polygamist with 3 wifes. I have to admit, I feel guilty watching it. I don't agree with their lifestyle. Not to mention I have to listen to Andy's constant threats of when he gets more wives, but that I'll still be first wife so I shouldn't feel threatened. Even though all of my moral being says this is wrong... I can't stop watching it. I'm addicted. Since we finished all seasons of the Sopranos, we needed to find another series that we could rent a couple DVD's at a time to watch. Andy's nephew recommended this show, of course he's the one who watches the Whores of OC or whatever that face lifted boob job snot bag rich bitch housewife soap opera crap is that obsesses over.

My poor, poor Andy. Every day I send this man to work with a lunch, coffee and some fruit. His friends at work all comment on what a wonderful wifey I must be to pack his lunch every day. He gloats. It's nice. We snacked all day Sunday and Monday night I was at school, so Nisha and Andy went out to eat. There were no left-overs to pack for his lunch, so for the past two days he's only had his coffee because I haven't cooked. His friends at work today asked him if we had broken up.

If Mother Nature could keep the Windy Stick out of her butt long enough, I could get my indoor garden out of the dining room and into the raised beds Andy built for me. It would be so nice to have my dining room back.

Things I have to remember to blog about:

• My coupon fiasco
• My sister's Dick
• The Ex-Wife

We are actually paying someone to mow the lawn. $60 a month. It's not a lot. I suppose I could go to Starbucks, get me a grande frozen crack in a cup and do the lawn myself for about $5. Who am I kidding... I'm going to sip my frozen crack in a cup on the front porch and watch Ramon and the crew mow the yard in about 15 minutes flat.

I got out of school early last night and decided to surprise the folks at home. Andy and Nisha both had "chores" they were supposed to do before I got home. Andy had the kitchen and Nisha was to sweep the floors. How come when I pull up in the driveway at 7 nobody is home? And no chores are done? AND they are out SHOPPING!

My mama called yesterday to tell me she bought me a canning utensils set from eBay. You'd have thought she's just offered me an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas with how excited I was. Simple pleasures I tell ya. Simple pleasures.

My mama also told me that granny said I could borrow her canner, but I couldn't have it. She's 900 years old... seriously. Then she said I could "borrow" granny's canning jars too, but I had to give them back as well. Huh? Really... I'm not going to can some shit and label it "granny's jar" so that a year from now when I bust open that jar of marinara sauce I'll remember to send that jar back to Texas. Thank you for the offer granny, and I'll definitely borrow the canner... but you can keep your stinkin jars lol.

That's all I've got for now. Time to feed the kids and get ready for the most glorious part of my day.... Nap Time.